Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Icing kisses.

Thanks a bunch to everyone who commented to tell the Boyfriend Happy Birthday yesterday. Thanks also to everyone who tweeted him on his Twitter account to wish him a Happy Birthday, too. He worked until around 12:30 AM and got home around 1 AM. I used crayons and some printer paper to make him a birthday card and a couple birthday signs. I made him some food and a birthday cake and used the night stand as a table (we don't live alone so if we want privacy, the only place we get it is the bedroom) to set all the goodies out on. We snacked, talked and watched a movie after he read his birthday card. It was nice.

Veronica over at Another Suburban Mom has a post up about a dance recital. There is actually something incredibly endearing and more than a bit touching that goes along with the cuteness of her daughter's dance recital. I got misty eyed reading it because I was so touched by it. I don't get misty eyed or cry easily at all but this just hit a nerve.
Y'all should head over there and read this post once you're done here.

And just because I'm emotionally exhausted (too much stuff went on yesterday evening and a lot of it wasn't exactly good) and don't feel like writing anything else, I'm going to post these questions that I swiped from Veronica's blog.

1. What curse word do you use the most?
Fuck. Or motherfuck.

2. Do you own an iPod?
I do. I use it a lot however since downloading a free Pandora app onto my cell phone, I find I'm using my iPod a little less.

3. What person do you talk to on the phone the most?
My boyfriend, Fangs, my mom.

4. Do you still remember the first person you kissed?
Yep. :)

5. Do you remember where you were on 11/9/01?
I can't tell if this is meant to read day/month/year or if they're just using the 9/11 numbers. Either way, I was doing school work or asleep or doing one of the things I did when I was a teenager.

6. What was the last movie you watched?
On DVD, the Boyfriend and I watched The Ugly Truth. In the theater? I think Alice In Wonderland. We can't afford to go very often and I usually don't care about most of what's coming out anyway.

7. Has anyone ever called you lazy?
I'm sure someone has but it's not something I get called often enough to remember.

8. Do you ever take medication to help you fall asleep?
When I have a cold, yes. Otherwise, no. I probably should. Then I'd get more sleep.

9. Has anyone told you a secret this week?
Yes. And OMG it's a good one. :)

10. What is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
It varies. Anything from height, hair, smile, clothes, if they smell good or not, etc. Just depends on what catches my attention first.

11. What are you looking forward to?
Getting a job and not being broke. :( That's pretty much all I'm looking forward to currently. After that, I'll be looking forward to being able to get my own place with the Boyfriend again.

12. Do you own any band t-shirts?
TONS. About half of my t-shirts are band t-shirts. Guess what the other half of my t-shirts are? :p

13. What will you be doing in one hour?
Sleeping for a few hours.

14. Is anyone in love with you?
My boyfriend. :)

15. Last time you cried?
Around 2 hours ago. :/

16. Are you on a desktop computer or a laptop?

17. Are you currently wanting any piercings or tattoos?
Yes. Those must wait, for now.

18. Would you ever date anyone covered in tattoos?
I have before.

19. What were you doing before this?
Washing dishes.

20. When is the last time you slept on the floor?
The last time I feel asleep in a friend's living room. I never sleep on the floor here. Hardwood isn't that comfy.

21. How many hours of sleep do you need to function?
4. I can do 3 if I end up having too but I need at least 4 to be up and in a decent mood.

22. Do you eat breakfast daily?
Most days. :)

Happy Wednesday!

Leave a comment?

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Happy Birthday to you!!

“The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in.”

"Your task is not to seek love, but merely to seek & find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it."

"When love is not madness, it is not love."

Today is my boyfriend's 25th birthday. I'm exactly two weeks older than him, woohoo.

No one understands me as well as he does. When I met him just over 5 years ago, I didn't imagine I'd end up with him. We were friends and then a little more than that for a year before we got into a relationship together. May was our 4 year anniversary and no one makes me happier than that man does. He makes me laugh, doesn't care that I'm better at sports and video games, bakes me cupcakes, will stand up for me against anyone, understands me, accepts me and all of my flaws and so much more. He's sweet, intelligent, caring, honest, funny and has one of the biggest hearts out of anyone I know.
He treats me so well and he's just an all around wonderful person.

He doesn't blog but he does have Twitter. He checks it more than he actually tweets. So if you Twitter and you want to, go tell him Happy Birthday. :) @IROCbobZ28 is his Twitter name for those of you who don't already follow him.

He doesn't let me show his face online so this is as close as you get. This picture was taken two years or so ago, in a bar where we were celebrating something with a bunch of friends.

Happy Birthday, baby!!!
I love you!!

Comments, please?

Monday, June 28, 2010

Product Review: LELO Gigi

I received the LELO Gigi to review from the nice people over at Adult Sex Toys in this pretty color. I call it fuchsia, LELO calls it "deep rose" but either way...

I was initially excited to try this toy. It's my second LELO product and they have such great hype for being well made toys. Aside from being well made, people rave about their performance. I'm a cynical person so I don't often fall prey to a lot of hype because I always believe if something sounds too good to be true, it probably is. So my excitement for tying a second LELO toy was more to see if I would like this one or not. I didn't enjoy my Ella. I have to tell you, I didn't enjoy Gigi too much either. So if you're looking for another review singing nothing but praise for the Gigi, this isn't the one you'll want to read. There are plenty out there, however.

I don't normally talk packaging but LELO's packaging is impressive. They make sure their
"luxury" sex toys arrive in style. The box matches the color of the toy. Then you open it up and there's another box inside, black and quite nice made out of study material. Inside you find all of this:

There's Gigi firmly in the sturdy holding place. You lift the toy out and underneath is a satin storage pouch, guarantee, instruction manual in several different languages and the charger for the sex toy.

One of the things I do like about Gigi is that it comes with a charger. Rechargeable sex toys eliminate the need for batteries. Which is not only environmentally friendly but nice since batteries can be fucking expensive and not something I can afford to spend money on right now, lol. You plug the toy in, let it charge for 2 hours and voila. It's ready to go and holds a pretty decent charge. I was able to use it a number of times for my reviewer research off of one charge. I think I got roughly about 3 hours of play time on one charge. Maybe a little more. You cannot use it while plugged in so make sure to fully charge it, then remove it from the adapter. The light around the control pad lights up while charging. When it turns red, it's time to charge it again.

Now when it comes to sex toy material, silicone is pretty much my favorite thing. The handle is hard plastic and smooth but I had a little trouble keeping a good grip on it because it's small. Also the control pad takes up most of the front of the handle so it was hard for me to keep the kind of grip I like to keep on a toy for control without messing with the buttons on accident. The toy is non-porous, Phthalates free and feels good to the touch. There aren't any ribs, twists, turns or other textures to feel with Gigi. Just a sleek silicone covered shaft that's incredibly smooth, almost luxurious in a way. The color is fun and pretty, too.

Lets talk size. This G-spot vibrator is not for anyone who likes size when it comes to picking out toys. The toy itself is 6 1/2" in length but you can only insert 4 1/2" inches of the toy. With a circumference of 3 1/2" inches and a 1 1/8" diameter, Gigi is pretty petite.

Size is one of my complaints about the lovely Gigi. It doesn't hit the spot for me like it does for a lot of people who have used it. The flat head and slight curve are meant to work your g-spot into a frenzy. It doesn't do it for me because it doesn't quite reach my g-spot. Also with thrusting, it was hooking onto my pelvic bone. Not fun, not sexy, no thanks.

There are multiple settings to work your way through, so if you're not prone to reading instructional manuals you may just want to make an exception in this case. ;) Though, it's easy to figure out. There are five programmed stimulation modes.

First: Continuous vibrations.
Second: Extended interval pulsations.
Third: Intermediate interval pulsations.
Fourth: Short interval pulsations.
Fifth: Wave pulsation.

