Monday, August 17, 2009

The tears of snow-white sorrow...

DISCLAIMER: I am going to apologize now before I get started. I am going to talk about our trip Thursday & Friday. I am tired as hell though so it won't be the most articulate re-cap. I am basically just going to ramble and go with it which means it's going to be long and might not make sense in parts. For that, I apologize. I'm worn the hell out but more so, I'm mentally worn out from too much thinking and too much going on in my head. On top of the physically being worn out, the lack of sleep as of late and the fact that I'm tired as hell but can't sleep. Which reminds me, I FUCKING HATE when you're dragging ass and nodding off because you're drained and tired. Then you finally get to crawl off to your room, like some kind of zombie, only to lay down in bed and then BINGO BANGO MOTHERFUCKER! You find yourself wide awake. You were about to pass out walking through the kitchen to get to your bedroom but a mere two minutes later, you're laying in your warm comfortable bed and sleep decides it wants to elude you and laugh in your face about. I digress though. If you want to skip the rambling, at least check out the music video. Or come back tomorrow and take part in the "How Important Is Sex Or Lack Of To You In A Serious Relationship" post.

So, The Future Cup... Well, I'll just call him The Cop from now on since we went to his graduation Friday and he's officially a police officer now, lol. Anyway, we got there Thursday evening and we weren't the last people to show up. He lives two and a half hours away from were we all live now but that's because he moved there to go to the police academy. TC had Boyfriend, myself and four other friends that came down Thursday to hang out. His parents and sister got there Thursday as well but they stayed in a hotel. He only has a small three bedroom house and his family opted to stay at a hotel. So the six friends stayed at TC's house. One of the girls stayed in TC's room since they were on and off again forever though haven't been on in a long time. He actually just ended a relationship with the girl he was getting ready to propose to but that's not a story I'll be sharing here. Let me just say, that ended up not working out and he's recently single now and that girl has moved on out. The other girl stayed in the computer room/office. Boyfriend and I took the guest bedroom and the other two guys took the couches in the living room. Thursday night, we got there, I got the little tour of the house since I had yet to be there and then we had to go to Wal-Mart for a pump to air up the air mattress the girl in the computer room was going to sleep on. We also got a substantial amount of beer while there. We got back, aired up the air mattress and proceeded to the garage. They set up the beer pong table. I HATE beer pong and refused to play. I sat and drank beer while watching them play and chatting with everyone. His parents and older sister dropped by in the middle of the beer pong to drop some stuff off and say hello to everyone. They didn't stay long. I had fun watching them play beer pong and chatting with everyone. I drank more beer than they did too, lol. I decided to take a shower that night because everyone else was figuring out who was going to shower when in the morning. One shower and seven people vying for it in the morning? No thanks! I hardly slept that night because the room was hot and I was afraid of breaking the bed. It was old and not very stable and it moved around a little too much with Boyfriend and I just laying there. I slept maybe 3 hours total and then was up early in the AM Friday. Boyfriend didn't sleep much either. And no, we didn't have sex. Not because we didn't want to and not because we had any problem doing it in his friends house with a bunch of people there. TC made the room next to his the office because he wanted a room separating him from the guest room. He said he didn't want to hear Boyfriend and I going at it when we visit, lol. Not to worry though because it was hot as fuck in there because the AC wasn't working and also, the bed not being very stable was an issue. I've broken a few headboards before but we're talking a whole bed frame here that gets wobbly just from tossing and turning a little in it. I did not want to break that bed frame, thanks. Neither of us have the money to be replacing a bed frame so we passed on having any fun. The floor wouldn't have worked either because there wasn't enough floor space in there to work with. My boyfriend's 6'8" and not super skinny or scrawny. He isn't flexible either so we need some room to work, lol. Anyway, we got up Friday, got dressed and went in search of breakfast. We got food, got back to TC's house and waited on everyone to be ready. We took off at 10 AM to head to the college. The graduation ceremony was actually really good. The guest speaker they had was an instructor/officer that has been in law enforcement quite some time. His speech was so damn inspiring. It was a little humorous here and there. It was serious too and at parts, it got emotional. I don't cry easy at all. I don't ever cry during speeches because generally they're so rehearsed, lacking heart and not very emotional. It's like watching a bad actor a lot of the time. This guy had so much pride in what he's accomplished. He spoke of things he's seen with such reverence, so genuine and heartfelt. His words on his career, his goals, things he has seen and endured were so real. I felt sadness, sorrow and pain when he spoke of people he had lost and things that broke his heart to see in his line of work. I felt the emotions he was conveying in his words and stories. I didn't cry but my eyes did water up for a brief second while he talked of how heartbreaking it is to pick up abused children and how much restraint it takes to simply arrest the parent/guardian who abused them. How much control it took to resist smashing their head into a wall instead of simply handcuffing them and sitting them down in the back of a car. I realized in that moment that I wouldn't ever have what it takes to do that man's job. I know that doing it long enough, seeing enough abuse, would be more than I could handle. I doubt I would stay a good person being faced with so much wrong and evil in the world.
I gained a bit of respect for that man that I had never met. I'll never see him again but I'll remember the speech he gave. I'll remember how inspired I felt listening to him. They had one of the graduates speak as well. He read a poem and talked about experiences, life, his kids, the training they went through and the kind of bonds they formed. I think it was a good experience for me. I felt inspired. I felt motivated. I also thawed out a little towards law enforcement. A lot of cops are fucking dicks and they're fucking dicks just because they can be; they suck balls and good cops hate those guys. There are some good ones out there though and they're not all assholes with badges. I know TC is going to do well. I had the most fun watching him. How nervous he was at first. Then as the speeches began, how proud he seemed. Watching him nod his head in agreement and understanding and fighting back tears as well.

