Sunday, March 30, 2014

10 Things...

10 Things I've Learned This Week:

  • Not everyone in the world likes breakfast tacos. Obvious because I'm not sure there's anything in the world that every single person would agree on but I'd never considered that there are people who hate breakfast tacos. Or any kind of tacos for that matter. 
  • Sunday is absolutely the worst day in the world to go grocery shopping. I'm still not sure what I was thinking aside from really wanting milk so I could continue on with my cereal addiction uninterrupted.
  • Even if I hate both teams playing, I will watch hockey if it's on. (Hello, Boston and Philadelphia.)
  • Cards Against Humanity is a lot of fun. Twisted, sides aching from laughing fun. I knew this already. The realization I had this weekend was how many weird and fucked up things I've learned about people in my life by playing this game. Things I would've otherwise likely never known had the game and certain cards not opened up into commentary thus revealing things about people that I'd sometimes like to unlearn.
  • Some people take the outfits of other people far too seriously. You're not wearing it and it's not hurting anyone, so please, calm the hell down. There's really no need for a five minute tirade about that ugly skirt and why that girl wasted her money. If it makes someone happy and hurts no one, leave it alone.
  • Some people will always be offended or upset when you would rather sit at home reading a book or drawing over going out to do something with them. They will always take it personally no matter how many times you explain that it's not them, it's you because sometimes, some of us just need to not be around other people. There's no need to apologize for needing time for yourself.
  • Books, music and baking are some of my favorite ways to lose myself but lately boxing has been a pretty favorable activity. Which is surprising to me because I've always thought boxing was a bit ridiculous. 
  • Having someone in your life that can always make you laugh is one of the greatest gifts you could ever receive.
  • I suck at asking for or accepting help when I need it, no matter what the issue at hand is. I need to get better about that. One day. Eventually. Maybe some day soon.
  • A broken blood vessel in your eye is not particularly painful. It is however one of the most annoying things in the world. Seriously, I just want to scoop my eyeball out, latch on an eye patch and call it a day. 
Happy Sunday :)

Thursday, March 13, 2014

Dear Drivers...

Dear drivers,

1.) Please learn how to merge properly. This is not a difficult task, for the merging or the drivers dealing with cars needing to merge on or off. 

2.) Turn signals come standard on your car and don't cost anything to operate so please use them.

3.) Do not tailgate people. You never know when they'll have to slow down suddenly and you may then find yourself eating the back of their car with the front of yours or swerving to avoid an accident. Which may work or may cause another incident. 

4.) The left lane is for passing. Please do not chill over there cruising along right at or worse yet, under the speed limit.

5.) Going under the speed limit when there's no reason to (construction, weather, other hazards or traffic) is annoying. It's also unsafe. And again very, very annoying.

6.) Stop speeding through parking lots. There are people walking everywhere, cars backing out of spaces and plenty of reasons aside from not being a douche to not speed through a parking lot.

7.) Stop merging onto the highway going 20+ mph under the speed limit, especially if the entry ramp gives you enough room to get up to speed. 

8.) Throwing your hazard lights on and parking any place you feel like is obnoxious. Just because you can stop there, doesn't mean you can park directly in front of the grocery store so you can go rent a RedBox movie to avoid parking and walking up there like a normal, decent human being. 

9.) Stop freaking out because there is some form of precipitation on the roads. If there's ice, snow or rain, you don't have to drive 5 mph, but speeding is dumb also. Use your brain.

10.) Turn your headlights on at night. Those are pretty important. Driving with your high beams on when there are other cars around is rude. Stop that. Headlights, yes. High beams, not unless it's necessary and you don't have cars in front of you.

11.) Please make sure you check your blind spot before merging into a new lane. And don't get enraged because someone honked at you for nearly taking off the front end of their car. You're the douche here unless they sped up intentionally to keep you from being able to change lanes.

12.) Speeding up to pass me then getting in front of me and slowing down because you don't want to get caught and get a ticket. What are you even doing?

13.) Please clean heavy snow or ice off of your car. It's going to fall off eventually, yes. Likely while you're driving. I do not appreciate that chunk of ice flying off your car and into my windshield and neither does anyone else. 

14.) Taking up two spaces in a parking lot is obnoxious. You don't want to run the risk of door dings, scratches or another person breathing around your car? Park it out in BFE away from all the cars. 

15.) Make sure your cargo is tied down properly and securely. No one wants that ladder/bag of clothes/box of junk/couch coming loose, flying off your car or truck bed and fucking up their car or causing an accident. You don't want that either so secure your items down properly.

16.) PUT YOUR FUCKING PHONE DOWN WHILE YOU'RE DRIVING. I don't care if it's a text you're reading/replying to, mundane crap on Facebook, a tweet you think you just have to send or a news alert that you think you can't go a few minutes without seeing; STOP IT. I avoid so many accidents because I'm paying attention to all of the people who aren't paying a damn bit of attention because they have their attention buried in their phones while they're driving. You shouldn't be operating a vehicle that can cause serious damage, injury or kill people if you're not going to focus on operating it. I don't care how good you think you are at multitasking between driving and keeping your nose in your phone, you're not. 

17.) Don't get drunk and drive. Have a designated driver. Call a cab. Call Uber. There are a ton of options that will prevent you from driving home smashed and not only endangering yourself but endangering the lives of innocent people around you.

I'm sure I forgot some things but these are the things that drive me most crazy. Being a safe and courteous driver isn't that difficult. Although being a self-absorbed asshole is pretty easy and way too common anymore. If I forgot something on the list and you want me to add it, feel free to say so.

Happy Thursday!