The built in control pad lights up and is easy to use. A little too easy because I had issues switching between the vibration and speed settings accidentally. The control pad has an arrow pointing up and an arrow putting down for the top and bottom controls. This controls the vibration setting. The left to right are a plus and minus. You turn the toy on by pressing down on the plus sign. The +/- controls the intensity of the vibrations once you find the setting you want. It also has a locking feature so you can lock the vibrator to prevent it from accidentally turning itself on if you have it in a suitcase, purse or anywhere it could rub against something and accidentally come on. That's another plus for it.

The vibrations go from barely there on the lowest setting to vroom on the highest setting. Only one vroom, no vroom vroom. The vibrations aren't bad but I would have preferred them to be a little stronger, at least. I like really strong vibrations, though. Of course, I would have also liked it to reach my g-spot but I digress. If you're fine without really strong vibrations, you might find the vibrations here really pleasant. The lowest vibrations kind of reminded me of being softly, sweetly caressed. Just, you know, on the inside.

Even though I didn't enjoy thrusting with this and didn't get any g-spot stimulation out of it,
I did try the toy on other parts of me where size/shape wasn't an issue. I used it on my nipples, that was fine and dandy. I have uber sensitive nipples and love having mine teased. I used it on my clit, it worked well there. However, for what it costs, I don't recommend it for nipple and clit play only. I also tested it as a massager on some sore muscles in my fore arm and it did nicely at working those, too. It's nice to find alternate uses sometimes. ;)

I didn't use this toy anally and pretty much think inserting this toy anally would be a bad idea. Don't do it. It's small, there's not a flared based to keep it from going places it doesn't belong and it's not easy to keep a good tight grip on.

Cleaning is easy. Blah blah blah, warm water and soap. Make sure the rubber piece that goes into the charging adapter hole is securely in place, avoid getting that area wet. Avoid getting the control pad wet. Gigi isn't waterproof and she's an expensive little thing so you wouldn't want to kill her while cleaning it. Toy cleaner or toy wipes work well too. Also, never use silicone lube on your silicone toy unless you're trying for some odd reason to ruin your pretty new toy.

Noise wise? LELO's are known for being quiet toys. I will give them that. Gigi is super quiet. On a scale of 1-5, I'd put the noise level at 1.5 or possibly a 2. No more than that, though. I used it the first time without any music or background noise and I could only hear a faint murmur or something. With a little background noise on, I didn't hear a murmur or anything else. Definitely another plus side there.

My issues with Gigi are the size, the vibrations not being as powerful as I like and the fact that it doesn't hit my g-spot like it should. Which is a bummer but at least I can still use it for other things once in a while so it's not just sitting in its pretty little box going unused.

This sex toy review sponsored by Adult Sex Toys : over 8,000 sex toys and adult toys to choose from.

Happy Monday!

Comments, please?

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Saturday Secrets #4

Saturday Secrets #4

If you want to submit something, email it to me (amorousrocker [at] gmail [dot] com) or leave your secret anonymously in the comments. I have moderation on so I can copy your secret to be posted and the comment will never show up.
None of these are my secrets because well, I don't have anything I want to fess up to this week, lol. I did get a lot of people that submitted plenty for me to use today, though. Thanks to everyone that submitted a secret to be posted here today!

Secret #1: My step-father masturbates in his office late at night. I can see into his office from the backyard and I like to creep out there and watch him jerk off.

Secret #2: I cry myself to sleep every night. Not because I miss you. Because I miss the person I used to be before I changed for you. I'm not sure how to get her back.

Secret #3: I haven't cut in 2 years. I want to lately.


Secret #5: I steal one pair of clean panties from every girl I sleep with and have done so since I lost my virginity. I keep them in a box in the back of my closet and have 26 pairs of panties to date in there. My goal is 50 pairs and I only take one pair from each girl I sleep with. I feel smug when I look at that box not because it represents sex but because I take nice pairs and know those girls must have been annoyed wondering how they "lost" a pair of panties.

Secret #6: I feel semi sorry for all the sex bloggers who feel like they're special and important just because they have a lot of people following their blogs. Tons of those people only come for the smut so good for you for supplying people with a spank bank and then feeling superior about it. You're not famous just because you are well known in your little corner of the internet. Get a fucking life in the real world and stop spending so much time "living" online!!!

Secret #7: I love to masturbate but I have never had an orgasm from masturbating.

Secret #8: I love Lady GaGa but I won't ever admit it to anyone that asks.

Secret #9: I think you're a horrible human being but I can't stop watching you as you self destruct and spiral out of control. You are the definition of a train wreck and I cannot look away and I pity you for not realizing just how fucked up you are.

Secret #10: I have been sexually active regularly for 9 years and have NEVER had an orgasm. The longest I have gone without sex is 3 months. Nothing. I have seen doctors, read books, tried all I know to try and all I have been told to try and STILL NOTHING. I am afraid something is wrong with me that keeps me from getting to reach and experience an orgasm.

Secret #11: I masturbated with your toothbrush. Then I put it in my butthole. I put it back but didn't clean it.

Secret #12: If I could make you dead with my mind, I would do it. Just kidding I don't want you dead but if I could make you suffer with my mind the way I suffered for you, I would do it.

Secret #13: I hate that my mom is marrying you. She could do way way way WAY WAY better. Asshole. My real dad didn't deserve her and you don't deserve her either.
I hate that she settles for less than she deserves because she keeps getting with men who treat her like crap.

Secret #14: I want to fuck my therapist. He's gay and it'll never happen but I fantasize about it during sessions and sometimes when I wank.

Secret #15: Sometimes, I dance around my room and pretend that I'm dancing with you and you're twirling me around a glamorous ballroom like Bell and Beast at the end of the Disney version of Beauty and the Beast.

Secret #16: I love blogging but I cannot stand most other bloggers and it makes me happy that not a lot of people read my blog or even "know" who I even am. Most are so self-centered and arrogant and think their lives are so fucking great or that they as a person as so great and it makes me laugh. I wonder how much of it is real and how much is just what they wish is real because they're too scared to live the life that they wish they lived. I think if some people had the full lives they claim to then they wouldn't have so much free time to constantly blog and talk on twitter about what they're doing all the time.

Secret #17: I cry every time I watch Dirty Dancing. I want something like that. Someone to believe in me. Someone to make me feel that I'm more than just that girl in the corner no one notices.

Secret #18: I slept with her then I slept with her sister later that night. Two weeks later, I got a blowjob from their mom. I want to fuck their older brother.

Secret #19: I prefer the fantasy world I have created in my mind because reality scares me.

Secret #20:
I'm 26 and I'm still a virgin. I've had tons of chances but I'm so self-conscious about my small penis that I haven't ever taken up any offers of oral sex or intercourse.

Whew! That does it for the secrets today. If you submitted one last weekend or during the week at any time and don't see it here today, it'll be posted next weekend. I actually have a few more left but I decided to stop at 20 in case I don't get many submissions from now until then. Thanks again to everyone for submitting their secrets for me to use. ;)

And remember, if
you want to submit a secret for me to use in a future post, email it to me (amorousrocker [at] gmail [dot] com) or leave your secret anonymously in the comments. :)

Have a good weekend, y'all!

Leave a comment, please?

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Questions, rambling, lol...

In a perfect world, what 7 foods would you make completely healthy but they would still taste just as good as they do now?
Pizza, ice cream, fried chicken, cupcakes, spaghetti, waffles and Chipotle burritos.

If the Dallas Stars moved away to another state or city, would you still be loyal to them?
Yes but I'd be pissed. I'd be sad about not getting to go to Stars games any more, too. That would suck. Luckily the AAC and the Stars have an agreement that prevents the Stars from leaving Dallas.

