Saturday, January 31, 2009

Saturday Survey

Saturday Survey #999901
Brought to you by: Amorous Rocker

Are you wrapp​ed in a blank​et?​​​​​​​
Nope. The mini heater thing is on.

What is the last movie​ you watch​ed?​​​​​​​
Welcome Home, Roscoe Jenkins. Watched it after work last night.

What was the last thing​ that you micro​waved​?​​​​​​​
I have no clue actually.

Have you made out with more than ten peopl​e this year?​​​​​​​

Is there​ a diffe​rence​ betwe​en loving someone and being in love?​​​​​​​
Oh definitely. There's no "why" on the end of this one so I don't have to explain either, woohoo. *grin*

Could​ you go for the rest of your life witho​ut drink​ing any beer, wine or alcoh​ol ever again? ​​​​​​​
I could but I don't want to, lol.

Do you alway​s answe​r your phone​?​​​​​​​
Nope. If I'm busy, I don't answer. If I don't feel like talking, I don't answer. If it's a number I don't know, I might answer or I might now, just depends on my mood, lol.

What color​ are your nails​ paint​ed?​​​​​​​
They aren't... because I can't find any fucking black nail polish around here in hillbilly town.

Do you curre​ntly have a hicke​y?​​​​​​​

Do you drink​ a lot of water​?​​​​​​​
Oh yeah! I drink so much at work, got to keep hydrated you know. ;)

Are you weari​ng socks​?​​​​​
Nope, my feet are naked.

Is your cell phone​ fully​ charg​ed?​​​​​​​
It's almost never fully charged.

What were you doing​ at 2 AM?
Just getting in from work.

What were you up to at 9pm last night​?​​​​
Working. I know, contain your excitement.

Do you eat whip cream​ strai​ght out of the can?
Hell yeah.

On a torti​lla chip,​​​​ do you like salsa​ or chees​e?​​​​
Salsa, really hot flavorful salsa. And cheese. I like both. I love cheese but I really like good salsa too. Now I want tacos. With chips and salsa. And cheese. And a margarita. And it's only 6 AM, bwa ha ha.

How di​​​​d you meet the last perso​n you were in a car with?​​​​
We're related. ;)

What annoys you most about one of the superiors at your job?
One, I can't stand the fucking power trips one goes on.

Two, I can't stand that another one is a big ass pothead who runs around like a squirrel that somehow got a nut coated with speed.

Three, I can't stand that this one is ALWAYS GETTING IN THE FUCKING WAY. Seriously. If you're being in the way is causing shit to run slower and you're making more mess than you are helping, get the fuck out of the way. Seriously, I wish she would just stand around and supervise over trying to help. She runs around crazy getting in everyone's way and makes everything go slower.

Four... I really can't think of anything that annoys me about my GM. Hmmm. Everyone hates him actually but I'm indifferent about him. Oh wait! He can't order for shit. Come Sunday, we always run out of shit. I hate telling a customer, "Oh sorry, we're out of that right now because our manager doesn't know how to do a food order right. What else would you like instead?"

How many friends do you have that don't smoke?
It's about half and half.

Doesn't it drive you nuts when people think they 'need' to have a boyfriend/girlfriend?
I don't care. Some people do "need" that for whatever reasons. Not my issue to deal with. =)

Do you know anyone that thinks that?

Would you rather go to Canada or Mexico on vacation?

What song is currently stuck in your head?
Flobots - Handlebars and let me tell you I am really not so happy about that.

What color are your eyes?
Pretty! Bwa ha ha.

So, if you were to get married (whether you have plans to actually get married or not doesn't matter here); where would you want to get married at?
I haven't really thought about it. Don't plan on starting now for the sake of a silly question either. =)

Some people were really destructive as a child, were you?
As a child? Shiiit! I still love to blow shit up and tear things apart. Yuh. =D

If you were a hippie for a day, what would you do?
Hippie stuff! Duh.

Many people call themselves artistic, what about you?
I don't really call myself anything. When I talk to myself, I just ramble about weird things. Talking to myself about myself would be so weird.

Are you a morning person or a night person?

