MY BIRTHDAY IS IN 10 DAYS! I don't know why I'm excited since my boyfriend will be at work all night, I don't have money to do anything, I won't see my family since they live in California and it falls on a Tuesday so most of my friends will probably have work anyway. Hey, maybe I'll get lucky and one of the dozen interviews I've gone on in the last two weeks will result in a job by then. I'd be down for working on my birthday if I can get hired somewhere. If not, I'll probably cook myself dinner and watch some movies.
Some of these secrets are mine. Not many of them are but a few belong to me. Most of them belong to readers and a few friends. I solicited some help for this because I thought it would be fun. Plus, if my secrets are the only ones here, they're not really secrets. ;) Do you have a secret you want to get off your chest? Email it to me amorousrocker (at) gmail (dot) com. Or, you can comment anonymously here for me to use in another post. I have comment moderation on and you can comment under "anonymous" so even I won't know who's admitting to what. ;) If you do it that way, just comment and let me know it's for a later Secrets post. I already have a drafted post started for a second one of these posts. I won't publish the comment if you do submit that way and it will just be used for a future Secrets post.
On to the secrets...
I never wear sandals or peep toe heels even though I would love to wear some of both because I'm afraid of people seeing my toes. They look like normal toes but I think that's such an ugly body part. I hate people seeing mine and I get grossed out seeing other people's.
Things have to get better and soon. All this stress is starting to break me down. I can't handle being on such an emotional roller coaster like I have been lately. It hurts and I'm feeling lost. Both things I hate. I keep telling myself to be positive and I try. It just gets harder every day.
We used to be so in love. We used to be so happy together. Now we hardly spend any time together. Now I find myself wishing I had someone else who could appreciate me more. Someone who would still want to spend time with me doing nothing at all. I still love you so fucking much, I don't want it to be over. I can't keep going on like this with you.
I've cried 9 of the last 14 days. That is an improvement on 12 of the previous 14 days.
I miss you, even though I shouldn't. I lay in bed at night with him, but I'm thinking about you and wondering if you're thinking about me. He deserves better than that but I'm too afraid to be alone.
I fantasize about fucking famous men when you're inside of me. You don't know how many times I've been *thisss close* to calling out a different name during intercourse before.
I hate the music you listen to. I've only pretended to love it the last 5 1/2 years because I wanted us to have more things in common. I'm a fraud and you have shitty taste in music!
Your cock isn't really bigger than average, no you're not really that good in bed, yes I fantasize about other men, sometimes I fantasize about women and NO that isn't normal and it doesn't happen to everyone.
I pretend to get along with your mother to make you happy. Truthfully? I CAN'T STAND HER. She is a pretentious, rude, bitchy, judgmental idiot.
I'm smarter than you but your mother thinks I'm an idiot. One day I feel like I'll snap and shove my SAT scores in her dimwitted face.
I used your toothbrush as a dildo. Then put it back. Without washing it. I hope it tasted funny when you used it the next morning, selfish little bitch.
I sat through your ballet performance just to get in your pants. Then regretted it and kicked myself for wasting those 4 hours.
If he walked in and told me he wanted to be with me, I'd leave you. If he walked in and told me he wanted to fuck me, I'd cheat on you. If I weren't so afraid to be alone, I'd tell you to go fuck yourself and walk away forever.
You know that slice of pie that was in the refrigerator with your name on it? I ate it. It tasted so good. And even better because you broke a plate the next day because someone ate your pie. Revenge through gluttony, yummy.
I hit you in the balls and said it was an accident. It wasn't. I was pissed and wanted to hurt you.
I peed in a cup and poured about a tablespoon of it into your applesauce before dumping the rest outside. It took all my self control not to laugh my ass off as you took a bite and grimaced but continued to eat it anyway.
Leave a comment, please? ;)