Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Cracks in the crystal ball....

Hey y'all! Thanks so much for the comments and emails I got from yesterday's sex toy review. I appreciate it. I'm way behind on e-mails so it's going to take me several days to get caught up with everyone. =o)

I've got a little bit of an odd sense of humor. I'm a bit odd all the way around but whatever. People know this, they either like it or they don't. Or they think I'm just trying to shock people. Which isn't true. I don't give a shit about shocking people and trust me, if that's what I was trying for, I could totally do it way better. I don't give a shit about shock value though. I also don't tend to care if people believe what I say to be truth or not because hey, myself and those involved know what's up at the end of the day, so that's all that matters to me.

A lot of my friends are a little on the weird side too. Which leads us to having some fun conversations sometimes. I'm vry interested in the varying dynamics between people and groups. So, I like seeing what other people and their friends have in common, what they talk about, whatever.

Today, I'm posting excerpts I saved from online conversations between my real life friends and myself. They might not seem funny, amusing, interesting or anything like that to any of you but they amuse us so... =p Plus, I think it gives a slight look into the kind of awesome that resides in my friends.

* The EM: I so cannot wait for New Moon this weekend!

*Me: Anal sex > Twilight Saga. Just sayin'.

* The EM: That's.... disturbing.

* Me: And sexy.

* The EM: Definitely sexy.

* MetalGrl: If I showed up at your door wearing nothing but bubble wrap, what would you do with me? I mean bubble wrap only, no bra or panties or anything at all.

* Me:
Holy shit! That's a lot of bubble wrap. I would pop every single bubble on the bubble wrap.

* MetalGrl: ...... Are you serious?

* Me: Hell yes!

* MetalGrl: I'm only wearing bubble wrap, naked except for it!! And you're gonna pop all the bubbles first?

* Me: Again... HELL YES!

* MetalGrl: .......Wow.

* Me: What? I fucking love popping bubble wrap.


* Me: Yeah, well once I get done with my childish fun of popping all the bubbles and throw the deflated wrap away, you'll be even more naked and have no clothes to wear so you'll be stuck.

* MetalGrl: Haha you fucking suck.

* Me: I think in this instance that's a desirable trait in me.. ;)

* MetalGrl: ....Touche, touche my lovely

* Horror Guy: Just because I put the "boy" in "flamboyant" doesn't make me gay!

* Me: No, it's the "cock" in "I love sucking cock" that makes you gay!

* Horror Guy: Exactly! Gosh you get me so well! <3>

* Mr B-Rack: So far the thing that disturbs me most about fatherhood? The poopy diapers.

* Me: Just think, if you're a really awesome dad.... one day when you're 80, your kid will pay it back by having to change your poopy adult diaper. It all comes back around.

* Mr B-Rack: Where do you come up with this stuff??!

* Me: My mind is a wonderful, disturbing place.

* Mr B-Rack: I'm not contesting the disturbing part but I think your definition of wonderful might be a little bit off.

* Me: Poppycock.

* Mr B-Rack: ...... did you seriously just.... say poppycock?

* Me: Obviously! Maybe you need to scroll up and read it again? POPPYCOCK! POPPYCOCK! POPPYCOCK!

* Mr B-Rack: ROFL. When you do it so many times like that I thought it said "POOPY COCK" haha.

* Me: That's just sick.

* Miss Bridget Jones, Bitch: I thought it was love at first sight but it wasn't love and I am so over him.

* Me: Ahh... a whole two weeks later and you're not "in love" anymore? How tragic.

* Miss Bridget Jones, Bitch: Nope! No maam! Not one stinkin bit.

* Me: I see. What changed your mind?

* Miss Bridget Jones, Bitch: Well you know we met at a party and while I wasnt drunk or drinking and he wasnt drunk or drinking, I realized something had altered my mind, clouded my judgment you see. Something crazy that made me think it was love at first sight but indeed, it was not after all.

* Me: Mm hmm. Well you weren't drinking so you can't blame it on the beer goggles/tequila shot goggles this time. So again, what changed your mind? What terrible thing clouded your judgment and fucked up your mind?

* Miss Bridget Jones, Bitch: Well, it wasn't until we were in that one room about to fool around and fuck that I though I was in love.

* Me: Ah, lust goggles then? Horny goggles perhaps?

* Miss Bridget Jones, Bitch: Nope. He's-got-the-biggest-cock-I've-Ever-Seen-Goggles! Apparently it was love at first sight with his cock, not him in particular. Sadly, it won't be working out with the rest of him so I don't get to see his cock anymore.

This concludes today's peek into the conversations my friends and I have.

Happy Wednesday!


Emmy said...

I LOVE the way your mind works!
These conversations made me laugh!
Happy Wednesday!

BTExpress said...

LMAO, great conversations.

nitebyrd said...

Your mind is disturbingly wonderful. Absolutely, positively!

Bruce said...

The Bubble-Wrap story was hilarious......walking a fine line between child-like innocense and adult lust.

phairhead said...


Realiti said...

I so needed You are awesome!

Secretia said...

Those were fun. Do it again please!


moresexchocolateandredlipstick said...

Heehee, that really cheered me up - thank you :)

---Amy xxxx

autumn said...

Hahaha! I totally hear you on the bubble wrap. There is NO WAY I could resist popping the bubbles. I was ordering supplies and saw that I could buy a whole box of it. You have no idea how tempted I was! You make me laugh and I love your sense of humour.

rage said...

(laughing) Thank you for sharing.

Anonymous said...

I JUST LOLED my face off reading this. PLZ be my new best friend! :)

A_LAH from Twitter