If someone paid you one million tax free dollars, would you openly cheer against the Stars during a game while attending said game?
Uh... possibly. That's a lot of money and I'm broke as hell. And seriously, that's a lot of money. I'd probably agree to do it for the money and then forget about it, lol. Can I cheer against certain players on my team that I dislike instead? :D

Those 3 questions were posed to me by a reader. She asked if I would answer them on my blog instead of just replying to her e-mail. I said sure so there you are. :)

I love being able to see my blog stats and see some of the odd things people Google that some how put them on my blog. :D I wonder how disappointed they are sometimes when they find a boring blog that has nothing to do with their search, though. :)

One of my friends was going to attempt to burn me copies of her P90X DVDs and mail them to me. (She moved 7 hours away from Dallas so going over to them or do the work outs with her is not feasible.) Then she found out the burner she has doesn't burn DVDs. It also doesn't burn music either. Apparently spilling orange soda on electronics ruins them. Who would have thought that? :p (She spilled a soda on it a month ago, cleaned it off on the surface with a towel and assumed it would be fine. Aye.)

I don't get why people get free things and then complain about the quality of said items. You buy cheap stuff, you get a cheap product more often than not. Hence the whole 'you get what you pay for' thing. So, when people get free items and then bitch about them being poor quality or not up to their standards... duh? You want a better product, go buy the better product. Stores don't often give out expensive, well made stuff so if you're going somewhere because the first 200 people are getting someone free? Don't expect champagne when a bulk package of kool-aid mix is cheaper. They're using the free product to try and get you in to buy stuff. They know most people are just coming for the free stuff. They're not going to be out a lot of money on an expensive product when they won't make the profit back let alone break even. It's simple. Just sayin'.

The NHL Awards were last night. See, I watch award shows! At least that one, anyway. I just can't care about entertainment awards since I don't like most mainstream music or television and I hardly see movies and just don't care about pop culture in general. I digress. This was one of the funniest part of the show. The skit with the Anaheim Ducks players, even though I dislike the Ducks quite a lot as a general rule. This shit is funny as hell. Though, I can't guarantee a non-hockey fan will find it as funny. You never know, lol.

Bobby Ryan vs. Ryan Getzlaf.

Happy Thursday!

Leave a comment, please? :)

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Crying into the meat case..

Sunday, I was in the grocery store and there was this man staring at the hamburger meat looking sad and confused with a few tears rolling down his cheek. I noticed people staring at him and then hustling away. I walked up next to him to check out the hamburger meat and hopefully find one that was $3 so I could make tacos for dinner. I looked at him from the corner of my eye and was about to ask him if he was okay or if he needed some kind of help. I didn't have a clue what a grown man in his mid to late 40's would be crying at the meat case for and he looked truly confused. Before I could ask him anyway, he looked at me and randomly asked if I knew that it was Father’s Day. I told him I did know that. He said he did not realize that it was Father's Day until he got to the store and saw the Father’s Day specials sign hanging up in the front windows. I said that was awful. He shrugged and a couple more tears rolled down his face. He told me he had recently finalized his divorce and that his son was away due to being in the military and his daughter was in rehab currently. A few more tears rolled down his face and he went back to looking at the meat looking lost and confused. So I told him Happy Father’s Day. He looked at me and said I was the first person to say that to him all day. I told him I hoped that I would not be the last. He just nodded. I grabbed my wallet out of my bag and while I was doing that asked him if he enjoyed reading. He nodded and said he did then looked at me looking even more confused. I had a $15 gift card to Barnes & Noble in my wallet that I had received Tuesday as a birthday gift so I pulled it out and gave it to him and told him Happy Father’s Day again. He looked at the card, looked at me, told me thank you and then started crying again. I just told him it was no problem and that I hoped his day got better before walking away from him.

I felt really awful for the man. I've never in my life seen anyone staring at a meat case in the grocery store looking so utterly lost and sad. Anyone that has read my blog for any length of time knows that I'm big on helping people out when I can. I'm not in the best place right now, being unemployed and broke as hell. I know there are people out there who have it worse and that have bigger problems than I do, though. So, I take each day in stride and try to remember that while life kind of fucking sucks right now that it could be worse. I'm a sucker for helping people, though. I had a job interview on Tuesday and while walking down the street in downtown Dallas, some guy and a lady asked me if I had any change I could spare because they wanted to get some burgers off the dollar menu from McDonald's. I have less than $60 in my checking account currently but at least I have a place to live and food in the house. Even if it's not a lot of food, it's still more than a lot of people have. I had $17 in my wallet. I gave them $5. They got happy, thanked me several times and then scurried down the street and went into the downtown McDonald's. I told a friend about it and he asked me why I would do that when I don't have much money myself and no income and no one to help me out financially. I didn't really have an answer other than the fact that $5 isn't that big of a deal and if it went to feeding some people who might not have gotten to otherwise eat, then it went to something good. Which makes me happy to be quite honest.

I do a lot of good things and volunteer a lot of free time into helping others. I don't talk about it much because I don't do it for praise or anything else. I don't do things like that because I feel like I have to either. I do things like that because while I might not have much right now, I still feel like a pretty lucky person and I still have more than some people. If giving an hour of my time, some cans of vegetables or $5 for some double cheeseburgers can help make another person's life better, that's worth it to me.

The $15 Barnes & Noble gift card was a birthday present from a friend. While I would have loved to go by myself a book or two, I would like to think the man in the grocery store that I gave it to will enjoy it more. I hope that, even though he was so unhappy and sad, that my small gesture might have made the day suck a little less for him. At least someone somewhere acknowledged the day for him, even if it was a random stranger he'll never see again. He wasn't asking me for anything and I didn't feel obligated to help him. I just thought it might cheer him up a little so, why not?

I think if everyone made an effort to do something to help other people once in a while it would make the world a better place. Too many people are selfish, to be honest. So many people don't give a shit about helping anyone. If you don't want to help other people, fine, don't. There's no law that says you have to. Just don't make bullshit excuses about why you can't because no matter how good the excuse sounds, that's all it is.

It takes so little to make another person's day a little brighter, a little better. You don't even need money or gift cards to do it, either. Say something nice to someone when you normally wouldn't. You know, that can of green beans and that ca of beets that have been in the pantry for months? Take them and drop them off at your local food bank. Ask a random person how their day is. Have a few shirts in your closet you rarely or never wear anymore or maybe some pants that don't fit anymore? Find a shelter and drop them off. There are tons of ways you can do good things for other people that are less fortunate than you. The small things that seem so insignificant to you just might be a huge gesture to someone else. You just have to want to.

Happy Tuesday!

Leave a comment, please?

Monday, June 21, 2010

How I celebrated my birthday...

Friday night I got to go out and celebrate my birthday (actual birthday was on Tuesday) with a small group of friends and my boyfriend.

Earlier in the day, I had a job interview.

After the interview, the boyfriend took me to TGI Fridays for dinner. He wanted to take me to The Cheesecake Factory but I opted for Fridays instead. Not that I don't love The CF because oh my gosh... if I could afford it, I'd splurge and eat there once a week. I've been wanting Fridays for weeks, though. We don't usually have money to eat out so I took my opportunity to go to the place I've been wanting to go to for weeks. I don't eat a lot of stuff from there ironically but they have this burger that I fucking love so... Craving satisfied. :D

After that, we roamed around Barnes & Noble for a while. I had a $15 gift card to use that one of my friends had given me Tuesday for my birthday. I ended up not using it and then we went home so we could get ready for the night ahead.

