Thursday, February 12, 2009

Love sings, when it transcends the bad things....

I have been called a slut more than my fair share of times. Whore, skank, hoe, tramp, cock whore, cum dumpster and tons of other lamely crafted nicknames that all mean the same basic thing. Sometimes it's said jokingly, mildly with affection but mostly in jest. More often than not though, it's being said with the negativity that most people associate with those terms.

It's never really bothered me though because I don't think I'm a slut. Sometimes, it does piss me off if it's coming from some moron who can't argue properly and resorts to name calling. Or if the girl calling me a whore is someone who spends twice as much time on her back as I do with three times as many different people. Then shh, bitch please. Mostly though, it's just a stupid term, a silly little word, that means very little to me.

Tell me, who cares who I fuck or how many I fuck as long as I'm doing it safely? Why does it concern anyone else? The only people it should concern are the ones doing anything physical with me.

I have never cheated on anyone. I wouldn't ever cheat on someone. I don't cross boundaries. I don't deceive. I always made sure anyone I got physically involved understood what was going on and what I wanted. If what I wanted was something casual, I made it known. If I was hoping for me, I made it known. If I didn't want to go passed a certain activity point, it was known.

Does it make me a bad person because I like sex?

Does it make me a bad person because I've had sex with more than one person?

Does it make me a bad person because I like sex with both males and females?

No, I don't think it does.

Do I have low self esteem?

Do I have low self worth?

Do I lack self respect?

No, no and no again.

I don't have sex to make myself feel good about who I am. I don't use sex to get what I want. I don't use sex to make anyone do things I want them to do. I don't use it for power, control, advancement or manipulation. I don't use it to feel wanted, loved or needed. I don't do it to feel worthy of anything. I do it simply because I enjoy it.

Some people do it for those reasons. I don't think those are good reasons to have sex honestly but it's not my business if I'm not involved. I think it's shitty to use it as a form of control. I think it's shitty to use it to manipulate. I wish those who use it as a means of esteem or to feel loved could get what they're looking for another way because people are worth more than just that. Whatever works for them though.

Some people think you shouldn't fuck until you're married. Some people think if you fuck more than 3 people, you're a whore. Some think this. Some think that. It's about your own morals, beliefs and perspective on the subject.

I remember a couple weeks ago, they were talking sluts at work again. I asked, again, what made one a slut. Different people in this convo as opposed to the last time. The girl said anyone who had slept with more than 5 people was a slut. The guy said anything in double digits made one a slut. The guy asked how many people I had slept with. I responded, "Enought to make me a really big slut by y'alls standards." Which is true, by their standards and how they think of things. Which is fine for them. I don't happen to agree but I can respect what they want to think and believe in. We talked a few more minutes and then it was done bun can't be undone and over with.

I don't care if someone wants to fuck 50 people. I won't assume they're doing it for any one reason or another. That's their business and not mine honestly.

What I care about is people who don't do it safely. I care about that. I care about the fact that people spread sexual diseases and infections around like it's nothing just because they don't like how a condom feels and want to fuck around a lot. I care about chicks getting knocked up by guys they won't be with in 6 months. I care about kids bringing kids into this world when they can't take care of themselves. I care about grown people bringing 10 kids into this world when they can't take care of 2. I care about people not practicing sex safely. Nothing is 100% effective but to not use condoms because you don't like the feel? Give me a fucking break. To not use birth control because you're too lazy or too embarrassed to go get yourself on it? The money excuse doesn't work. There are plenty of places you can get it for free. Even if you're underage. You can get free condoms and tons of other helpful things too. There is no excuse for having unprotected sex. If you're going to do it, you better be able to handle the consequences that very well may come along with it. Be it disease, infection, unplanned pregnancy or anything else.

I don't care if you want to fuck 30 different people in 30 different days. I don't care if it's your mission to fuck one person from every state. I don't care if your goal is to fuck yourself into an orgasm coma. Whatever floats your fucking boat. Just do it safely. There's no excuse not to. If you're too embarrassed to buy condoms or too embarrassed to get on some form of birth control, you don't need to be having sex. That's just my opinion though. If you can't deal with it responsibly, you don't need to be doing it at all.

