Friday, September 11, 2009

An e-mail from a reader...

**REMEMBER: I want y'all to send me pictures! If you already have, thank you! I want to see trees, sunshine, lips, booze, boobs, pets, toys, rain, shoes, candy, random street signs, legs, bright colors, piercings, silly face shots, beaches, whatever you want to send me. Pervy isn't discouraged but isn't a must. Most of the pictures I have so far aren't pervy at all but they're all pretty awesome. On Monday, I will post a very image heavy post to show off all the pictures I have received. Go here to read all the details. Come on, it'll be fun!**

So, if you follow me on Twitter, you might have seen me bitching and laughing over an obnoxious piece of email I received yesterday in regard to my Physical Flaws post. I contemplated posting it and was encouraged to do so by quite a few people who wanted to see what the e-mail said thought it would be a good idea.

Here is the e-mail. I'm not going to edit it so deal with the grammar and misspelled words, lol.

"AMOROUS I have read your blog for several years and I enjoy a lot of what you put out there you are an open and honest person and I respect admire that. I have to say that when you talk about flaws and being insecure physically it pisses me off. I see you talk about on your post today about how you have flaws and have things you dont like about you and all I think is


SORRY but your post about your SO CALLED (BULLSHIT!!!) FLAWS REALLY set me off and put me a fire under my ass. You dont get how LUCKY you are to be a pretty girl and not have to deal with the PLIGHT of being UGLY. YOU JUST DONT GET IT! Im emal you HOPING you realize that you DONT HAVE JACKSHIT to cry about and Im ONLY saying this to HELP YOU.

MUST SUCK to be such pretty girl and have to cry about being upset and insecure over your ears nose butt and neck. GIVE ME A BREAK! Waaa waaa waaa! Go THRU LIFE being the UGLY girl that guys only want to be FRIENDS with and that PRETTY GIRLS LIKE YOU only hang out with because your smart and can help them keep their grades up. Have boys look at you like an alien or another guy but never see you as anything special.

GO THRU LIFE being the UGLY woman at work that the PRETTY WOMEN LIKE YOU only assosciate with because I will and can help them get there projects done. The UGLY woman who has to sit alone during lunch because all the pretty women have gone off WITHOUT INVITING the UGLY woman to go eat with them! Having to listen to them yammer on about their dates and their hook ups and seeings guys in the office flutter around after them because theyre pretty and then hearing those whiney whelps complain about their pathetic lives like they dont have it EASIER being pretty.Having guys in the office ignore you because youre UGLY. Having to openly glare at them day after day seeing there smug little faces as they laugh at me as I glare at them. There still PRETTY so what do they care that I know what they say and hate there being for it?? Doesnt hurt them at all!!!

You have NO CLUE how easy you have it!! Guys probably FLOCK to you. Buy you drinks. Offer you things! Give you the COMPLEMENT of coming over to say hell JUST BECAUSE they think your pretty. I NEVER get flirted with. You dont know what its like to be UGLY WOMAN in the room who works up the COURAGE make eye contact with a man ONLY to have him look up me up and down and DISMISS me beccause Im not pretty enough for them. Going on blind dates and seeing looks of DISAPPOINTMENT on there faces because they hoped for something MORE, someone PRETTIER than ME!


You whine and CRY about your PETTY INSIGNIFICENT LITTLE "FLAWS" but you really have NOTHING to be upset and whining about! YOUR THE PRETTY GIRL here and you whining and crying about these dumb little things just MAKE YOU LOOK STUPID AND IMMATURE! WAAA WAAA WAA! Save the pity party because you aint got NOTHING to be pitying yourself about!!!

-Sassy Lindsay"

I used to be insecure about my entire body. I was always bigger than other girls. Even as a little kid, I was taller than all the other girls. I had broader shoulders, bigger feet and I wasn't fat but I wasn't skinny and petite like all the other girls in school. I was a tomboy through and through. I played sports and I didn't get along with girls. I didn't identify with the things they liked. I didn't giggle and laugh at other people.

I hit puberty early and I hit it hard. I never even owned a training bra because I seemingly went from no boobs to big boobs. I was in 5Th grade and transferred from a private school to a public school a couple months into the first semester. I was taller, bigger and I had actual boobs. Of course, they started the rumors that I stuffed my bra. I played sports and had muscular legs, so I was a "lesbo" and I sat every single day at lunch by myself because I was awkward and didn't fit in.