We got ready to go out. We went and picked up one of my friends, Short Girl. We went to the beer store so SG could get some beverages for herself. She got Mike's Hard Pomegranate Punch and Smirnoff Lemonade and also a 12 pack of Coors Light for CL. (Since I haven't talked about my friends in a long time, CL and SG are now dating and have been for a couple months now thus ending their 3 years of flirting and crushing. Awww.) Then we went to pick up CL and his Uno cards. Then it was back to the house because I forgot to grab the bottle of rum out of the closet that I was given for this night. Then Graphics Guy and his new girlfriend, whom we'll call Drinksky, met up with us. Foghat was supposed to come with but he ended up bailing. No big deal, I pretty much expected him to do that since it's what he does a lot lately. Once we had everyone and everything together, we went off to Main Event.

At Main Event, there were drinks. SG bought me my first drink. Then some air hockey going on. I rocked that shit. I did lose one game to the boyfriend. I won the rest, I believe. Then there was more drinking. Drinksky got my next drink. Then some more games. Then some Jell-O shots that were terrible that we decided to do before we left. Then we got hit on by one of the cops that was patrolling in there that night as we stood in the bar area waiting on the guys. Cop was kind of creepy. We went off to get back to the guys so we could leave.

We left. We went to Kroger's so GG and Drinksky could buy some beer. We then hit up a Wendy's for the dollar menu because Drinksky informed us she had not eaten all day and CL and SG were also hungry.

After that, we went to one of our friend's apartment. We'll call him SC. Sheesh, I seriously need to update my cast list, apparently. :D Anyway. We got there, got all the booze upstairs. His girlfriend was already asleep but thankfully she's a sound sleeper. We got all the booze situated in the refrigerator and then Inglourious Basterds went into the DVD player while we got to drinking. We chatted for about half an hour. SC and the Boyfriend went into the extra room in the apartment to check out some computer stuff. I grabbed CL's Uno cards and we played Uno. And drank. And talked. And laughed. And stopped once in a while to watch a bloody scene in the movie before getting back to the Uno play. After more drinking, CL tossed a bottle cap down SG's shirt and she smacked him and told him to get it out. He laughed and told me to get it out. I said I'd pass. I'm not attracted to SG and she's not interested in females in the slightest bit. Drinksky then piped up and "accidentally" dropped a bottle cap down her shirt and asked me to fish it out, with my mouth. Which lead to a discussion, drunkenly, over Uno, about sexuality. Totally interesting but the fact that it was interesting was about all I remember about it, lol.

Playing Uno turned into us sitting there drinking more than playing and not keeping up with who was supposed to be playing one. I got the brilliant idea that we should go for a walk and find one of the pools in SC's apartment complex. He had mentioned earlier we should have brought stuff to swim in so we could go swimming.

Now mind you, this was at... hell I don't even remember what time it was. Some time after 2 AM. I think it was around 3 AM. Anyway, I had the idea that we needed to go on an adventure and find the pool. SC mentioned that they closed it at midnight but didn't lock it. I wanted to go swimming. SG pointed out that we didn't have stuff to change into. I slurred on about how I didn't need no stinking swimsuit. Drinksky was all for it as was CL. GG went along with it and SG decided she'd at least come along for the walk. SC and Boyfriend told us to hold on and they would walk down with us. We left without them, lol. They ended up getting to the pool at the same time we did. Since SC knew where it was and my group was on the adventure of walking around until we found it.

We went in and Drinksky and I headed for the jacuzzi. It was on and bubbling. The water was too damn hot especially since it was still in the high 80's to low 90's outside. (Thanks, Texas summer! ;)) So, we tested the pool water and it felt awesome. The "deep end" was actually in the middle of the pool and was a whopping 4 feet deep, lol. None of us were hammered and the Boyfriend was the sober driver (because we ALWAYS have one) and SC doesn't even drink alcohol.

I took of my socks, shoes, jewelry, put my cell in my shoes, took of my jeans and into the pool I went. Then, I remembered it would be a good idea to take my t-shirt off too, haha. So I took that off and tossed it to the side. My boyfriend laid it on the chair making sure to keep the wet shirt away from my dry jeans and shoes. That left me in my underwear, bra and a tank top that I had on under my t-shirt. Drinksky's drunk ass jumped in fully clothed and then remembered to take her pants off. We swam around a few minutes, trying to get SG to jump in. She doesn't do stuff like that normally at all. So, I left her alone about it and swam around with Drinksky. SG ended up jumping in fully clothed. CL pointed out that she was the only one with pants on in the pool and suggested she take them off. She didn't and only stayed in the pool for a few minutes because she was freaked out about getting caught. CL and GG ended up stripping down to their boxers and getting in the pool with Drinksky and I. They didn't stay in the pool for more than a few minutes either. Drinksky and I swam around and talked while everyone else sat on the lounge chairs talking. SC left to go grab a bunch of towels and then came back down. Some random people came into the pool area asking if we had seen their drunk friend who had some how gotten lost wandering around the apartment complex. We had seen someone wandering around on the other side so they took off to try and find their friend. (They did and it was the person we had seen wandering around.) Drinksky and I ended up talking about boobs (nothing abnormal there ;)) and some how she ended up fondling mine in the pool. Then we wanted some more drinks so we got out and wrapped up in the towels.

On the walk back to his apartment, SC joked that he hoped his girlfriend didn't wake up because he didn't want to have to explain why there were 3 drunk half naked girls wrapped in towels hanging out in the living room. She's cool as hell, though, so he would have explained and it would have been fine. He let us put our wet stuff in the dryer. I had an extra shirt (from my interview earlier in the day) in the trunk of my boyfriend's car. So I tossed my underwear into the trunk, put on my dry jeans and the shirt from interview and went back upstairs.

I got back up to the apartment and Drinksky was opening a beer in the kitchen. I poured another rum and coke and we both took a shot of rum while we were at it. SG had taken off her belt and laid it on the kitchen counter. Drinksky grabbed it and informed me it was time for my birthday spankings. GG, who was sitting in the living room with the boyfriend, CL and SC pointed out that it was birthday spanking time in a cheerful manner. I laughed and let Drinksky administer the birthday spankings. She was drunk, her aim sucked, she lost count, I have no clue how many I actually got but I know she got a few good hits in so it's all good.

After that, there was more talking and a lot of laughing while we waited for the stuff to dry. Around 5 AM or maybe 5:30 AM we ended up getting everything together and leaving SC's apartment to make the drive back home. He lives around 40 minutes away from where we all live. People passed out in the car on the drive back. I stayed awake because I wasn't sleepy. Just drunk and happy.

I haven't gone out much at all lately because I can't afford to. I do have friends that offer but I don't take them up on those offers very often because I refuse to let them pay for me to go out. When I can afford to, I go. If they're insistent, I might go. Usually, I say thank you and decline unless they want me to come to their house and hang out. I'm not going to let other people pay my way just so I can get out of the house. It's boring as shit sitting at home all the time but I don't feel right letting other people pay for me too often. My birthday however, that's totally fine. No one should ever pay for their own birthday celebration. ;)

It wasn't any super wild and crazy night. It was a lot of fun, though. The most fun I've had in a long time and definitely one of the best birthday's I've ever celebrated. It was a little odd not seeing my family for my birthday, to be honest. This was the first one that I was away from them for. I haven't seen them in almost a year, though. Maybe next year I'll be able to see them for my birthday. Or you know, maybe I can see them for Christmas this year. It was odd spending Christmas with my boyfriend and his family. They do things so much more differently than my family does but I digress.

I was going to post this yesterday but I ended up spending most of the day on the phone talking to my grandparents, a few friends and my dad. Cooking dinner. Hanging out with the Boyfriend and his mama. Listening to music and reading. Lounging outside on the back of my boyfriend's car looking at the stars. You know, nothing too productive but more relaxing than looking at a computer screen. ;)

Happy Monday!

