When I couldn't find the words I needed to express what I was feeling, I'd express my emotions through art. I doodled when I felt anxious. When I was feeling something but didn't understand what, it would be frustrating because I love writing and that was something I used even when I was young to clear my head and feel better. Sometimes, I didn't know what was bothering me and I couldn't even put words to it in my head. When words failed, I had art. I could sit there and just let my hands work over the paper and afterward, I'd feel better.
Art class was one of my favorites and the one I paid the most attention in. If I could have had Art class, History, English and gym all day, that would have been awesome for me. It doesn't work that way, though. I remember a lot of the work I did in art classes in school ended up staying in school because my teachers wanted to use them as examples. It was always cool to see something I did in a classroom being used to illustrate to other students what the point of a project was.
For some reason, which I don't even understand, I stopped drawing, sketching and painting for several years. I've got crayons and colored pencils at home. I use them to draw goofy little things once in a while but mostly, they just sat there untouched and I didn't even think about why I wasn't using them.
I was in a crafts store a few months ago with my friend, The Lawyer, and ended up wandering down several aisles full of art supplies. Sketch pads, chalk, charcoals, colored pencils, paint brushes and tons of other supplies. I found myself standing there looking at things that had once been such a regular part of my life, so familiar and comforting to me, and wondered why I had stopped using art as a form of expression and an outlet. I've never stopped writing so why did I stop sketching and painting? I didn't have an answer for that. So, I picked up a sketch pad and some pencils and promised myself I'd use them later.
I did, too. It felt good to put pencil to paper and create something again. It's fun to watch the lines and curves forming on the page into something more. It's comforting and soothing in a way, too. It's therapeutic in the same way that writing is also therapeutic at times. It's another little thing that makes me happy and I enjoy it greatly. Now, I just have to remember not to let it get away from me again.