Did you see this post complete with pictures?! It's my post from yesterday. I want to brag pimp it some more. ;) I sent Boyfriend his box of stuff off today. Can't tell y'all what I sent him though. Just in case he stops by to read before the box gets there. Maybe he'll blog about it when he gets it, lol. Doubt it though. ;)

Is anyone tired of the gothy pictures yet? Too bad if you are, lol. I totally have far too many of these things. Which is why I'm posting 4 each week. ;)

Happy Thursday!


Thursday's Child said...

Definitely not sick of the goth pics - in fact, I wish I could make my eyes up nearly as well as yours!

You are always so damned beautiful...

Beautiful Dreamer said...

You are so gorgeous.

And I love the post. I've been called a whore at least 15 times in the last 24 hours and I really don't care anymore. I'm glad someone else out there can relate. Safe & confident: always sexy! :)

vixen kitten said...

I was going to say something really great about how you are my hero, and I love how you see and say things.....but then I got all warm and happy looking at your eyes, and my words got lost behind my thoughts about how damn beautiful you are.


Osbasso said...

Really...these have been some of your very best!

Breve said...

Love the black lips and eyes...and you are right, it is of no concern to others.

Happy HNT!

Southern Sage said...

Get em girl!

The slut thing is insane to call someone. People used to call me that but then it was a compliment to a guy. I had the same argument you use here in the 9th-10th grade. guys would say shes a slut/whore, WTF?
SHes a whore cause she likes sex? And y'all are against that?????????
they had it bass-ackwards.
non-thinkers I tell ya drive me nuts.

Now about the pics.
if you post em until AL Gore tkes the internet he created down I'll be damn tickled every week!!

the second click is friggin outstanding!

Vixen said...

Nope....not sick of them either. Very pretty. And you are beautiful. xo

Bad Bad Girl said...

Those eyes are mesmerizing...

Nolens Volens said... your view on sluts and sex. :) Love your pics. And elsewhere. ;) HHNT!

Mariposa said...

No, will never be tired of it...I find them ALL SEXY!

What more to say about your are right, you are not bad because you live a life which allows you to do what you want...and good that it does not bother you!


I Smile 2 Much said...

I frickin LUV these pics of you. Damn. Seriously. So unbelievably sexy.

My fave line here? "I don't care if your goal is to fuck yourself into an orgasm coma"

People's opinions never weigh too heavily on me. Its all so subjective. I just prefer the facts. Well said; Oh! And after he gets what you sent him ... will you tell us? Because yah. Curious minds like mine really *do* wanna know


13messages said...

Your blog is just about perfect. It's what I need to get back to on mine. Thanks for talking about sexuality with frankness and wise perspective. I only know you through your words here but I'm pretty sure you're not a slut. Anyway, I don't think anyone can put a number on what makes one a slut.

Your pictures are always wonderful. Have a great night.

AnnieAngel said...

I'm loving the lipstick and eye makeup!

Happy HNT!

vanimp said...

Oh sigh what a beautiful sight to come back to. I especially like the last click through, cool effect! I am one who will never get sick of the goth piccies ;) xxx

Adam Apple said...

Those black lips are dead sexy. Yum!!

Mike said...

You carry on posting your goth photo`s as i love them and the way you look in them!
A very HHNT

xX...Amy...Xx said...

You have really gorgeous eyes, especially in these pictures!

I totally agree with you on the 'slut' thing, people are too quick to judge and they often don't even know what they're talking about. There's a complete asshole of a guy bragging about how he slept with my friend, and so she's getting a bit of a reputation, and she's a virgin for God's sake!

Also, I'm sooo with you on the safe sex thing. It shocks me how little people know about contraception and how careless they can be!

Happy HNT!


Lapis Ruber said...

People who call women, sluts, whores, bitches etc say more about themselves than the target of their abuse and it usually means that they are either jealous or afraid or both.
I gave up calling girls names when I was about six years old which is when I grew out of it. So should they.

Great pics :-) Happy HNT.

An Artist Exposed said...

Wise words and beautiful pics - I'm always glad that I stopped by your blog.

Another Suburban Mom said...

I think your thoughts on sluttiness are awesome. I remember trying to explain this to people in college.

I usually ended up explaining that the difference between me and them was we slept with the same amount of people, but I didn't have to get wasted to do it.

Also, in your last click through, you have a real Christina Ricci vibe going on. Just saying...

Jennybean said...

yep, we love you, slutty, safe whatever....