Leave a comment, please? :)

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Saturday Secrets #3

If this doesn't auto-post, I blame the inter for failing. Or Blogger. Whatever.

Also, thanks to everyone who has submitted a secret to be posted here.
:) If you want to submit something, email it or leave your secret in
the comments.

Secret #1: I hate your beard. If I could shave it while you slept
without fear of harming you, I would do it.

Secret #2: I'm ashamed to admit this but sometimes when we fuck, I
fantasize about his hot older brother.

Secret #3: I hate the pot roast you make that you think is so delish.
It's DRY bitch!

Secret #4: It was me the melted jelly beans and gummy bears and poured
the mix into your shoes. I let her take the fall because she's such a

Secret #5: The smell of deodorant (most anyway) totally fucking turns
me the fuck on. Mmm yeah.

Secret #6: Everytime I've ever "accidentally" grazed your dick too
hard with my teeth it happened on purpose because I was mad at you.

Secret #7: you could do much better than me but I'll never tell.

Secret #8: you're too smart for me. I pretend to follow what you're
saying as I google the words so I can find their definitions just so I
can understand what the hell you are saying.

Secret #9: Watching you eat turns me on.

Secret #10: I will never forgive you for Baylynne 425.

Secret #11: I'm overweight yet I look at fat people with so much
disgust. I can't stand fat people.

Secret #12: My socks, bra, panties and make-up all have to match and
be color coordinated with my outfits. You dressing like such a slob
makes me so mad.

Secret #13: I still cry every time I hear "our song" even though it
has been 3 years since you moved on.

Thanks again to everyone who submitted a secret for me to post! :)
Also, not one of these is a secret of mine this week but a few belong
to good blog buddies. ;)

Happy Saturday!

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Damn old people!

Hearing someone say the following....

"Ugh, I hate old people!" Or anything like that, pisses me off.

I hate when people try to defend anything by saying, "but old people are all rude and cranky." Not all elderly people are rude and cranky. Just as many middle aged and young people are fucking rude, cranky and whiny, too. Also, you have no idea what a person you don't know has gone through in their life. You have no clue if they're normally that cranky or if they're having a bad day. You don't know that they're dog or favorite goldfish didn't die. You don't know that person or anything about them. Sure, that doesn't give them an excuse to be a dick to someone they don't even know but don't assume you know them, either. I also don't get why a stranger being rude to you will fuck up your whole day or half your day. Whatever. I get annoyed with rude people. I'm rather polite and rude people no matter what age piss me off. For about 1 minute or less and then I'm over it. If you choose to hold on to it and let yourself be in a bad mood over it, that's your choice to let a stranger you're not likely to see again have that kind of power of you.

I also HATE seeing and/or hearing people complain about old people just because they're *gasp* not young anymore. An elderly person in line at a store maybe taking too long to get their money or card ready to pay for their purchases. And older person walking too slowly in front of you when you can't move around them right away. Getting annoyed when you have to repeat what you're saying because they didn't hear what you said. Having to listen to a story several times over because they don't remember they told you already. We all know what kind of things I'm talking about so I won't list them all.

Sure, it can be annoying at times. So can any person of any age. I'm not talking about people who get annoyed once in a while because that's just part of life. I'm talking about the ones who constantly get annoyed every time or almost every time that kind of stuff happens just because the person is old and perhaps isn't as sharp or quick as they were when they were younger. The people who constantly moan, groan, roll their eyes and bitch about elderly people are the ones who really piss me off.

For those people? You're not going to be young forever. You won't hear, see, move, etc the way you do now forever. For that day when you're old and no longer hear as well, see as well, move as quickly, think as quickly and don't generally function as quickly as you do now? I hope plenty of people treat you shitty when you get older so you can see how it feels. And I hope your memory is good enough to remember that the shitty treatment you receive is only your dickish behavior coming back to bite you in your ass.


Happy Thursday, y'all. :)

Leave a comment please?

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

What does his shirt say?

I always think it's a bit silly when people say that t-shirts with sayings, slogans, etc on them are pointless.

"The way to spread awareness about a cause isn't by plastering it on a stupid t-shirt and wearing it around, no matter what the cause is."

I disagree. How many of you see a t-shirt and read what it says? I know that more often than not, I'm going to read what it says. More often than not, I end up shaking my head. Sometimes, I laugh. Sometimes, I get irritated and want to punch that person. Sometimes, even more rarely than all the rest, I smile huge and want to hug the person.

Think it's a silly, stupid, pointless thing to do if you want. People read shirts. And if it says something interesting enough, silly enough, offensive enough, etc? People start conversations on what they see. Or, even if it doesn't lead to a conversation, it might make someone think.

And even if it doesn't do either, I'm all for standing up for what you believe in. If you want to do that by putting your view on a t-shirt and walking around, go for it. Just be prepared to deal with any consequences you may face doing so.

Sir Ian McKellen has some words of wisdom. Well, the t-shirt he's rocking does anyway. I also want the shirt he's wearing. Not the exact shirt but you get what I'm saying.

You don't have to like it.

You don't have to agree with it.

You don't have to go out and befriend a gay person.

Tolerance. Try it.
Happy Wednesday!

Leave a comment please? :)

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Happy Birthday to me...

Happy Birthday to me! I'm a quarter of a century old today. It sounds old when you say it that way, lol. 25 isn't old, not in my opinion anyway.

My boyfriend's got jury duty all day and then work until midnight or later. This is my first birthday away from my parents and siblings so that's kind of odd but it's fine. :)

Panda Dementia is taking me bowling some time today, though. She didn't so much ask as tell me she was going to take me out to do something for my birthday. Not that I was going to argue about getting out of the house for something other than a job interview, lol.

Speaking of..... I have a job interview today, lol. Yep, another one. I don't know how many I've been on lately, I've lost count. Hopefully soon I can post about going to work instead of going on my hundredth interview. *fingers crossed*

I thought it would be fun to post a baby picture of myself to go with my birthday post. Then I realized I don't have any baby pictures of myself. I didn't think of this until a little while ago so it's a bit too late to e-mail my mom about sending me something to use, lol. Maybe I'll post a baby Ashly picture sometime soon. :)

I found one but it's tiny and not very good, lol. It'll do for this post however. ;)

Happy Tuesday!!!!!!

Leave a comment, please? :D

Monday, June 14, 2010

Fucking fuckery...

My birthday is tomorrow. My boyfriend's off on Friday nights so he says he'll take me out to dinner then to celebrate. I don't mind waiting a few days. I told him it wasn't a big deal and not to worry about it but he and my friends disagreed and said we could do something Friday night.

That picture over there on the left? That was taken at maybe 2 AM? I felt tired and looked tired but I also felt hyper and kind of spazzy. The black strings aren't strings or a necklaces. Those be the cords to my iPod headphones. I think I was jamming some Avantasia or Nightwish. Something of that nature.

I posted a lot of stuff on my Tumblr last night while I was bored and waiting for my laundry to get done. I love that website. 

Tonight is GAME 6 in the Calder Cup Finals. If my Texas Stars lose, that's it. Hershey will win and be the Calder Cup Champions. I don't want that so... Go Stars! After the Calder is over, no more hockey until Fall. 

At least I still have baseball. I just don't love that as much as I love hockey.

I have a job interview today. It's a 2nd interview with a place I interviewed last week. I'm so tired of interviews and 2nd interviews and still not having a job. So frustrating. Plus, I'm broke and I'm getting to a point where I won't be able to afford to keep going all over the place for interviews. Something please work out soon, thanks. 

The bedroom smells like popcorn right now. I don't care much for popcorn. We don't even have any in the house, anyway. It's been months since someone last made popcorn. *shrug*

That's all the rambling for today. Anyone do anything fun or interesting this weekend? I hope y'all have a great day today. 

Happy Monday!

