One of my friends is having her birthday celebration tonight for her 30th birthday. Dinner, bowling and martini bar hopping. She sent me a text message at 12:00 PM TODAY to let me know that dinner was at 6 PM and they'd go on from there. She lives an hour away from me usually, about an hour and a half or more during busy traffic times. However, the place she picked for dinner is about 2 and 1/2 hours away from where I live if not longer depending on what traffic is like. I replied that I worked until 4 PM today and there's no way I could get home, shower, get ready (even though I can shower & be ready in 20 minutes) and be at dinner by 6. I also really didn't want to drive that far to watch other people bowl and watch people get drunk then drive 2 and a 1/2 hours back home later tonight after getting up at 6 AM for work this morning. I explained all of that after a few more texts from her complaining that she hasn't seen me in a while, really wanted me to come, yadda yadda blah blah blah blah.
Then, I offered to take her out next weekend since she's busy tomorrow and Sunday is my mom's birthday. I said I'd take her out for dinner next Friday and we could go do whatever else she wanted after that. Which honestly would just be going to a bar because that's about all she really likes to do for fun. I of course said I'd be paying for the night out since it would be her belated birthday celebration.
Then I get this text: "No thanks, if you can't be bothered to come out tonight, just don't worry about it at all. My birthday isn't next Friday."
Well Princess, your birthday isn't this Friday either, it was on Monday, so fucking what?
Which was basically my reply, though I left out the so fucking what and added in how her logic was off.
Of course, I know her well enough that I know it has nothing to do with the actual date of her birthday. She wasn't always this way but within the last year she's developed the attitude that she wants exactly what she wants, when she wants it, the way she wants it, no exceptions. No compromise. Which is one of the reasons I've let the distance between us grow and grow this last year. She wasn't always so inflexible but she decided after reading a self-help book that she was going to make everything happen on her terms and her terms only. She gets her way or it doesn't happen. And honestly, I can't deal with that because compromising to make things work well for everyone is part of a good relationship. It doesn't mean letting people walk all over you but bending a little to get what you want while letting others do what works out best for them once in a while won't hurt anyone.
I get that it's her birthday celebration but to get mad because I don't want to make a 5 hour (or longer) round trip drive that has me missing the dinner and then only hanging out for maybe 2 or 3 hours at most before I have to leave to get home before I'm too tired to safely make the drive back home? Ridiculous.
Although, she did try to tell me I'm a horrible friend for not coming out tonight because guilt trips and insults TOTALLY GET ME TO DO WHAT YOU WANT. Yes, I'm the worst friend ever. An absolute terror to have in your corner and you should probably stay far away from me. ;)
Though from this, it got me thinking about people and society in a more general sense.
What I don't understand is how so many people are so completely unwilling to make compromises in life. It's not a big deal yet so many people seem to be so unwilling to do something any way other than their way or to go even slightly out of their way for someone else once in a while. I'm not sure if it's immaturity, arrogance, self-importance, stubbornness, selfishness or some mix of any/all of the above but whatever makes someone act with zero flexibility really sucks. Especially when dealing with friends and loved ones.
There is a huge difference between an occasional compromise and being a doormat
for the world. I'm FAR from being any one's doormat but I understand that
sometimes, you have to bend a little to make things work for everyone
involved. And sometimes, it's just nice to make things a little easier for others. I know people at times do the same for me in situations and I'm always grateful when someone (most of the people in my life) is willing to bend a little on something for me. It doesn't mean they're always happy about doing it and I'm not always happy about having to compromise on things but being a mature adult who isn't a complete asshat isn't always enjoyable and fun. The world might be a little more pleasant if more people would remember that simple fact.
Friday, October 25, 2013
Thursday, October 10, 2013
- I talked in my last post about participating in the Walk To End Alzheimer's walk at the end of last month. I ended up raising a total of $850 and had a nice time at the actual walk. It was an interesting experience and I'm looking forward to participating again next year.
- NHL hockey season is back in the swing of things and that's always awesome. The Stars home opener was meh but the next game on that Saturday against Washington was awesome. Being back in the arena to watch the Stars always bring me joy. Speaking of joy through hockey.... My youngest brother plays hockey pretty much all year with minimal breaks in between seasons so I'm watching him play all year. This year he made Junior Varsity for his highschool team and will also be playing a few Varsity games as well. He's also playing in another house league that his JV coach also happens to coach. He tried out and there was only one slot open and he's the one who made it. It's been fantastic watching him improve and move forward and I'm so proud of him.
- Working in a bakery is seriously maddening at times. I wish my boss would tell people during interviews that it's not going to be anything like what they see on reality TV baking shows. We hire so many people who don't realize how much work it actually is and the majority of them always mention they watched this show or that show and didn't realize it was hectic, stressful and a lot of work. Which I don't get but the high turnover rate we have because of people not being prepared to actually face a steady stream of tasks suggests it's a difficult concept to people who spend too much time thinking reality TV is exact. Though, I enjoy working with most of the people I work with. They're all a little weird and crazy and it's the first job I've had where I actually fit in and most of my co-workers don't think I'm the "weird one" because, well, we're all weird ones there. Or "quirky" if you listen to the lady who doesn't like to use the word weird because she thinks it implies a very negative feel but I digress. I work with some pretty awesome people and that helps tons when working in a busy, sometimes chaotic, rather stressful environment.
- I got a slow cooker given to me by my mom and a smaller one given to me by my grandmother. I've used the slow cooker a couple times in the many months I've had them. I really just don't know what to put in there and I don't mind cooking dinner after work most days. Though, as soon as the weather gets cool enough, I can see how it'll get more use for soups and stews. Though it's still feeling like Summer here so that won't be for another couple months maybe. Hopefully less. I just can't get excited about stew or a bowl of soup when it's still almost 90 degrees outside.
That's all I've got for now. I was going to write some deep and personal stuff but then I decided I'd rather keep that stuff to myself for a little bit longer. Or a lot longer. Or forever. So, boring life update instead since I decided to keep the personal stuff unwritten.