I felt fat. I felt ugly. I felt disgusting and wrong. I had mostly guy friends and yeah, once I was full into puberty, I noticed different changes. The big boobs, the butt, the hips, the changes in my face. The fact that when I played football with my guy friends they weren't sure how to tackle me anymore so they often didn't.

Just because some people think I'm pretty doesn't mean everyone thinks that way. It also doesn't mean I get life handed to me on a silver platter.

It doesn't mean I've never been turned down by a guy or girl I liked. Through puberty, I was still a tomboy. I played softball and hockey. I did track and field. I did basketball. I'm still a tomboy for the most part honestly. Back then though, I had my family telling me what a pretty girl I was becoming. When I finally started digging guys, I had issues there because I was such a tomboy and guys always got to know me and I ended up being just friends. I was "too cool" and "too much like one of the guys" to be someone they wanted to date.

I've had guys and girls I like not be attracted to me. It happens. I've been called amazon because I have big feet and broad shoulders. I think I need those broad shoulders to help hold up these huge boobs, lol.
I don't let it get to me. There will be other people who will find me attractive and people who won't. I have an amazing guy in my life now so why worry about all the other guys and girls who turned me down or wouldn't give me a second look?

I don't care if my physical insecurities seem petty, silly, ridiculous, stupid and insignificant to other people. I don't care who thinks it's silly that I'm insecure about having my neck exposed, my ears out in plain view, my nose being too big and my forehead being too wide. Those are the things I'm insecure about and those things are things I'll have to get over on my own.

It has taken me years to be comfortable in my skin and accept as much as I have about myself. It has taken me years to not loathe every physical thing about me. It has taken me a lot of work to undo all the emotional damage I have done to myself. All the berating myself, thinking down on myself, calling myself names and emotionally and mentally beating myself up and tearing myself down day after day.
Everyone has something or several somethings that they're insecure about. Just because this person and other people look at me and see a pretty girl doesn't mean that's what I look at and see. If I could see myself and see me the way my boyfriend does, the way some of my close friends do, the way some of you do; I wouldn't have any insecurities. I'd have a much better self image. I can't do that though and I'm going to be insecure about things. I used to NEVER look in mirrors because I so hated everything I saw. I wouldn't even look in reflective glass because I couldn't stand the reflection. I have come a long way from where I used to be.

"Sassy Lindsay", I don't think you being physically ugly has anything at all to do with why the girls and guys in your life treat you the way they do. I think it's your ugly attitude. Maybe you're open disdain and hostility towards them because they're pretty has something to do with it. It may be your bitchy, bitter, ugly attitude that does you in and not the exterior. Guys might not pass you by if you were a bit nicer. Maybe if you stopped being so judgmental of others, they wouldn't be so judgmental of you. If you dropped that bitter, ugly chip off your shoulder you might be better off all around.

Have a good weekend y'all.


Alisha and Brett said...

When I read her email it sounds like someone who is obviously jealous.

I also think your response was perfect.

mina said...

Hmmm it is very obvious that she is holding a huge grudge about thinking she is physically ugly. I can certainly say her attitude is ugly too. Pretty is in the eye of the beholder, same with ugly. For every drop dead gorgeous girl out there, is a guy that got tired of her shit. We all have exes. I'm not ugly, but I'm not the prettiest girl in the room. My friends were always thinner and prettier. When we went out to clubs or bars, the men would always be hitting on them and buying them drinks.
I think it's ridiculous that she would get all psycho on your flaws HNT. Did she not see that many bloggers were talking about their flaws as well? Anyway.. whatever.. just some stupid stranger. Who cares? She'll always be lonely and it won't be because she's physically ugly.. she's just ugly as a person.

Samtagious! said...

I think she needs serious help, I agree it is not her looks that keeps people from responding or connecting with her--if she's that bitter and hateful to everyone then she's put herself on the empty alone path she's been walking.

The prettiest girls are still insecure, even the ones who know they're pretty, they always have something about themselves that they hate and I knew a pretty girl who had nearly the same issues as Sassy claims to have but my friend was alone because so-called *ugly* people shunned her or thought she was too pretty to be friends with, they called her a bitch when in reality she was horribly shy and they treated her like a leper because they perceived her as being pretty and she herself thought she was the ugliest thing that ever breathed.