Comment, anyone?

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Saturday Secrets #2

Saturday Secrets time! If you don't know what this is, go check here. If you want to submit a secret that I'll anonymously post here next Saturday, email it to me (amorousrocker [at] gmail) or you can leave a comment here anonymously. Just say that it's for a Secrets post and I will copy what you leave and not publish the comment. (I have comment moderation on. Again.)

Saturday Secrets #2

This is strange to admit really, but I've always felt the want and desire to dominate a woman. the hole shebang whips chains cuffs her wearing rubber. it would make me happy but when I think about it I don't think the domination would go past the light bondage stage really. as I'm not that big into pain myself. it would just be nice to have the option to progress beyond said level. when it was done and dusted to I'd take her out and treat her like a princess buying her whatever her heart desired. and then take her home and help relax and stuff as I'd have to be in a relationship with said woman I've never mentioned this to any exes as I've always felt strange mentioning the subject. My deep dark desires are written now.

I met someone, and I want to leave him for her. That's right, a woman. Oh, the things I'd do to her... Things that would make him jealous because I never did care for oral with him.

I only liked you because you reminded me of him and I was still in love with him. Now, you're in love with my and I'm going to have to break your heart by ending things. I'm finally over him and the fact that you remind me so much of him bugs me.

I love rubbing it in your face that she left you for me. It's so petty and a part of me feels like a jackass for doing it because I know it's wrong but part of me loves it and loves how good it feels.

That night you had a party and we all got drunk and people slept everywhere? I got to sleep in the room next to your bedroom. I heard you and him fucking and it was kinda loud. I wanked off listening to him fuck you and pretended it was me fucking you while I wanked.

I'm about to graduate college with a Master's Degree. I have been at my current job for 3 years. It makes me great money and I love working there. It has nothing to do with the field I have been studying for 8 years. I don't want to leave my job. Not because I think I'll fail in my field of choice but because the only reason I got my Master's was to prove to my parents that I could because they didn't believe in me.

I idolize my older sister. She's despises me and says she wishes I were never born because she wanted to be an only child. I'm 16 and she is 24. I know she's a nasty person to me but to the rest of the world she's wonderful. I wish I could only see the negative crap in her so that I wouldn't look up to her. I want to hate her the way she hates me.

I love Harry Potter. I wish a world like that existed for real. I would live there.

He thinks I get so into phone sex. I do it for him but I'm only pretending. I'm usually watching a movie or reading a magazine when we're "having phone sex." I just can't get into it and don't enjoy masturbating but he gets off on it so I do it for him.

I am struggling so hard but no one knows. I cry so much but I don't do it in front of anyone and don't tell anyone how much I cry. I feel miserable most of the time but I don't tell anyone and I don't let it show. I'm only really me when I'm by myself. I'm going out and seeing people less and less because it's getting too hard to keep pretending. I know I need help but I can't afford to get it and I'm not brave enough either.

I got so bored during sex with you that I started thinking about what I needed to get done in Farmville and other Facebook games that I play.

Happy Saturday!

Leave a comment, please?

Friday, June 11, 2010

Picture show! & other stuff...

My birthday is in 4 more days. :) Hooray for turning 25 and insurance rates lowering a few bucks. Lol.

I was on Twitter and decided there were a couple people I wanted to go unfollow because they just cause a bunch of drama and start petty bullshit. I enjoy their blog posts but following them on Twitter? Not so much. So I got started and ended up finding more people to unfollow. I had 5 in mind and ended up unfollowing 83 people, lol. I doubt most of them will notice and I don't particularly care one way or another. I'm just happy to clean my timeline up a little bit. :)

My hair has gotten so long! I usually keep it shoulder length or a bit shorter. It's several inches below my shoulders now. I like it but with this heat and the lack of air conditioning, it's driving me crazy and I'm thinking I'll take a pair of scissors to it sooner or later. Probably sooner. Just to trim a few inches off of it. Even though I trimmed a couple inches off just a couple weeks ago. This picture is after I trimmed it up. Click it to big it.

I was waiting for my job interview to start on Wednesday and noticed this sign hanging.

I just giggled and had to snap a picture of it and share. I love things that are suggestive without being necessarily dirty. I posted it to my Twitter account and was amused by how amused some people were by it. The sign was hanging above to hallway that leads back to the restrooms. Which amused me more.

Now to share some stuff I posted on my Tumblr, because there are some awesome pictures on there but not many people check it out. :) I didn't take these pictures. I just find them and post them. Unless I say otherwise, it's not my photography on there. Just stuff I like or like the looks of. ;)

Ducks are one of my favorite animals. Th
is Mandarin duck is SO FUCKING PRETTY.

This one is from a beach in California. I love the beach and the ocean. I found this picture particularly striking but I'm not sure why.

Next? The Chicago Blackhawks beat the Philadelphia Flyers Wednesday night to win the Stanley Cup. They're the champions this year so congratulations to them. This picture? Some celebrating going on with Toews and Kane.

And since I posted some hockey players, I'll finish the picture show with a picture of the design of a t-shirt I so want. I hope this store still has these for a long time because once I am working again and have the money to spend, I want to buy this shirt.

There are some awesome hockey related shirts on this website. I posted more of the designs I really liked on my Tumblr. Actually, I want so many of them but that one? One of my favorites. LOL xD

Happy Friday!


Wednesday, June 9, 2010

When flirting becomes harassment.

I was in a store on Monday, minding my own business waiting in the long line to make my tampon purchase when a guy (that wasn't in line) walks up to me and says, "Excuse me but what time is it?" I smiled and told him the time after checking it on my cell phone. He smiled and replied, "Wrong. It's Starbucks time. May I buy you some coffee once we're done here?"

I told him that I had a boyfriend but thanked him for the offer anyway. He sighed and replied, "Dammit. There must be no single women left in the world because that's the exact response I always get, if I don't just get ignored." He wasn't upset. He was still being polite and cheerful.

I chuckled and told him I really did have a boyfriend and I also told him that I don't drink coffee in the middle of the afternoon when it's almost 100 degrees outside. He laughed and said I wasn't the girl for him if I didn't like a nice hot cup of coffee in the middle of the day. I just laughed and didn't say anything else. He thanked me for not being rude and then told me good luck in life before smiling one more time and walking out of the store, without having purchased anything, lol.

That was my interesting event that happened Monday. I must say, I've had plenty of people use ridiculous pick-up lines before. I get some guys think they work, some guys know how cheesy they are but use them as an ice breaking opener, some use them to try and be funny; there are tons of reasons behind them. They never worked on me, though. I was always more impressed by someone just walking up and saying hello and asking how my day was going or something like that. Anyway, this dude gets points for being the first guy out of many to use that line on me. I've never had even a similar line used on me before. I suspect it's one he probably uses when he sees the opportunity but still, it was new to me.

I know some women get offended by random men walking up and flirting with them but as long as they're nice, I don't mind it. It's a nice little confidence boost or it's good for an amusing story and a chuckle later on. I don't mind guys whistling at me as I walk by either as long as they're just whistling at me and not trying to follow me anywhere.

If they're obnoxious about it? Hell now. Some time last weekend, I was out walking about and went into a book store. I had a guy see me walk by and he called out to me. I didn't know him, I didn't stop. He got mad that I didn't stop and followed me into the store, caught up with me and wanted to let me know he had been trying to get my attention and that it was "fucked up" to not stop and talk to him. I let him know I wasn't interested but that didn't matter. I don't have to stand there and listen to some random stranger talk if I don't want to and I won't. Which I told him. A security guard had been paying attention and interrupted when the dude started getting louder because I had pissed him off by telling him off. He asked me if I knew the guy, I said I had never seen him before and he followed me into the store. He told the security guy he had just wanted to say hello but I had been rude, blah blah blah. Security guard told him to leave me alone or the police would be called. He mumbled out an apology and took off out of the store.

