Thursday, February 26, 2009

It's cold beyond the sun, have you ever been there...

"How old were you when you lost you virginity?"

I stopped washing the dishes I had been washing and turned to look at the co-worker who had asked me the question. I raised and eyebrow and asked her why she wanted to know.

"I'm curious. Plus, I have another question too."

I shrugged and told her how old I was the first time I had intercourse. She looked at me puzzled for a moment, then nodded to herself. I asked her how old she had been when she lost hers. She looked uneasy for a moment and then told me how old she had been. She had been 17. I had been younger.

"Do you regret losing it so young? Do you ever wish you would have waited until you were maybe 18 or 19? Or older than that?"

"No," I replied. I looked at her a moment and then asked, "Do you regret losing yours at 17? Do you wish you would have waited?"

She paused a moment and I went back to washing the clear container that had held cut limes a few minutes prior.

"I do. I regret it. Why don't you regret it?"

"I think different people do it for different reasons. I think the reason you're doing it leads to if you regret it later on in life. I wasn't looking for attention, affection, acceptance, validation or love when I decided to have sex for the first time. I wasn't looking for anything deeper than the physical. I didn't have any emotional want or need. I just wanted to know how it felt."

Her cheeks flushed a little, embarrassed I think by how honest I had been. Hey, she asked. =)

She had to run off to take care of an order for a customer. She came back and I was off to something else. Filling up syrups in the bottles and cleaning the sticky syrupy mess off of some of them. She stood by me a few seconds and didn't say anything.

"Did you want to ask or say something else or no?" I asked.

"Well... uh yeah. I think what you said makes sense. Like, I regret it because the first time I did it, I thought it was because he would love me if I did. And I thought it would make me more of a grown up too. You know, like... like I needed to do that because it was what would make him care about me more and fall for me. And like... well adults have sex and it seems totally adult-ish to do so yeah. I did it to be loved and because I thought it made me more grown up. I didn't do it just for fun and I didn't do it with someone who actually cared about me. I wish I would have waited you know? I wish I could take that back but I can't so it sucks."

"Well, look at it a different way. What can you learn from the experience?"

She shrugged. " I dunno, never thought about it."

I contemplated it quickly and thought about what to say. "Well, you did it for reasons that you think are the wrong ones right? So you regret sleeping with him because of those reasons right?"

"Yeah! Like you know... I didn't really even want to but yeah. I did it anyway because of those reasons."

"So learn from that. Don't ever sleep with someone else again just because you think it will make you feel more like an adult. Or because you think it will make him love you. Or because you think you'll feel better about yourself."

"Oh I see. Hey, that's good advice. I only do it with Curly now because like you know... we both want to and we like each other and yeah... it feels good." She giggled at that last part and her cheeks flushed again.

I just nodded and she fluttered away for a little while. This co-worker of mine is a few years younger than I am. She's always coming to me asking me questions like that. Asking me for advice or asking me about things she's yet to experience. Asking me about new experiences she has and wanting to know if I've had them or anything similar like them. It's kind of weird but it doesn't bother me. I think it's kind of cool.



Happy Thursday y'all!!!!!

44 comments:

Bad Bad Girl said...

Good advice.... and that first click thru... damn.

Southern Sage said...

I like giving advice EXCEPT when folks don't take it then ask additional advice to get the fubar they are in worked out!!
Grrr

That top pic is friggin insane, but the second click.... yeah, I moaned aloud.

Stellar.

Vixen said...

I'm one of the few people as well, who don't regret their first time. *shrug* Great advice. :)

I LOVE that first click thru......like, WOWOWOWOWOW.

xo

Beautiful Dreamer said...

Love, love! Care to share your lollipop? HHNT!

Osbasso said...

First click is amazing, girl!

You're like the Dear Abby of the workplace!

MarcelloNYC said...

HHNT!

Excellent advice

TUG said...

I knew your answer before I read it. Damn, I'm starting to figure you out...watch it :)

GREAT pics this week! Lucky, lucky boy you have.

The Bizza said...

I'm sharing the text of this post with my 14-year-old daughter, who is going through typical 14-year-old struggles with identity.

She's not active yet (thank god) but she confides in me quite a bit, and has some insightful questions, similar to the ones you answered.

It's awesome that you are there to mentor your younger friend... to show her the path without trying to steer her there.

Excellent post.

SleepingDreamer said...

Happy Thursday Indeed! :)

Stargirl said...

Oh wow, I love that last photo and the click through. The contrast was delicious. Happy HNT

An Artist Exposed said...

I think its cool that you were patient with her and gave her good advice like that... What can I say... great pics! HHNT!

Curvaceous Dee said...