What is something you don't understand at all?
Japanese. My friend MVA is Japanese and he's instant messaging me the other day, in Japanese and I'm like WTF, I don't know what you're saying you douche! And he's just laughing his skinny little Japanese ass off. I didn't understand one single word he said. He was amused though. Dick. *grin*

If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend one night in a supposed haunted house, would you do it?
Fuck yeah! I've slept in them for longer amounts of time and didn't get any prize for it. I'd so do it for a million bucks. One freaking night? Puhlease, easy. Lol.

Would you live with someone you were in a relationship with before marrying them?

Do you mind sleep​ing on the floor​ ?
I would rather not. Unless it's a mattress directly on the floor then I'm down with doing that.

Friday, January 30, 2009

If your darkness blinds me I could never be more lost....

He's going to the doctor today. Poor boy. He did go to work yesterday and put in 5 hours. He sounded damn awful when I talked to him last night. Hopefully it's nothing that won't be done with a few days of antibiotics. I told him he should start taking vitamins, haha. =)

Thursday, my Stars played the Detroit Red Wings at Joe Louis Arena in "Hockey Town" Detroit. I had to work, like every single Thursday night since July of 2008 when I started this job, lol. I sing the praise of the wonderful invention known as the DVR. I fucking love being able to record games I would otherwise miss due to being at work. I always wear a Stars shirt under my work shirt when I'm working on a game night, lol. They're mostly thin cotton so it doesn't make much of a difference. I know it's there and that's all that matters. And yes, I have several Stars shirts. Would you expect anything less? C'mon now.

So, I got home from work, got some laundry started and then put the game on. =) OH MY FUCKING GOSH it was a GREAT game AND we fucking WON. Detroit, I will give it to them, is a fantastic team. My insane dislike of them is because they are such a good team. I love when we play them though. It's always an exciting and physical game. Thursday's game was no exception and again, I love you DVR. It's one of the best games I've seen in a while. Too bad my Stars that played last night haven't been there all season long, we would be doing a hell of a lot better in the standings. We're catching up though y'all so watch out. =D

I usually like to take my own food to work to eat on my lunch break. We have a huge ass menu of food we serve and there are things not on the menu that employees make with the stuff we have back there. I get sick of eating at work. It's not the best food around in terms of being good for you and as far as being filling? It works and it's not bad. It's rather good but I'd prefer to take something from my own kitchen and then just warm it up at work and eat something better. =D So yesterday, I was standing in the kitchen at home waiting for my white rice to finish cooking and decided to cut an apple into slices to go along with the chicken and rice I was taking with me. I was cutting the seeds out of the slices and then I was suddenly thinking about the million and one times I spent at my grandparents house. Which reminded me of all the apples I'd eaten there. Which got me thinking about the seeds my grandmother always let us run outside and bury not so strategically around their yard. I was convinced I was going to grow a hundred apple trees in their small yard and nothing was convincing me otherwise. So we would save up the seeds and then when I had what I deemed to be an ample amount, outside I went and found a place for them to go into the ground. With my grandpa usually supervising me and 22 as we dug up the ground and tossed in the seeds. We would worry over it for a few days, checking to see if anything was happening yet and then we would forget about the seeds more often than not. Until the next time there were apples and seeds to be had, then we would ask and be told that our apple seeds hadn't produced anything. Never deterred, more went into the ground. I stood there smiling as I remembered how amused my grandparents were over us planting all kinds of seeds in their yard and expecting things to pop up overnight. I have a lot of awesome memories with my grandparents. 22 and I spent a lot of time there when we were younger and they also visited our house often. I'm lucky to have so many great memories with them.

The best part of flying home to visit during Thanksgiving last year was hanging out at my grandparents house for hours. We ate first at my boyfriends mom's house with his mom, sister and grandmother. Then it was off to my grandparents. I had told them we already ate a couple hours prior. The first thing my grandmother said to me as we got into the door was that I better be ready to eat again because it wouldn't be right otherwise. I laughed and said that would be fine. In fact, I didn't eat much at my my guys mom's house because I knew my grandmother wouldn't be happy if I didn't eat something there.