I was in a club once last year with my boyfriend and had to go use the restroom, which was on the other side of the building and upstairs. I headed to the elevator because the stairs were roped off for some reason, I think because some were broken but I can't remember, it was too long ago. Anyway, I had a guy try to hit on me while I stood waiting for the elevator to come so I could go up and do my business. This guy was sitting at a table by the elevator with a friend. He was probably 6'2" and around 250+ pounds, so he had me on both counts there. He was being obnoxious, belligerent and when I denied his rude advances that were more like commands, he verbally threatened me because I wouldn't come over and talk to him. As soon as he stood up out of his chair telling me I'd be sorry if I didn't bring my little ass over there to talk to him, I headed back off in the direction of my boyfriend. Whom was pissed as fuck and escorted me back to the elevator. The guy that had been hitting on me/threatening me started to say something until he saw my boyfriend standing with me and then he shut up and turned away from us. My boyfriend (at 6'8" and 300 pounds) can be a rather imposing man. Plus with his shaggy hair and beard plus the general scowl he wears when he's pissed off and wants to knock someone through a wall, he just doesn't look like someone to be messed with. We came back downstairs and decided to go out on the patio out back so my boyfriend could smoke. This dude actually followed us out there and tried to keep talking to me but he was much nicer and not at all obnoxious this time. Which turned into him very nicely spilling out an apology about how he didn't want to flirt on me, he had just wanted to say hello and see how my night was going and he's sorry if he freaked me out because that's not what he meant to do. You don't tell someone you're going to make them sorry for not coming over to talk to you. You don't tell someone you don't give a fuck if they're not interested, bring their ass over anyway. The shit he said to me and the way he said it, you don't talk to people like that period. Had my boyfriend not been there, I doubt I would have gotten that "apology" which was just his way of making sure he didn't get his ass kicked I'm guessing. I haven't been to a club since that incident and not because of that but more so because I can't afford to go to clubs, lol. Also, I don't like dealing with that kind of bullshit so I'm not going to anymore. The only time I go to clubs is when my boyfriend goes with me anyway. That's not for protective purposes, either. That's because I don't have many female friends to go dancing with and I'm more of a bar person anyway. I digress.

My point is, when people act like that guy at the club and the guy at the book store, I don't like that because that's not flirting. That's harassing someone. Following someone into a store because they didn't want to talk to you is ridiculous. That dude's behavior in the club was ridiculous. Acting that way isn't necessary. Sometimes simple flirtation can cross the line into harassment, too. It doesn't always start as harassment. It's ironic because I have people tell me I shouldn't say anything negative because if I let them hit on me, no matter how obnoxious or wrong the way they're going about it is, they'll get tired of me not being interested and move on. I should just smile, be polite and let them say whatever they want. Um, no. I'm not rude to them. I politely yet very firmly let them know whatever it is I want to say. You can be nice and polite and still be firm in what you're saying. I don't believe in lying or making up some bullshit and I'm damn sure not going to stand there smiling at someone who is harassing me either. I'm a very blunt and straight forward person and that holds true in these types of situations.

The majority of the time, guys will just move on. Sometimes, not so much and those are the times that piss me off. I still don't act foolish, though. I don't start yelling or cussing at them. I don't start trash talking or belittling them in any way because that's not the way to go. No sense in helping a bad situation get worse and that's all acting like that does. Don't tolerate it either, though. No one has the right to talk to someone that way or act that way towards someone. If someone if making you uncomfortable, don't take it from them because that's just showing them that it's okay. I have a hard time with stuff like this because I'm such a strong willed person and I tend to forget not everyone is like me. If something bothers me, I'm saying so. I'm not afraid of consequences and for that I have people that worry about me being "reckless" because they think I don't maintain a delicate enough balance to keep myself out of trouble. I do a pretty good job I think. I've got a lot of common sense and for such a temperamental person, I'm really rather level headed when I need to be.

There's a line between flirting and harassing and I think in some ways, it can be subjective based on how a person feels about certain things. Someone on Twitter was annoyed with me for being amused over Starbucks Time Guy because she felt he was harassing me. She also felt my being amused and taking his goofy flirtation in a positive way was damaging. I didn't take it as harassment at all. I know some people who agree with that person, however. That's fine and people are free to feel the way they want to about certain things. I think when a person is making unwanted advances after you've let them know you're not interested in them is harassment. Being verbally abusive and/or verbally threatening or physically abusive is harassment. Crossing physically boundaries when you've been told not to is harassment. Carrying on in any manner that's offensive or makes the person uncomfortable after you've been told to stop or been told you're making them uncomfortable is harassment. Striking up a conversation with a stranger using a cheesy pick up line, though? To me, that's not being harassed.

This post ended up WAY longer than I had intended it to be. I actually only meant to write about the Starbucks time guy and call it a day but obviously, my fingers and my mind had other plans. So sorry it's a lot of rambling and not more articulately put together as I didn't intend to write about all of this. Please feel free to share any thoughts or opinions you have, I'd love to hear them. I just ask that you please be respectful. :)

Happy Wednesday!

Please leave a comment? :)

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Saturday Secrets

First... thank you to everyone who commented on yesterday's post about the anti-gay and anti-premarital sex protesting. :) There were some really great comments there. Also...

MY BIRTHDAY IS IN 10 DAYS! I don't know why I'm excited since my boyfriend will be at work all night, I don't have money to do anything, I won't see my family since they live in California and it falls on a Tuesday so most of my friends will probably have work anyway. Hey, maybe I'll get lucky and one of the dozen interviews I've gone on in the last two weeks will result in a job by then. I'd be down for working on my birthday if I can get hired somewhere. If not, I'll probably cook myself dinner and watch some movies.


Some of these secrets are mine. Not many of them are but a few belong to me. Most of them belong to readers and a few friends. I solicited some help for this because I thought it would be fun. Plus, if my secrets are the only ones here, they're not really secrets. ;) Do you have a secret you want to get off your chest? Email it to me amorousrocker (at) gmail (dot) com. Or, you can comment anonymously here for me to use in another post. I have comment moderation on and you can comment under "anonymous" so even I won't know who's admitting to what. ;) If you do it that way, just comment and let me know it's for a later Secrets post. I already have a drafted post started for a second one of these posts. I won't publish the comment if you do submit that way and it will just be used for a future Secrets post.

On to the secrets...

I never wear sandals or peep toe heels even though I would love to wear some of both because I'm afraid of people seeing my toes. They look like normal toes but I think that's such an ugly body part. I hate people seeing mine and I get grossed out seeing other people's.

Things have to get better and soon. All this stress is starting to break me down. I can't handle being on such an emotional roller coaster like I have been lately. It hurts and I'm feeling lost. Both things I hate. I keep telling myself to be positive and I try. It just gets harder every day.

We used to be so in love. We used to be so happy together. Now we hardly spend any time together. Now I find myself wishing I had someone else who could appreciate me more. Someone who would still want to spend time with me doing nothing at all. I still love you so fucking much, I don't want it to be over. I can't keep going on like this with you.

I've cried 9 of the last 14 days. That is an improvement on 12 of the previous 14 days.

I miss you, even though I shouldn't. I lay in bed at night with him, but I'm thinking about you and wondering if you're thinking about me. He deserves better than that but I'm too afraid to be alone.

I fantasize about fucking famous men when you're inside of me. You don't know how many times I've been *thisss close* to calling out a different name during intercourse before.

I hate the music you listen to. I've only pretended to love it the last 5 1/2 years because I wanted us to have more things in common. I'm a fraud and you have shitty taste in music!