Anyway. After the graduation ceremony, a hundred pictures were taken. Then it was back to TC's house. His parents had made a big thing of queso dip and brought several bags of tortilla chips. They also made home made brownies and then several different kinds of cookies. As well as supplied plenty of drinks and 10 pizzas. There were 20+ people there to hang out. TC had to leave at 2 pm to go to work, lol. He didn't have to do much. Just got to check out the new jail and do some other stuff with his other graduates. He was back just after 5 PM and out of his police uniform not much later. We hung out there until after 9 PM. TC wanted Boyfriend and I to stay another night and then leave some time Saturday. The girl he went on and off again with forever, whom we will call CG, was staying all weekend. The other girl was just a friend of CG's whom I will call Scary Bitch. The two guys had left earlier in the afternoon before TC had to go back to the police station for work. TC very bluntly asked Scary Bitch when she was going to go back home but she didn't really answer. She had said she wasn't really there for TC, she was mainly there to see CG because CG and her are best friends and it had been three weeks since they had seen each other. CG just moved several hours away from Dallas because of family stuff she was helping with. Scary Bitch is obsessive over CG but that's another creeptastic story for another date and time. Scary Bitch is one of those annoying people who knows everything about everything and likes to talk out her ass constantly. She's also pretentious and rude. Obsessive and over-protective of CG. Finally by Friday evening, I had had enough of her. Boyfriend, myself, TC, CG and Scary Bitch were outside hanging out while TC and Boyfriend worked on TC's truck. I went inside to take some allergy medicine and then went to the bathroom. Then I cooled down a bit in front of the fan. I spent around 10 minutes in the house and then Scary Bitch was inside, wanting to know what I was doing and why. She made a comment and I said that TC didn't care if I was in there so she shouldn't worry about it and just mind her business. I then walked out before she could say anything. She didn't say another word to me the next couple hours we were there, thankfully. TC asked SB when she was going to leave and she clearly wasn't going as long as CG was there because she just had to spend as much time with her BFF as she could. Even though she was only going to have to go a week without seeing her since once they left and went their ways, SB would be going to visit CG for a week. Then SB will be moving to where CG now lives because yeah, she can't handle not living in the same city as CG. Anyway, I could totally see that Scary Bitch and I would be clashing horribly if I had to spend much more time around her which wouldn't have been good. So, we passed on staying another night and took off. Which is cool, we're hanging out with TC next weekend. He's got the weekend off so he's coming back up to Dallas to see family and friends. We made plans to hang out with him and a chick he's dating, should be fun. I haven't met the chick yet but at least TC's always amusing to be around.

ANYWAY. Enough about that, lol. On to the music!

Near June's end, I posted a Nightwish video before for musical Monday. I talked about the change in singers and how I prefer Anette O over the previous singer. I didn't say anything about the rest of the band though and the video I posted might have been a little confusing since in some scenes, it's all girls playing and in other scenes it's guys playing and the girl singing. The scenes in that video were there was the girl singing and all the guys playing instruments and doing back up vocals was the band. They have a chick singer but they're not an all chick band. A few people I chatted with after that in June gave me a hard time about liking the band because it was just a lot of hot chicks rocking out. Which isn't accurate at all since it's one chick singing and four dudes rocking. Though given the video, the confusion is totally valid, lol. I don't think Anette is ugly by any means but I don't base my like and dislike of bands based on how any one member looks. I couldn't give a shit less if any person in a band is good looking or not. I care about the music. =) Anyway, today I'm posting another Nightwish song that I just fucking love.
"Caress the one
The never-fading rain in your heart
The tears of snow-white sorrow
Caress the one, the hiding Amaranth
In a land of the daybreak

Reaching, searching for something untouched
Hearing voices of the never-fading calling"

Happy Monday!


Sexy PTA Mom said...

That does sound like an exhausting weekend, with plenty of highs and lows. I had to laugh at your description of the bed situation. My husband is only 6'5" and fairly thin, so I can't imagine how you two do it! Sorry you had to hang out with SB, but at least she isn't a hometown companion, right? You guys sound like great friends!! And thanks for sharing the music video. That is good stuff! And a brand new introduction for me. I will be checking them out more once I get a little free time.

TUG said...

Check the beginning of paragraph 2...Future Cup...LOL, gave me dirty thoughts.

I know you've mentioned the height difference between you and your boyfriend before, but I still have a hard time picturing it in my head.

I've been on beds like that before, they totally suck.

I'm looking forward to tomorrows post.

Bri said...

Ooooh how rude of that scary bitch!!! Can't stand people like that....makes things so uncomfortable and unpleasant for no reason at all.... Though I am glad to read that you are having/had all this time with your BF :) I know that makes you happy!!!

Anonymous said...

Got time for a nap? Like that'll happen, right?

Isn't an amaranth a type of flower?

rage said...

Wow, I can totally understand your frustration.

Get some sleep hon!

Another Suburban Mom said...

It sounds like a fun but tiring weekend. SB does not sound like any fun though, I am glad you got away from her while you could.