Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Take two...

I want to say thank you to everyone that commented on yesterday's blog post. I totally didn't expect that kind of debate to start up based on that post. Kind of crazy, lol.

I do want to respond to the people who felt I over-reacted. I simply, straightforwardly asked the guy to call me by my name and not call me sweetie. I don't feel it's appropriate or professional for a manager to interview a potential employee and behave the way he did. It's not professional to leer at one's breasts and ask questions about what's on the shirt because you can't quite tell with the way I'm sitting. It's not professional to sniff me and tell me that I smell good as we sit down to begin the interview. It's not professional to tell me that my hair is pretty and shiny in the middle of you asking me if I'm married or have a boyfriend. It's also not appropriate or professional to even be asking me if I have a husband or boyfriend during an interview. It's not okay to ask me one work related question and then spend the rest of the "interview" trying to find out things about me under the pretense that you feel you need to "get to know the kind of person" you're potentially about to hire. If I'm in a relationship, have children, like a certain type of music or have pretty hair isn't relevant to if I'm going to be able to do the job well or not. Not that he would know anyone since he asked one job related question and didn't care much for discussing work. He explained uniforms, told me what my hours would be and was quite ready to hire me, assuming I would definitely take the job despite his ridiculously inappropriate behavior. Him calling me sweetie wasn't okay. Him getting mad because I asked him to use my name and not call me a pet name was ridiculous. I badly need a job but not enough that I'm willing to put up with that kind of bullshit to get and keep a job. I will not deal with that kind of crap and won't apologize for that either.

For those who made comments or questions about how he might have been testing me to see how I deal with assholes in case it was a job in a strip club or sex industry? It wasn't that. I have nothing against anyone who strips, works as a prostitute or any other kind of sex worker. That type of work is not for me. I couldn't do it. So no, the job wasn't for that. It's actually a rather family friendly place so he wasn't testing me to see how I deal with anything, he was just being an unprofessional, inappropriate asshole.

For those who commented that I was overreacting and was too dramatic? I said a sentence. It's not too much to ask that a potential boss who I've just met call me by my first name. I wasn't irrational. I was very direct and matter of fact about it. Overreacting would have been if I picked the file folder off the table and slapped him across the face with it and told him to stop staring at my tits and stop sniffing me. Overreacting would have been cussing and screaming at him. I did not overreact and I'm happy with how I handled it. I can respect that some of you are going to continue to disagree with that and that's fine if you that's what you want top continue to believe.

I know a lot of people deal with things like that. They grin or just shrug off remarks and actions like that. You shouldn't. No one should have to deal with a smug dude acting like he can say and do what he wants because they're in a higher position of power than you are. There are boundaries and lines and not all of them have to be crossed physically. You can cross lines and boundaries with words and with actions that don't put you in direct contact with another person. In a business, the management staff should act professionally. I don't care if it's food service, Sears, a furniture store, a bar, a bank, a dollar store or a super huge corporation. There are things that aren't appropriate to do and they should maintain a certain level of professionalism.

Moving on from that I have another thing to rant about. Coming to a blog and attacking other bloggers in the comments section or trash talking other bloggers in the comments section is immature and also not appropriate. It's petty and rude. Especially if the post has NOTHING to do with that blogger or set of bloggers. You have issues with someone? Fine, I don't care. Go take it up with them in private but don't do it on my blog when I'm not even talking about them. I don't get the need to publicly go after people you dislike. Ignore them if they bother you that badly. If you really have issues and you want them to be heard, grow a pair and go tell them on their blog or in an e-mail. Or, start your own fucking blog and bitch away.

Happy Tuesday!

Leave a comment, please?


Genevieve said...

You are absolutely right about boundaries. Creepy interview guy should know them, especially being in a management position. I scanned thru the other post/comments
kinda quick, but someone commented about leaving word with HR about how he acted during during your meeting. Good idea. Even if you weren't officially offered the job and it happened a little while ago you could call and say that it's been bothering you and you felt you needed to bring it to someone's attention.

I hope you find work real soon.

Charlene said...

I'm happy I missed all that drama. I suppose we open ourselves up to whatever people want to say, but all that back and forth and personal attacks to other commenters is not helpful!

Potential employers do not have the right to ask ANYTHING that is not jermaine to the job being discussed.

As to calling a person "Sweetie", that's a put down. It says, "I don't think you're important enough to remember your name." You were brave to call it to his attention.

Wanting to know if you're married or have a boyfriend is nosy at the least and scoping out the possible availability for sex at the worst.

The interviewer has low self-esteem and needs to push you down more than you already are, wanting the job. If an employer is doing this before you take the job, it would not be a good work place.

PandaDementia said...

Amen to all of that! <3

Osbasso said...

Damn, you are articulate! Well said on all counts!

BTW--not only were some of his questions unprofessional and inappropriate, they were also unlawful to ask! Federal law is pretty clear about what sorts of questions can or can't be asked.

frances said...

holy cow! I can't believ you had to deal with that in an interview. Congrats on standing up for yourself. What a strong woman you are. Rock on! Good luck on the job search. :-)

Resident A-Hole said...

Congrats on standing up for yourself, the guy sounded like nothing more than a fucking pig. Did you overreact? Not at all. For someone to call you that in the process of an interview is simply an immature, pompous, egotistical comment made by a person who knows they are in a position of power. For you to call him on it was awesome, and even though it didn't result in you getting a job, I'm sure you feel much better about it than if you would have caved and gone along with it, gotten the job and have to deal with all the obvious bullshit that would have followed. Chin up, you WILL get a job, of that I have no doubt.

Florida Dom said...

I agree that what happened to you is against the law. You should contact and attorney. I'm serious about this. You have a slam dunk case. People have to speak up to stop this stuff. Decades ago, my wife was told point blank that she wasn't going to be hired because she would flirt with the staff because she was young and good looking. See Mad Men for a profile of those days. But times have changed for the better. An interview can no longer do things loike that. Get an attorney on the phone now.


Sexy Sixty said...

In my comment yesterday I raised the question about the type of job you were applying for. I don't know much about you other than what I know from Twitter -- for example, I know you are a hockey fan -- so no offense was intended.

I agree with everything you said about inappropriate interview behavior and find myself aghast that anyone would sniff you, ask about boyfriends, or stare at your chest.

Good luck finding a job!

Maggie said...

Wow, went back and read the comments and...wow. Sometimes one of the worst things about sexual harassment is the jerks who don't see anything wrong with it (like some of those commenters).

Tragic said...

Ash I think all those negative comments were the same person; same damn language, same grammar, same feel and tone, in any case -- if her self esteem is so horrible that she'd allow herself to be insulted and degraded like that then let her have all the skeezy bosses she wants, you have self respect and dignity and you deserve far more.

Annnnyhow, stay positive. I have faith in you. I know you're gonna get hired soon ♥

Britni TheVadgeWig said...

You're right. SO MANY boundaries were crossed. In fact, it's illegal to ask about your relationship status and such in an interview, isn't it?

And the shitstorm that went down on Twitter-- that was just a crazy bitch being a crazy bitch.

ilikebs said...

No one should be willing to or want to work for a boss like that. The next thing you know, they're slapping you on the ass as you walk by to tell you that "you're doing a great job!" and claiming that's fine because baseball players do it. Men like that have control problems. You were correct in telling him to address you by your name and not otherwise. You are also correct in waiting for a job that has a boss that will treat you with respect. You deserve that. Something better will come along.

Johnny Rat said...

So what did the shirt say?