When my boyfriend walked in, my grandma didn't recognize him for a few seconds. My boyfriend used to have long hair and lots of facial hair. With his current job, he cut his hair very short and his facial hair is very tame and business like. The first words my grandmother said were, "I didn't recognize you at first! Look there, you're a handsome boy without all that hair and scruff in the way!" Then the proceeded to ooh and ahh over just how handsome he was. Then she told me, "You're lucky I'm not another 50 years younger. If I was, I'd give you a run for your money with this one here." My boyfriend laughed and blushed. I busted out in laughter and my aunt and cousin died laughing too. She told me a few times that night how lucky I was she was an old woman. It was hilarious. She also ooh-ed and ahh-ed several more times about how good looking Boyfriend was "all cleaned up" which was so cute and amusing to me. Especially when he heard it and blushed a little. He blushes and chuckles when someone compliments him on how he looks. ;) My grandfather also told him he looked much better cleaned up. Told him he looked like a business man and asked if he was taking care of his business. My boyfriend laughed and said he was, my grandfather grinned and patted him on the shoulder. Later on in the night when we gathering things up to get going home, my guy was saying goodbye to my grandpa. Grandpa rested his hand on Boyfriend's shoulder and told Boyfriend that he'd be just fine having him as a part in the family some day. I thought that was the sweetest damn thing ever. My grandpa doesn't say much but when he does, it's very worth hearing. I think Boyfriend was quite surprised by that statement and honestly, so was I. I never even heard how Boyfriend replied to that because I was just that surprised by the statement. I knew they liked him but that was really great. =)

Okay so I saw this video over on Vixen's place and HAD to post it here. I'm not a PETA fan at all. I'm not a vegetarian either. Sorry, I like chicken too much for that, nom nom nom. This commercial is too hot for the Super Bowl (haha) and NBC rejected it. So, you won't be seeing this one during the Super Bowl commercials and of course, if you're at work I'd save it for later because it's probably NSFW. It's got hot half naked chicks in it doing bad things with vegetables. Like I said, leave it alone while you're at work, lol. Though I like the commercial and it makes me giggle, I can totally see why NBC would reject it during Super Bowl play. I can't imagine a lot of parents who want their kiddos seeing that, let alone explaining to their kiddos what's going on. I know people say there is worse coming on TV and that's true but still. Click here for the blog about it, that was interesting to read and I admit, I got a kick out of some of the comments too. =D

'Veggie Love': PETA's Banned Super Bowl Ad


Thursday, January 29, 2009

You were always where the sun could never go...

Boyfriend was talking here about how he was hoping he wouldn't have to work Wednesday because of the weather. Many places in Dallas decided the shut on down or just not open for the day because of all the ice. Boyfriend's job didn't take the day off however so he had to go in and get some work done. He's also not feeling well. I joked that he might be sick since he made 3 new blog posts 3 days in a row but apparently I wasn't really joking since he felt like shit all day. Ooops. I bitched at gently reminded him to get some medicine and take care of himself so he didn't get too sick and end up missing any work. Though I suppose a day off wouldn't be so bad. He makes salary so it's not like he would miss the hours. He also doesn't get a day off during the week anyway even though plenty of other people do. He does get Sunday off but EVERYONE gets Sunday off since that's the one day a week his job isn't even open. Oh well. He does well at his job and I'm proud of him for doing so well for himself. =)

I was reading around on some of my favorite blogs a little while ago. I've been doing some thinking the last couple days and okay yeah, so when am I not doing some thinking about something right? I read a couple posts on one of my favorite blogs a little bit ago that were personal and emotional. From reading them, I felt the emotion in the meaning behind the words on the screen. I also felt a little strange because sometimes, reading insightful things of personal and emotional matters makes me feel like I'm outside looking in on something that is so not my business. Though it's personal it's posted in a public forum so really, I am outside looking in but with an unspoken permission to view these thoughts and emotions. Some how in my reading, I gained some perspective. Nothing life changing. Nothing altering in a big way. Just a little clarity, a tiny bit, enough to give my mindset that little nudge it needed to go one way or another. Totally unintentional by the author and I wasn't even looking for anything. More so I was reading to keep my mind off things but I guess I just wasn't supposed to keep ignoring my thoughts on the particular subject. =)

"Black Rose" by Trapt

I love that song.
It makes me feel so sad.
I love it anyway. =)

Thursday! =)

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

But I was comfortable inside these wounds...

Not only did Boyfriend make a new post on Sunday night but he also posted again last night! He's on a roll I tell ya. ;) In his post last night, I even learned something new that I hadn't known about him before when he was talking a little about religion. Nothing important or anything. Just a random little nothing I never knew before. :) Head over and check it out.