It's definitely cool :)

Love your images this week - and the first click-through is one of my absolute favourites! It'll be in my Sunday roundup...

xx Dee

xX...Amy...Xx said...

I'm stealing your advice for when my friends come to me with similar questions - I never really know what to say!

Also, your pictures are gorgeous, as always!

Happy HNT!

xxxx

~c said...

OMGosh i love that bra!!!

And some good advice there kiddo!

Have a Very Happy HNT!
~c

Greg and Sheryl said...

That was a very interesting conversation you had with you co-worker. What you told her seemed pretty self-evident to us, but it wasn't self-evident to her, so it's great that you were able to set her straight.

Great photots, as usual. Happy HNT!

southerngirl said...

Beautiful click throughs AR (as always.)

And I think it is great that you take the time with your co-worker and don't blow her off. She obviously sees you as confident and a person whose opinionmatters in her book. That is cool!

jupitersinclair said...

I seem to be the person that young women go to to ask lots of questions. I am TERRIBLE at giving advice..or at least I think so. I always think a lot about it after wards and rethink what I should have said instead. Your response was great.

The pics are awesome :)

Jennybean said...

Your pics are so amazing week after week... and I love that bra!

Glad your coworker has you to go to...

HHNT

Mike said...

Great adive, you sure are a wise one ;)
Wow,that 1st click through blow my socks off!
HHNT

Morning Glory said...

Wonderful advice!!
Lovely click thrus!! Mmmmmmm. I also like the picture with the lollipop. Seriously. *drools* You're such a beautiful woman!

swingerwife said...

You give great advice, so it is no surprise to hear that this coworker is always asking you for it!

Love the pics, especially the lollipop ones...

HHNT!

Salt and Pepper said...

Good advice...and a very hhnt to you. Great pictures once again!

Hair Bows & Guitar Picks said...

Happy HNT...

Karl said...

Good Morning AR,

Well said.

The lolly-pop shot in neat.

Dana said...

That damn sucker! *wink*

Breve said...

I think what you told her was very smart....my reason was probably very much like hers, but I have never dwelled on regret....

great pics!

CHEF TROLL said...

You're a mentor! I could never do that. I'd give bad advice on purpose. Grrherhahahahahahhaha.

Pronto said...

simply....

delicious....

hhnt

phairhead said...

huh, did the advice seeker think yr a tramp or something?

love the lolly look by the by. i stole yr idea for my new profile pic : )

Nolens Volens said...

Nothing like serving as a role model so you can make them feel good about giving it up more often. ;) Love your pics! HHNT!

Baby said...

Well I think you gave your co-worker excellent advice.... and Absolutely love the photos - very sexy on the click over too! HHNT!!!

Weekends Off said...

Hey there, I think it's really cool of you to answer her like you did, I mean, you could have totally brushed her off but you didn't. You gave her great advice in a kind way and if she takes it you have really saved her from YEARS of grief in the future.

Kudos to you, my friend.

King Slender said...

Good Lord! I hope I don't have to get up from my desk any time soon!

vanimp said...

Hehe I was 23 ;) ... damn that lollipop looks good ... among other sexy things xxx

viemoira said...

Hmmm... i would guess the poor girl needs a bit of guidance, good thing you're around. Its amazing the impact people can have on each other causing revelations from conversing. Pics are steaming hot as always and i now have the urge to suck on something ;)

Helga Hansen said...

I would never be able to wear it myself, but I always think dark lipstick looks so incredibly sexy! Gorgeous click-through on the first photo, my dear!

Happy HNT!

~*Jobthingy*~ said...

aww.. she looks up to you. its sweet :)

great pics.. as always sweetie.. so yummy!

HHNT

Maeve said...

Is that color?
Just teasing, because I know you love black! But still looking good!
Happy HNT!

Ro said...

So, so much that I'd normally say about those words. Four pictures that would all normally merit comment.

Not this week; that first image overshadows everything else. So haunting. I may dream of that tonight ...

autumn said...

ok, so first i have to say that AR, you are a well raised woman. you have grown up with confidence. confidence it the most important thing a person can have as it leads to all other good things. :) you are a wonderful example to others. i am so glad she has you to ask these things because she's walking away with great advice. loves ya girl!

on the pics? you are beautiful. just gorgeous. i am loving all these head shots.

happy HNT

Kittie Kate said...

You got nice boobs. They're nice and fluffy. If I were a guy, I'd love to squeeze them. (I think I'd squeeze them anyways). I think they're perfect.

Really good pics!

Happy HNT!

Vixen said...

I snagged one of your pics for my FF ;)

Sienna said...

I really love this series that you're doing. Great HNT :D

d2b said...

Happy belated HNT!!!