Sassy obviously doesn't work in any human relations type field or she'd have a better sense of humanity and a decent set of manners. She also probably did not help anyone's grades given that her letter is not the type of thing that screams English Major, not to me anyhow.

Sassy I know you're reading this and I'm not attacking you really, I'm just sick and tired of people who are spiteful using their own self loathing to break down those they envy. Its not her fault she was born with the things that you always wanted and even though you think its *all that* did you ever think that beauty is different to every single person who looks at it?

I think Rocker is a hottie, most everyone who comes here does too but... maybe she has some issues of her own that she doesn't particularly care for? And maybe this blog helps her to come to terms with those things, share them in this open forum and perhaps when she tells us her issues she's trying to help us accept ours and also--maybe our reassurance is what she truly needs to accept herself as the truly beautiful person she is? Did you consider any of that before you attacked her from your own cold heart? Didn't think so. Maybe you should write a blog? Maybe you really should see a counselor.

Anyhow, I adore you rocker, you're one of the few who have seen me from my semi-early days out here, I think you even date back to my TragicGrrl days or thereabouts. You've always been super supportive of me in all that I do and I've always been proud to say that I know you because you are the kind of material that REAL role models are made of. I'd be proud of any of my daughters to turn out like you.

/end rant.

juliettia said...

Are you sure it wasn't my Mother In Law who sent this? Holy christ random caps and bolds and poor spelling.

Adriana said...

Hmm. I have to say that while her e-mail was rude and it's certainly not -your fault- that she's unhappy, I understand those feelings. It's sometimes so frustrating to hear people put themselves down or express their feelings about their flaws when you, in general, consider them better looking or more talented or whathaveyou. It's like, I'll take your flaws A and B to have your overall shape or whatever.

My husband has always, always been thinner than I am and is a small framed guy in general so when he put on maybe 15 - 20 pounds and complained about being fat, it made me feel horrible and I wanted to smack the shit out of him. The fact is, it's hard not to take it as an indirect insult or to understand where someone is coming from when they are where you want to be. It does breed resentment and maybe I'm not a great person because I'm not better than that but, well, I'm only human.

I do understand that everyone can pick out their flaws. You know, I'm sure even Heidi Klum (or someone comparable) has her "I just don't like how I look" days. I appreciate that a lot more since reading some of the posts on EdenCafe lately but I'd be lying if I said I felt like the emotional burden of being overweight was equal some that of, say, boobs being different sized or stretch marks. At the end of the day, fat is just not a flaw you can hide and it feels like every other flaw is judged more harshly because of it (even completely unrelated ones). I would be so presumptuous to say that is also makes it harder for me to hide from mentally. There's a bit of paranoia with the territory and I know that goes for any flaw; we all judge ourselves more harshly than others do but there definitely is more of an "anti-fat" attitude in our society than an "anti-differently sized boobs" attitude. However, I know that attacking you or anyone certainly doesn't help to fight any negative attitude.

So to wrap it up, I'd still do you, flaws and all.

Anonymous said...

ADRIANA:: FAT IS SOMETHING YOU CAN DO SOMETHING ABOUT! Get off your ass, diet, exercise, do right and lose the weight that you dislike so much! You cannot change a uneven breasts yet you CAN change being fat. You CHOOSE to not do anything about that weight. Blame society for not being accepting , you do it to yourself by not kicking your rear-end into gear and doing something about it.

I apologize, Amorous, but that comment irritated me. I truly dislike overweight people who bitch and moan about how it is so terribly to be fat. It CAN be changed. I apologize for being harsh and will understand if you delete my comment.

As for the e-mail, it was rude. How disgusting of her to take her personal insecurities and unhappiness out on you. Good on you for being able to come to terms and be happy in your skin. Cheers!!

Britni TheVadgeWig said...

Before I even got to the signature of the email, my thought was, "This is someone that has felt ugly their whole life and thinks AR is beautiful (which you are) taking out their frustrations on her."

It would be like me sending an email to Gisele Bundchen (sp?) after she claimed her thighs were too big. If you see someone that *you* find flawless bitching about this/that/the other, you don't get it.