Dial-Up Princess said...

i love the post...and safety is key not numbers or others thoughts on the matter.

Elise said...

I would never think of you as a slut or any of those other horrid names.

Beautiful pics as usual. Your lips and eyes are just amazing.

Salt and Pepper said...

You're pics are wonderful...keep it up!

southerngirl said...

"Sometimes when I am alone, I wonder
Is there a spell I am under
Keeping me from seeing the real thing?"

Beautiful pics this week dear!

Southern Vixen said...

First of all, you are so damn gorgeous. You should model. Those eyes. Those lips...go do it!

Second, your words about fucking/sex/being a slut....profound.

I agree with everything you wrote. I am a slut - self-described slut. I am a good person, as you are, who likes sex. There is absolutely, positively NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT. Enjoy your life and enjoy your sex. It keeps you young...
Much love, Baby

Big Kahuna said...

Loved the rant as much as I enjoy the HNT theme. I admit I am not a fan of goth (my age must be showing) but I enjoy when you present it because it is not for attention or some form of statement - it s just you. Self-respect for oneself and confidence in who you are is extremely sexy and that describes how your pics relate to me.

Slut/Whore/etc. is just such a subjective waste of time. Reading about Roberto Alomar yesterday and how he forced his girlfriend to have unprotected sex even though he was HIV positive. That is the king of crap people should focus their anger on, not how many willing, legal and able partners one has had.

swingerwife said...

You are one very stunning woman. Your beauty has an etheral quality to it that makes it impossible not to stare....


autumn said...

OMG AR, those are stunning. really *gulp*. you are so very lovely.

happy HNT

on the text itself, i really couldnt agree more on any of it. to each their own, just be safe. i have also been called a slut. whatevs, i know who i am.

Insults said...

cum dumpster???!!! The first time I've heard this!

White Light said...

you are one HOT goth chick :-)

Happy HNT!

not2shy said...

I'm not getting tired of these pictures. Seriously sexy :-)

If I call anyone a slut it's only because I'm envious of them. That's probably true of people who mean it pejoratively - the difference is that I admit it, and mean it as a compliment.

d2b said...

Happy HNT!!!

Maeve said...

Why would we get tired of your pic?
Yes, I found it stupid those who don't wear condom...There is not only the problem of pregnancy, there is STD's too!
Happy HNT!

Karl said...

Good Afternoon AR,

You are wise beyond your years. I find it refreshing.

Who could get tired of those eyes.

Elle said...

Beautiful picture, and I totally agree with you about the slut or no slut thing.

goodgirlnomore said...

we can never get enough of your goth beauty. HHNT!

(and yeah, fuck 'em all. who gives a fuck what they think. and they should stop thinking about who, what, where, how, how often, and how many we fuck.)

Richard, Shhh... said...

Amorous, I CERTAINLY agree with you on INSURING one is having safe sex if one is going to have sex!

The numbers thing is a whole different discussion; my heartburn is with girls who play the semi-virgin who "only slipped once" so her hymen is not intact and then, after 7 years of marriage, clarifies about the dozens of guys she fucked and forgot to mention. Unfortunately, men are set up because part of their crudeness is directness while women are often manipulative with their lies & sneakiness. Don't get pissed: this is not ALL men nor ALL women.

But what you are saying about safety is what I see as PROPER & RESPONSIBLE BEHAVIOR. Lying & manipulativeness is IRRESPONSIBLE BEHAVIOR, too. So I would insist people should BE SAFE BUT BE HONEST! Communicate responsibly & if one doesn't want to give their history to a long-term lover, be honest enough to say "I have a past & that's all I'm going to say. I presume YOU have a past too, but if you can't accept my terms, we should part now & forever!"

~*Jobthingy*~ said...

when i was single i started a dating blog for about 5 mins.

i talked about the idiots i met, the ones i fucked, the ones i liked but had issues.

i used to get this anon fucktard come in and call me a whore and a slut.

i would laugh. call him/her a jealous pussy that cant reveal her/himself.

so what.. oh no.. i fucked people. get the fuck over it

ok rant over LOL

you are so lovely. i could just eat you up.. really HHNT

phairhead said...

love the b&w photo. very lovely. by the by, why would be considered slutty if you yr not a cheater nor are you w/ someone that is in a relationship? fucking lame!

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