Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Flesh eating zombie vs the elite ninja pirates...

I was texting with a friend yesterday and he mentioned that I was becoming one of his favorite people. I asked why. His response was that I'm funny and I'm not a horrible flesh eating zombie. My response to that?

"Honestly, I'd rather be a ninja pirate hybrid over a zombie."

Of course, he wanted to know why I would pick that over a horrible, flesh eating terror of a zombie. No doubt, I would be smarter than your average zombie and would be a force to be reckoned with. I love zombies as much as the next zombie loving dude or chick. So don't think I'm hating on them or anything because I'm not. When it comes down to it though, if you stand a zombie in front of a ninja pirate hybrid to see who is killing who first? My money is not on the zombie.

Zombie's don't move that quickly. Ninjas are known for the quickly, fluid, stealthy skills. They have that over ninjas. They have speed and agility. Or at least, me as a ninja, has these things in my mind. So, I have the speed and the agility of a ninja. I also have all the badass martial arts ninja moves. Massive skills right there and that's before I even add in the badass weapons that ninjas have. I have have swords, throwing stars, all kinds of cool shit. Ninjas are also known for their honor however. Which is where the pirate needs to come into the mix with this. Now, pirates, aren't known for their high morals or strict code of ethic. Not happening. They also have a ship and all the rum. Given, too much rum might hinder some of that stealth and agility but I'm still part ninja and I'd have the self control not to over do things with the rum.

How can I not be a force to be reckoned with when I have the speed, agility, stealth, martial arts skills and badass weaponry combined with the lacking morals of a pirate who will do what is necessary in the name of self preservation? The ship is merely just a helpful perk because zombies can't swim. If they're a super zombie who does swim, well that's what the cannons and guns on said pirate ship are for. Blow a hole right in the fucking super swimming zombies and then what? That's right... nothing, no more, finished. Bitch.

As if you need any more reason to join me in my ninja pirate brigade let us not forget, pirates also get all the wenches and booty (and I'm not talking treasure there, guys and gals) where as a zombie just wants to nom on those wenches flesh for a meal.
So, I think it's clear to see why I could pick being a ninja pirate hybrid over being a flesh munching zombie.

Yeah, this is the kind of stuff I think of on a regular basis and these are the kinds of conversations I have on a fairly regular basis. It's fun to contemplate these things. Also, it's always good to know what you would do if you ever find yourself in a strange situation. Who wants to spend a couple hours roaming around inside my head? *grin*

Happy Wednesday!


Anonymous said...


I would pay you money to stay inside your mind for a day if thats the kinda stuff going on in there omg lol.

This was FUNNY AS SHIT and just the thing I needed to turn my crap morning around so THANK YOU!


nitebyrd said...

Your theories are all very sound but my loyalty will always lie with zombies. They can be pretty damn tricky.

Check out this blog for further research and investigation ~

Tell 'em a Zombie Mommie sent you! ;)

Weekends Off said...

If you are forming a ninja pirate brigade sign me up! I have SO much ass around me that needs kicking and joining a brigade would make me feel all extra badass and that certainly can't hurt!

Anonymous said...

that is officially 20 times more than I have ever thought about zombies!

viemoira said...

A pirate ninja?! That's genius!

Amorous Rocker said...

Lol, awesome. I'd charge pretty heavy for that. Plus, you would have to sign a ton of waivers.
Thank you! Glad you enjoyed the post.

I'll def check that blog out. =)

Lol!! <3 If I ever do, I'll call you first. =)

Haha. ;)

Thank you! =)