HOWEVER, that doesn't excuse the email at all. I got angry and had to stop reading halfway through. Whether you're a "pretty" girl or not, that doesn't mean you don't have insecurities. In fact, most of the "prettiest" (i.e. most made up, blonde, "ideal") girls are trying to compensate for insecurities of some sort.

You're entitled to have them. The same way I post photos and list somehting I'm insecure about while others think I'm nuts.

That reader can go suck my left nut. I'm sorry she doesn't think highly enough of herself, but that's no reason to take it out on you.

Britni TheVadgeWig said...

ADRIANA:: FAT IS SOMETHING YOU CAN DO SOMETHING ABOUT! Get off your ass, diet, exercise, do right and lose the weight that you dislike so much! You cannot change a uneven breasts yet you CAN change being fat. You CHOOSE to not do anything about that weight.

HEY ANONYMOUS: You're a perfect example of why I stopped letting comments like you on my blog!

NOT EVERYONE CAN DO SOMETHING ABOUT THEIR WEIGHT. There are some people that, no matter what they eat, how they exercise, and what they do, will never be "thin." Or even "average." And that's fine. Everyone's body is different. Thin does not equal pretty the same way that thin does not equal healthy.

Beauty is subjective and many people find fat to be hot. And you can tell nothing about someone's health by their weight, so really, fat isn't really an "issue." However, NOT EVERYONE *can* diet and exercise to "do something" about their weight.

And technically you *can* do something about uneven breasts the same way you can do something about being fat. It's called plastic surgery. Implants? Lipsuction? Both fix the "problems" you referred to.

But just as Juliana's comment irritated you, yours irritated me. Try being an overweight person who, due to genetics or medical issues, CANNOT lose the weight and then tell me that it *can* be changed.

And please, if you're going to leave a comment, have the balls to at least leave a name. Only cowards post (especially criticism) anonymously.

Adriana said...

(Ignoring the fact that anonymous has no idea whether or not I am doing anything..) Honestly, following the same logic - you CAN change an uneven breast. Many flaws can be fixed with a little plastic surgery but I think that's a shitty attitude to take; it's harmful to tell everyone to go cutting themselves up. I never said that it's all society's fault but a little acceptance or maybe even a "chill pill" goes a long way and I think both the e-mailer and the anonymous commenter proved that.

I appreciate reading about how others seem themselves. It really shows that, on some levels, people are more alike than they realize and it can do a lot for a cohesive society (at least, I'd hope so). I think the original flaws post exemplified that wonderfully.

Anonymous said...

You bloggers are all ridiculous! Because you have a blog and an online persona makes you not anonymous? I do not have a blog I just happen to enjoy reading them. Would it make me less anonymous if I signed my name at the end of my comment? I have no website to link to so how is it being a coward? My name is Collin. Now you have a name and nothing more with it. Does it make me less anonymous? Only in fact that you know the name I gave you which is barely more than you knew. I will not post my name, age or any other information when I choose to leave a comment on a blog I very much enjoy.

I refuse to believe that there is absolutely nothing to be done about being fat. Diet and exercise, living a healthy lifestyle does wonders. A medical condition would be the only exception to that. I know all bodies are different. The way some people are built will never allow them to be thin no matter what they eat or how much they exercise. Noted and understood. However, when in Adriana's case she was speaking of how hard it is to hide her fat to feel better of herself. The truth is, you cannot hide or cover up fat, as she stated. Aside from medical illness, you can lose weight. I do not hate fat people. I dislike fat people who talk about their burden when they have no medical illness calling them to keep weight on. Their burden is one they could take care of. Through diet and exercise of even plastic surgery. Not everyone can afford surgery but same goes for the logic of using surgery to fix lopsided breasts.

Ro said...

I hope you're not letting this get to you.

No matter how wrong or stupid it may seem to others, most people have particular features they feel awkward about or plain dislike. As in your case (and, just possibly, my own) it may have nothing to do with the actual features themselves; rather, it's to do with the reaction that those features have inspired in the past, often as far back as childhood.

Because of the linked memories, it can become impossible to see oneself objectively.

I should, perhaps, stop at this point rather than resorting to something that might be taken as a personal insult. However ...

