"The phrase, 'We need to talk' has the ability to strike fear into the heart of anyone."
Mostly, that's a true statement. If it's a person I have no emotional tie to, it's not likely going to alarm me hearing that. I never worry that I'm caught in some deception or a manipulation scheme gone wrong because I don't play silly games like that. When I hear that phrase from someone I actually care about, I start worrying because I just assume that something is wrong or something bad has happened. I start running through all the possible things that could be wrong, all of which pretty irrational and highly unlikely. The worst is when the phrased is said hours before the talk actually takes place. Though being honest is helpful because it eliminates having to worry about being caught in some deception. One less thing to worry over. ;) If it happens at work, I just wonder what I've done wrong now or what silly little thing am I about to get nit picked for today. Or if I'm in a bad mood that day, I might wonder if I'm about to become unemployed but that's only a lingering, mostly quiet little thought behind all the other ones.
"Sometimes I wish I could run over a pedestrian or hit the car in front of me, just to prove a point. "
So, proving a point with road rage and property damage? Makes sense. Seriously. How else are they going to learn? Being taught the proper ways, rules and laws to do things obviously doesn't work but having a reality check in the form of some road rage is sure to stun some sense in to people.*
"Going to the circus as an adult is a very different experience. As a child, you ask, "How did they do that?" And as an adult, you ask, "How the hell did they end up doing that?""
My thoughts are more along the lines of wondering just who thinks up some of the wicked stunts these people pull. And then wondering why anyone would want to risk their lives for a 5 minute set while hoping they enjoy their profession as much as they seem to. Followed up by me wondering why the hell I'm at the circus when I hate clowns and being in an enclosed space with supposedly tamed formerly wild animals. Though back to my point. I don't like that a lot of people look down on circus performers honestly. I don't like that anyone is looked down on because of their profession, judged by how they earn a living, but that's another rant all together. Here, I'm talking circus performers. I don't see why that's such a bad or weird gig to have. Especially if they enjoy what they're doing. How many of you can say you truly enjoy what you do? I look at the circus as being a little bit like performing arts. Sure, it's a bit more unusual than ballet or musical theater but, so what?
"I bet the worst time of a mans life is the eve of his daughters wedding day at about 11:30pm. "Welp... MY little girl is getting absolutely railed right now. Awesome.""
So traditionally from this standpoint, isn't the sex after the wedding and the reception? Not on the eve? I'm not religious and not a traditional old fashioned type so I'm unclear on this but I always thought it was after the wedding hoopla that the sex was to happen. That point aside, I'd hope no one's dad sits around thinking angrily about his daughter getting it on with her new husband after their wedding. That just seems a little odd to me. People know their kids have sex just like you know your parents have had sex before. I choose to acknowledge that fact but never think about nor ponder the event. Ever. That's just not something I want to think about. And not something I'd want either of my parents thinking about in regard to me.
"People say I'm a negative person. I'm not, I'm just consistent in being positive that bad things are going to happen."
You know those ironic tshirts with the clever little life anecdotes or sarcastic phrases on them? This should be one. I want to put this phrase on a coffee mug and set up shop outside of hipster coffee shops and bookstores and see how many I sell. People just love to make themselves seem positive when they're being negative because it doesn't seem as bad, so I'm sure I'm going to make a fortune with my new endeavor.
"I can't wait to be old so I can say, do and wear crazy things and it's considered cute not strange."
Or you could just stop caring so much about what people think. Dun dun dun. Seriously, people put way too much thought into what other people will think of them. You're never going to see most of the people you walk by daily again, who cares what they're going to think about you? And the people in your life that matter should accept you as you are. If they don't, well, they suck. Do what makes you happy and stop worrying about what everyone else is going to think.
"I realize that you have a laptop with a built in camera, but it doesn't mean that you have to take a million pictures with it and post them all."
I don't even have a thought to go with this other than, RIGHT ON. I just wanted this one to be part of this blog post. Spot on. Awesome. Love it. Kudos. In case you're some how not getting it, I AGREE WITH THAT STATEMENT 100%. Everything is expressed more urgently and seen as more important when you say it in caps lock, right? Why else would everyone feel a need to prove their point in such a fashion? ;)
*If you took me seriously there, go lay down, please. I do not support violence or property damage though I am a big supporter of sarcasm. ;)