Your cock isn't really bigger than average, no you're not really that good in bed, yes I fantasize about other men, sometimes I fantasize about women and NO that isn't normal and it doesn't happen to everyone.

I pretend to get along with your mother to make you happy. Truthfully? I CAN'T STAND HER. She is a pretentious, rude, bitchy, judgmental idiot.

I'm smarter than you but your mother thinks I'm an idiot. One day I feel like I'll snap and shove my SAT scores in her dimwitted face.

I used your toothbrush as a dildo. Then put it back. Without washing it. I hope it tasted funny when you used it the next morning, selfish little bitch.

I sat through your ballet performance just to get in your pants. Then regretted it and kicked myself for wasting those 4 hours.

If he walked in and told me he wanted to be with me, I'd leave you. If he walked in and told me he wanted to fuck me, I'd cheat on you. If I weren't so afraid to be alone, I'd tell you to go fuck yourself and walk away forever.

You know that slice of pie that was in the refrigerator with your name on it? I ate it. It tasted so good. And even better because you broke a plate the next day because someone ate your pie. Revenge through gluttony, yummy.

I hit you in the balls and said it was an accident. It wasn't. I was pissed and wanted to hurt you.

I peed in a cup and poured about a tablespoon of it into your applesauce before dumping the rest outside. It took all my self control not to laugh my ass off as you took a bite and grimaced but continued to eat it anyway.

Happy Saturday!!!!!!

Leave a comment, please? ;)

Friday, June 4, 2010

Anti-Gay Group Rally...

Y'all no doubt know of the one group of people from Kansas that like to protest military funerals and spew their anti-gay bullshit and all kinds of other ridiculous stuff. The Westboro blah blah blah people?

They were protesting premarital sex and homosexuality outside of a high school in Oregon. Lately, they're targeting the Oregon/Vancouver area. Half of dozen or so of these protesters from this "church" were met by a much larger group of people that showed up to protest them. Half a dozen or so of them versus 200+ people countering their protest. HELL FUCKING YES.

I couldn't find a way to embed this video on my blog but click the link and go watch it.

I couldn't help but smile as I watched that video and saw all of those people showing up to counter protest against those clowns. The West people ended up leaving after a short time ending their protest early. Maybe because they were seriously out numbered? Perhaps.

Those people are ridiculous. I don't care if they want to believe the way they do, that's fine and all on them but the way they get their messages out and try to shove it down people's throats? Not cool. I don't have to agree with what they believe anymore than they have to believe what I do and that's fine. I'm all for diversity and I'm cool with multiple points of view on things. I don't expect the world to agree on everything. I think their methods are pathetic, though. They're nothing more than a hate group, in my opinion. They can call what they're doing whatever they want but their method is hateful and doesn't do anything to help the cause they think they're working towards.

What are y'alls thoughts?

Happy Friday!!!!!!!

Leave a comment please? :)

Thursday, June 3, 2010


I am : never sure if I'm stronger than I know or just stronger than most people think.

I think : far too much sometimes and not enough other times.

I know : that I am a good and caring person, even when other people fail to see that.

I want : to feel like I belong to something worthwhile.

I have : so much to learn still.

I wish : that I would get a job soon. Come on, people!

I hate : disappointing myself.

I miss : being worry free.

I fear : never making anything of myself.

I feel : isolated, lately.

I hear : the true meaning behind your words.

I smell : fear.

I crave : knowledge.

I search : for answers and perception.

I wonder : if people see me as I see me.

I regret : nothing.

I love : my family and my boyfriend more than they all know.

I ache : for things I used to think I'd never want.

I am not : who many people assume I am.

I believe : things happen for a reason.

I dance : when I'm happy.

I sing : because I love to, because it makes my feel better, feel free.

I cry : rarely and rarely in front of anyone.

I don't always : let my feelings out.

I fight : fiercely, especially when it's something I believe in.

I write : to clear my mind.

I win : some and lose some, but I always look to things as learning experience.

I lose : myself in thought a lot of the time.

I never : mean to let my temper go so easily.

I always : try to find a balance between cynicism and optimism.

I confuse : myself, sometimes.

I listen : more than people think I do.

I can usually be found : with music in my ears and too many thought running through my mind.

I am scared : of some rather silly things.

I need : a job.

Happy Thursday!

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Take two...

I want to say thank you to everyone that commented on yesterday's blog post. I totally didn't expect that kind of debate to start up based on that post. Kind of crazy, lol.

I do want to respond to the people who felt I over-reacted. I simply, straightforwardly asked the guy to call me by my name and not call me sweetie. I don't feel it's appropriate or professional for a manager to interview a potential employee and behave the way he did. It's not professional to leer at one's breasts and ask questions about what's on the shirt because you can't quite tell with the way I'm sitting. It's not professional to sniff me and tell me that I smell good as we sit down to begin the interview. It's not professional to tell me that my hair is pretty and shiny in the middle of you asking me if I'm married or have a boyfriend. It's also not appropriate or professional to even be asking me if I have a husband or boyfriend during an interview. It's not okay to ask me one work related question and then spend the rest of the "interview" trying to find out things about me under the pretense that you feel you need to "get to know the kind of person" you're potentially about to hire. If I'm in a relationship, have children, like a certain type of music or have pretty hair isn't relevant to if I'm going to be able to do the job well or not. Not that he would know anyone since he asked one job related question and didn't care much for discussing work. He explained uniforms, told me what my hours would be and was quite ready to hire me, assuming I would definitely take the job despite his ridiculously inappropriate behavior. Him calling me sweetie wasn't okay. Him getting mad because I asked him to use my name and not call me a pet name was ridiculous. I badly need a job but not enough that I'm willing to put up with that kind of bullshit to get and keep a job. I will not deal with that kind of crap and won't apologize for that either.

For those who made comments or questions about how he might have been testing me to see how I deal with assholes in case it was a job in a strip club or sex industry? It wasn't that. I have nothing against anyone who strips, works as a prostitute or any other kind of sex worker. That type of work is not for me. I couldn't do it. So no, the job wasn't for that. It's actually a rather family friendly place so he wasn't testing me to see how I deal with anything, he was just being an unprofessional, inappropriate asshole.

For those who commented that I was overreacting and was too dramatic? I said a sentence. It's not too much to ask that a potential boss who I've just met call me by my first name. I wasn't irrational. I was very direct and matter of fact about it. Overreacting would have been if I picked the file folder off the table and slapped him across the face with it and told him to stop staring at my tits and stop sniffing me. Overreacting would have been cussing and screaming at him. I did not overreact and I'm happy with how I handled it. I can respect that some of you are going to continue to disagree with that and that's fine if you that's what you want top continue to believe.

I know a lot of people deal with things like that. They grin or just shrug off remarks and actions like that. You shouldn't. No one should have to deal with a smug dude acting like he can say and do what he wants because they're in a higher position of power than you are. There are boundaries and lines and not all of them have to be crossed physically. You can cross lines and boundaries with words and with actions that don't put you in direct contact with another person. In a business, the management staff should act professionally. I don't care if it's food service, Sears, a furniture store, a bar, a bank, a dollar store or a super huge corporation. There are things that aren't appropriate to do and they should maintain a certain level of professionalism.

Moving on from that I have another thing to rant about. Coming to a blog and attacking other bloggers in the comments section or trash talking other bloggers in the comments section is immature and also not appropriate. It's petty and rude. Especially if the post has NOTHING to do with that blogger or set of bloggers. You have issues with someone? Fine, I don't care. Go take it up with them in private but don't do it on my blog when I'm not even talking about them. I don't get the need to publicly go after people you dislike. Ignore them if they bother you that badly. If you really have issues and you want them to be heard, grow a pair and go tell them on their blog or in an e-mail. Or, start your own fucking blog and bitch away.

Happy Tuesday!

Leave a comment, please?