I couldn't help wondering about one particular sentence in the email: "Go THRU LIFE being the UGLY girl that guys only want to be FRIENDS with and that PRETTY GIRLS LIKE YOU only hang out with because your smart and can help them keep their grades up."

Is she really talking about herself? Is this further proof, then, that people just don't take care when writing emails?

I'm forwarding this email to the International English Standards Board. ;-)

Thanks for sharing!

Another Suburban Mom said...

Well you said it all better than I could. Good for you.

And Sassy Lindsay if you are reading this, I hope that you take AR's advice to heart.

phairhead said...

Amen AR!

Sassy Lindsey needs some self-reflection and a therapist.

rage said...

sweet jeebus

Laken said...

You're exactly right. Looks have nothing to do with why this girl can't get a guy.

Also, it's ridiculous that she attacked you like that. We all have things we don't like about ourselves; including super models who think their thighs are too fat.

The Peach Tart said...

I am shock at the email from an obviously unhappy and bitter woman. As far as anonymous, I always get the meanest snarkiest comments from anonymous.

Morning Glory said...

Woooooooow. Blog Drama eh? Who needs a soap opera lol.

I find it funny that there are some people in our world who just don't get it. What one person finds beautiful/handsome, another person does not. I know numerous people who find me truly beautiful and I know numerous who find me very ugly.

That's the beauty of the world I think. There are so many different tastes out there.

I think it's rather sad that someone felt the need to email you (Amorous Rocker) and bitch you out about how you felt about what you feel are flaws. Isn't that how flaws work anyway? They're something the owner feels is wrong with themselves.

Example: I hate that I have chub now around my midsection (and before that starts Anon on bitching ME out lol - Im just too fucking lazy to do anything about it but I also dont bitch and complain about it) but my husband loves it AND it actually makes me look healthier. I hate this really annoying part of my hair (it's a small patch at hair line that actually breaks off and only grows an inch or two and then breaks off again). But I know a few people who actually think it's cute.

What I'm trying to get at - I'm sorry someone thought there was a need to email you. I'm also sorry you had to read an email from someone who doesn't have even a little understanding of the English language (I know I have poor spelling and grammer sometimes but WOW that was hard to read). I hope you do not take it to heart and can shrug it off.

Sure some people are going to be jealous of you, of anyone. It's how the world work. The grass is always greener on the other side. Isn't that how it works?

Oh, and for "Sassy Lindsay", when all those boys flock to you in High School, you begin to get a reputation as a slut. So be happy you didn't have that reputation. That would have destroyed you even more because then the boys would start to flock to you, but to use you for sex, not to have a relationship with you. And that isn't how you want to live your life.

autumn said... I am sending this comment from the blueberry AR. Sounds like Sassy lindsay is feeling very sorry for herself and has decided since you were talkingt about flaws, she would tell you it could be worse. Are you serious Sassy? You honestly think that pretty girls won't hang with not-so-pretty girls? Only use them for smarts? That's rather close minded if you ask me. I suppose she would consider me a pretty girl who shouldn't complain. Question! Have you walked in the shoes of others so much miss Sassy that it gives you all the answers? Everyone is different and unique. Just because others perceive beauty, doesn't always mean we feel it on the inside. I have more to say AR but will do it tonight from my computer. I've lost what myplace on this tiny screen. AR you fucking ROCK!!

13messages said...

I can so relate to being the girl who the guys only wanted to be friends with. I never dated in high school. Never. My first boyfriend was in college and it was still more of a friend thing. I always thought I was ugly. It took many years for me to get past that. I still have moments of it. I also have more male friends than female. And still when I go out with my best friends I'm not the one who gets the drinks bought for her or the one who gets flirted with. Does that do things to the ego? I've never been that girl. I'm pretty shy actually so very quiet in situations like that. Men aren't drawn to that when out for fun. Get to know me and I'm better. ;) It took me a long time to understand that too.

Throughout my life I'm come to realize that beauty is so much more than how a person looks. The prettiest/most handsome person in the world can actually be damned ugly. A person's attitude goes a long way in making them beautiful. A person who thinks they are the ugliest person in the world can be very beautiful and people drawn to them. I've seen it both ways.

As for the weight issue. If you are comfortable with yourself that comes across. I've seen some "big" girls who I thought were absolutely gorgeous. I've been on the overweight end before. Could still be considered so by some. Its not fun and its HARD to make that change. I'm still working on it. I'm not working on it b/c others think I'm fat. I'm working on it for MYSELF. If others don't like the way I look then they don't have to look. ;) It took me a long time to come to that as well.

