Monday, February 23, 2009

Come on feel the noise, girls rock your boys....

Friend: I know something is up with my boyfriend! I can find out if I nose around a little bit, I just know it. Urgh!! I am sooo mad right now I could just... urgh. I am gonna nose around when he is at the gym and the morning and then even more once he leaves for work.

Me: Don't snoop!

Friend: Why not? If he's being dishonest, I can nose around a little and find out what's going on and then confront him with it!

Me: No, if you think something is up just TALK TO HIM about it. Ask him and find out if he's up to no good or not. You say you can always tell when he's lying so...

Friend: Yeah but I dunno. I really would rather just nose around and see if he's being dishonest. I'll be so pissed if I find out he isn't being honest.

Me: Bad idea. What are you gonna do? Confront him about whatever you find, which may be nothing that you think is something. Then when he wants to know how you came up with things, you're gonna have to lie or have to tell him you snooped around in all his stuff and have him pissed off. Cut the bullshit and just talk.

Friend: Why would he be mad because I nose through his things? If I didn't think he was up to something, I wouldn't have done it in the first place!

Me: Seriously? Come on now. Do you have any proof of anything or just your theories?

Friend: No proof but..... shoot I dunno...

Me: Why do you think he's lying to you about where he's going and what he's doing then?

Friend: I dunno. Just a feeling. That's why I want to nose around his computer, his cell, his receipts and that stuff and like, you know, find out what he's been doing.

Me: What if you find "something" that you think is "something" and it turns out to be absofuckinglutely nothing at all? Then what? You're going to tell him you were just paranoid because you're insecure in your relationship so you thought the best way to go was by snooping through all his stuff?

Friend: You don't get it! URGH!

Me: Yeah? How would you react if you found out he hadn't trusted you over a period of time? Found out he read all your emails, grabbed your cell while you slept and read all your texts and checked your calls, got into your facebook and read your messages, plowed through your drawers looking for things, rifled through your bag looking for receipts and any little thing that might incriminate you?

Friend: OMG I would be pissed!!!!! That would be an invasion of my privacy plus I would be hurt that he went behind my back and did that because he didn't feel like he could talk to me.

Friend: Oh shit.


Friend: Urgh! Why are you so against me finding out if he's being dishonest with me? What's your problem?

Me: I'm not against it! Geez. I just don't think snooping around is the best way to do it. It's dishonest and snooping only causes trouble more often than not. Plus you just fucking said how you would feel if the shoe was on the other foot. You know you shouldn't do it. If you think something is up, grab your metaphorical brass balls and go talk to him about it.

Friend: I know you're right but buh your way is harder :/

Me: Yeah but it's the better way to go. It might cause some problems but going behind his back and going through his stuff will cause more. Also, you don't know that anything you find is really something anyway so you'll be stressing yourself out, worrying over every little thing you see.

Friend: True! LOL So you wanna talk to him for me and see what's up?

Me: Oh shut the fuck up, lol.

Then we chatted on for a little while longer, mainly my friend trying to convince me I should try to chat her boyfriend up and feel him out to see if I can get him to slip up and let something go. I won't be doing that. They've been together a little over 5 years now. Around 8 months ago, she came very close to having an affair with one of her professors. For the last month, she's been reading into every little thing and is thinking her boyfriend is either cheating on her or up to no good some how. A couple weeks ago, I asked her if all her insecurities and suspicions might be conjured up from a guilty conscience since she did come very close to cheating physically with a professor. She said emotionally, she felt like she had already cheated because she was lying about class projects and other things to be able to spend more time with her professor. Getting to school early so they could spend time together before classes for the day started. Stuff like that. So, I brought forth the notion that she might be conjuring up her new found distrust in her boyfriend because she felt guilty or because she thought if she could do it, maybe he was doing it too. She got pissed off and said I was nuts. I still think my theory was sane and logical but whatever. I hope she gets things worked out and soon. I also hope she talks to him instead of running around snooping and stressing herself out in the process.

Anyway... =)

Tonight my Stars play the San Jose Sharks. I switched shifts with a girl at work so I could be off tonight to watch the game. I normally DVR the ones I miss because of work and watch them later but I really want to see this one. =) So, I asked a girl to work my shift tonight and in turn, I'm working her shift Tuesday night. Woohoo. GO STARS!

I spent too much money on music today, lol. Well, not really. I spent $48 for 5 CD's so that's not too bad at all. What's the point of working all the time if I can't buy some stuff I want when I have the extra money too? ;)

"So Long" by Stereoside.

Happy Monday!!!!!


Southern Sage said...

sounds like good advice to your friend.

Go Stars!!

Just The Girl said...

Great advice to gave your friend I would have said the samething.

Happy Monday to you too....

Tiggs said...

Sounds like great advice and yes, you most certainly should be able to enjoy yourself a bit after working so hard and so long!

Happy Monday to you, too, sweetie!

BedsideTalesMan said...

Great advice...nothing worse than rifling through someone's stuff. If there is no trust...there is a lot more to worry about than where he is. I am not hiding anythng and whould open everything to show my woman if she wanted to see...but I'd be pissed if I found that she went through my stuff when I was not around.

autumn said...

i think that you, AR, are a very smart woman. good advice you gave your friend! i will agree to root for your stars, unless they are playing Vancouver, then it's on.

Jennybean said...

good thing you steered your friend in the right direction...

as far as the stars...well....

Shad said...

I agree with your advice but I really do agree with your theory on why she has these "feelings". When you let that irrational/insecure side of your brain alone for to long all kinds of crazy shit can happen. Its better to find a positive outlet for that excess energy.

Happy Monday!

Bizarre Brunette said...

Good advice. Hope she listens. Snooping creates problems.

Sam said...

I think your friend just made me cross eyed.

viemoira said...

I love you for your honesty!

TUG said...

Yeah! Quiet Riot!!! Had the t-shirt :)

Great advice!

I spent $15 on 3 CDs over the weekend at the Circuit City going out of business sale. You should stop by to see what is left.