I think about pretty random things when I'm sober so no surprise I think up things just as random whilst intoxicated. Last night, we had a wedding/reception to go to and then a birthday celebration after the reception. I had some alcohol at the reception which I ended up with by random people buying me drinks because the bar was cash only and I only had my card on me. I'm not a mooch, people just like me for some reason, haha. We left the reception around 11:30 and headed to the birthday celebration at a bar about 25 minutes away from the reception location. I had 6 tuaca bombs during the hour and a half we were with the birthday boy, his wife and some mutual friends. And that's when my brain decided to kick into overdrive and start ruminating things that were a combination of silly, random, senseless, insightful and just plain weird. It happens. More so when I'm drunk. Off topic here but no worries, I didn't drive at all. The boyfriend did and he didn't drink at all. That's how we roll, one drinks and the other stays sober but I digress.
I was talking to my buddy The Lawyer when I had a random thought pop into my head. I haven't heard this song in years so I'm not sure why this thought came to me but whatever. It was there. I mentioned it to my boyfriend but I'll be damned if I can remember what his response to it was. However, bringing the thought to The Lawyer's attention proved to be more fun. Here's the conversation that followed....
Me: "You know what's wrong with that hips don't lie Shakira song?"
The Lawyer: "Everything?"
Me: "Okay maybe because I hate that song but hips don't lie because they can't speak, so it would be impossible for them to lie anyway. You know, taking the lyrics in a more literal context than they were meant to have."
The Lawyer: "Haha, man.. How weird would talking hips be? Imagine if they did talk & bitched at you for food you were about to eat & clothing choices you made."
Me: "Or if you're about to have sex with someone new & they start protesting."
The Lawyer: "Haha, that might be a total mood killer depending on what your hips start saying."
Me: "OH GOD THE LAST ONE WAS BAD ENOUGH BUT REALLY, THIS FUCKING GUY/GIRL IS THE BEST YOU COULD DO? GIVE ME A BREAK, REALLY, IS THIS HOW DESPERATE YOU ARE NOW?"
The Lawyer: "Hahaha. Holy shit dude. If hips are that brutally honest, it's a good thing they don't talk."
FYI, if hips could talk then mine would totally be that blunt & brutally honest, lol. Though on the off chance they just started saying mean stuff for the hell of it, I'd have to smack them around for being bitchy to me or my boyfriend. If they're talking shit to anyone else, well it would depend on what they were saying and to whom they were saying it to.
This has been a post. Thank you and goodnight. Or good morning by the time y'all actually see this.
Happy Saturday!!! :)
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