None of us are perfect. Not even the "pretty" people. We all have something that we hate about ourselves. All of us. We have insecurities and self perceived "flaws." Its human nature.

Having said all that I am incredibly lucky in that I have a wonderful husband who thinks I'm beautiful and tells me so daily. For that I am infinitely grateful. Maybe one day I'll believe him. ;)

I hope this made sense. I've got 3 kids vying for my attention right now and it makes it difficult to express my thoughts clearly. LOL

AR, I think you are absolutely beautiful.

Sassy, as others have said you aren't ugly b/c of how you look. You ugly comes from within and sadly that's harder to fix.

Mrs. 13

ravenquince said...

Whether you're AR who feels self-conscious about her ears, or Adriana because she's got a few extra pounds, it always makes me sad when people expose their vulnerabilities and are directly attacked for having them. Some compassion would go a long way in this world to understand that everyone has their own demons, visible or not.

Joker_SATX said...

I find your confidence and your wisdom and understanding......attractive.

Richard, Shhh... said...

Holy FUCK, Amorous! What a firestorm! Something this big could only have started in TEXAS!!! Most of my reactions have been expressed already so let me add my UNIQUE take as a guy who has his own insecurities left from a mean stepmother's inaccurate comment decades ago!

That woman said things that were because of HER problems, not mine! But, Hell, I was only 13-14 years old and a well-behaved, obedient child who thought parents were Gods and knew/did everything right. She sowed the seed that still plagues me altho I'm enjoying occasionally finding out, apparently, enuf girls see me as attractive (especially since I recently figured out low testosterone added to my bodyfat & fixed that).

The woman who would NOT let me call her "Mom," because it would make her seem 10 years older than she was, told me ONE comment only ONE time but it kept my ego UNDERinflated for 30+ years! "You're not so PRETTY, you know!" (I mean that is SO improper in a NUMBER of ways, and I was trying so hard to be good & be liked.) At least, it made me not conceited about my looks.

But throughout my life, it made me work harder than I should have, settle for less than I should have, and not have much of the fun I should have. Looks are not as important for guys so I could live with, apparently, being ugly. But LABELS are still important (& looks too, to a lesser extent.) THANK GOD for a few good-looking women over the years who were not too shy to call me "Cutie" or "Handsome" and have me start to revise the recording playing inside my head. And HNT has encouraged me to lose a lotta fat/weight & show off a little & get even MORE positive feedback to turn down the volume on that old recording.

What we say to each other DOES make a difference -- for Good or for Evil! ;-)

Emmy said...

It's unfortunate that Sassy Lindsay had to take out her own issues on you. If she stopped being so self-absorbed, she may have noticed what yesterday was all about on all of the blogs - self-acceptance.

It was interesting to see how she thought that email would have an impact on you - other than an entertainment one - as it screamed "I blame everyone else for my problems!"

Jormengrund said...

Obviously, your emailer doesn't get the fact that this was personally percieved flaws..

In your mind's eye, you showed the flaws you yourself think need change.

To someone else, those flaws could be considered perfection, but it's all in the eye of the beholder, really.

Personally, I know I'm better off in build and posture than others that I know. Yet I can always find something about myself that I'd like to change.

We, as owners of our bodies, are much harder on our percieved flaws than other people can be. Thus, you see flaws where others just see YOU.

Give her a bit of a break. Obviously jealousy is just one of her CHARACTER flaws, and she'll get over it eventually!

Osbasso said...


Anonymous said...

hmm I'm gonna agree with sassy lindsay. Though honestly, if she were ugly, I wouldn't even want to be friends with her. Now I'm not talking homely or plain, I mean physically painful to look at for long. But I also agree with Rocker saying that its also her personality. Not the grudge against pretty people that is pretty obvious, but that she doesn't seem very intelligent, original, or anything at all noteworthy. I don't mind her having a grudge, but I do mind her being a unattractive (instead of cute and fuzzy) sheep

BTExpress said...

Sassy Lindsey's personally, lack of confidence and shitty attitude is what drives people away, not her looks.

Some of the ugliest people I've ever seen have a partner and some the best looking people I've ever seen don't. Maybe if she looked inside herself and fixed those things, people would want to be around her and get to know her. Once that happens, she'll get all the boy friends she can handle.

nitebyrd said...

Holy Crap! Ms. Lindsay needs to get a grip!

I don't care how "beautiful" you might be, according to society, you will have insecurities. The ability to overcome those insecurities and to learn to make the most of what you've got is what will make someone really beautiful. Their spirit and willingness to enjoy, not only themselves but others as well, will bring more that superficial "beauty" to a person.

Ms. Lindsay needs to look inside her self to find the cause of her ugliness, not berate you. Until she does, she will never have any beauty physical or spiritual.

Nolens Volens said...

All I have to do is say something specific to Lindsay and Collin and they would NEVER let it go after that. LOL You know what? Let it go. They are, to put it mildly and sadly, not happy people who feel the need to act like that. Oh! I promised you hate mail...lemme compose one for you. Hehe

dittohead said...

Sassy email made me giggle.

What sucks also is wanting to put on weight and not being able to... that may just be a gender thing though

vixen kitten said...

Damn, Sugar, I'm gone a couple of weeks because of computer problems and I come back to a whole mess of blogland drama!

Seriously, some people need to get lives! If you don't like what someone said, click the little red X at the upper right hand corner of the computer screen. No one really gives a hairy white rat's ass about your whining and bitching.

I once lived next door to a woman who was far from what most people would see as pretty. She was well over 250 pounds. Men flocked to her! Her heart and her words were beautiful, and made those around her feel beautiful. She had to turn men down on a daily basis. People were just naturally drawn to her, because of the way she made them feel when they were around her.

I think AR has pegged this dead on. NO ONE wants to be around someone with an ugly attitude. always make me smile! That's why I love you so much.


Missy said...

Way to put her in her place! What the HELL? She needs a total attitude adjustment. You are beautiful, and I loved this post.

Wilhelmina said...

excellent response.

holy fuck @ the email. she seems extremely paranoid and angry to me, and you're right, that probably is more why people avoid her than her looks.

standards of beauty are different everywhere. which is why i can sit here and look at my thighs and think they're thick and ugly when other people think they're voluptuous and sexy. and everyone has insecurities. maybe they appear small to other people, but to the person experiencing them they are still very real, and still significantly effect their life. no one has the right to judge somebody based on that. even if everyone else thinks you're beautiful, if *you* don't, it doesn't really mean anything, does it?

Dharma said...

Wow -- bitter is so unattractive. Jealousy is unappealing. Insecurity is a turn-off. I know many an "unconventional beauty" who are found desirable and sexy for his/her personality/charm/wit/confidence.

I know a number of physically beautiful people who can't get a second glance because of their sour attitude, insufferable personality and/or over-inflated ego.

Sassy Lindsay, unfortunately, totally missed the boat when it came to ASM's challenge to the blogosphere to display our flaws and make ourselves vulnerable. I found the challenge to be about accepting who we are for what we are, how we look and what we have to work with.

How can we expect anyone else to find us attractive if we don't find a way to make peace with our appearance and learn to love ourselves, inside and out?

Sounds to me like Sassy Lindsay has spent a lot of time blaming other people for her short-comings, whether they be physical, emotional or material. Of everyone who participated, perhaps she could have gained more benefit from the exercise than anyone.

It's sad, really.

Eliot said...

The chick who wrote the e-mail is a cunt. End of story.

vanimp said...

Yano some people can be ugly on the inside a hell of alot worse than what they seem on the outside. I don't give a rats ass what she looks like but her words show how much ugly small mindedness there is in there. And yano people who have the balls to write and share a part of themselves through blogging are brave people, it takes courage to be transparent and open. AR for what it's worth ... awesome reply hunni. Self acceptance is not something many can do 100% ... fookin kudos to each and every person who did so last week. xxx

Barefoot Dreamer said...

Your response would have been mine too. She is obviously ugly do to how she acts. I am nice to all who come into my life. My friends are not tall and attractive - rather nice and genuine. I am afraid she is making herself ugly.

Now, are you still accepting pics? Email me (I trust it will be a kind email ;) )

Vixen said...

Jealous much? SHEESH!

*shaking head*

Hugs hon......

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