Since we're on the subject and it's something I never talk about on here, something I love about my boyfriend is that we can disagree on heavy topics but they won't turn into arguments. Take religion for example. He has his views and I have mine. In some ways, we think the same. In other ways, I disagree and think differently. We've never fought about this though. One, it's stupid as hell to fight over religion. Mainly because though I'm spiritual, I'm not religious. I used to go to church with family when I was younger because I had to but to be honest, I hated going. I didn't believe in a lot of what was being said and I didn't like how fake it all seemed. People acting holier than though one day a week while turning a hypocritical cheek and acting differently the other six. Not saying all religious folks are like that because I know they aren't. It's not for me and I'm okay with that. I know what I believe for the most part and I don't want someone in my face trying to convince me otherwise. My boyfriend has his views and I respect that. We can discuss and disagree on things without it turning into a fight. I hate nothing more than having a discussion with someone on a certain subject turn ugly because they can't handle a difference of opinion. I can't stand when someone wants you to believe what they believe because they are right. I also can't stand when people say, "Well you can't prove me wrong so there." Well, you can't prove me wrong either. All you have is words and your own perspective. Shut it and let the conversation die if you can't discuss it without getting pissed off for whatever reason. Of course, it is a topic that people feel strongly and passionately about so you're bound to get rises from people. I don't even mind that if it can be done without it turning into a big pissing match that just goes around and around in circles. When it becomes repetitive and it's becoming more about which person is right over the other, that's when it hits the stopping point for me. I don't think my views are the end all and be all but they are what work for me.

*Ahem* Stepping away from that now, lol.

Monday night after an insanely slow night at work, I came home, checked my bank account balance and then spent too much time playing Devil May Cry on Xbox 360. I fucking love that game. Yes, I play video games. I like sports games and fantasy games. I also love any games with Mario (Super Mario, Mario Party, etc) and Tetris. And all the sports games on Wii. I rock at bowling and baseball. ;)

I hate when I finally lay down to go to sleep and I'm tired but as soon as I lay down, my mind revs up and I can't stop thinking. I have a million things going through my mind. Some serious, some weird, some just flat out stupid. I try to center myself so I can relax and go to sleep but I just can't stop thinking. An hour later, I'm still laying there thinking and trying not to think, lol. Music usually helps because I can lay there listening and just let the lyrics run through my mind. That's the best thing that's been able to help me sleep. Lately though, I just think over the lyrics. I try and concentrate on them once I realize I'm not paying attention anymore but eventually, I end up lost in my thoughts again instead of lost in the music. It fucking sucks, lol. I'm not looking for any help here honestly. I know what will help but I know it isn't going to happen anytime soon. :)

My Stars play tonight and I'm off work and will be home to watch the game! Yes! I was going nuts during the All-Star break. Though it was awesome watching Mike Modano and Stehpane Robidas play in the All-Star game. Even though the West lost to the East. Oh well though. We play Atlanta tonight. Go Stars! =)

Random facts:

I love Numerology.

My mom does my taxes for me.

I love The Clash and The Cure.

I love the TV shows Will & Grace and Two and a Half Men. See, House isn't the only thing I like to watch. ;)

I hate dry toast. I have to have jam, honey or peanut butter on it otherwise I just can't eat it.
Happy Tuesday!

Monday, January 26, 2009

...And now I know for sure, there is no cure

So before I get to the post today, since I have people ask, my boyfriend does still once and a while post on his blog. He made a new post yesterday actually! Which, I didn't noticed and he didn't mention but I got an e-mail from a cheeky blogger lady you all know and dig who was excited that he posted again, lol. She's such a nerd, that one. Anyway click here and check it out if you like, after you're done here of course.

This guy I know sent me a text message on Friday. We weren't ever really good friends or anything. We hung out, we talked a lot but nothing much. We made out quite a few times but it never went beyond kissing and that only happened a few times. We still talk now and then but I had not heard from him since last year, around October, when he told me he was moving back home to Dallas after living in Los Angeles, CA for almost a year.

He sent me a text to let me know that he "came out" to his family and his close friends recently. I replied back that I was proud of him. He asked me if I was surprised that he was gay and I said I wasn't. I had a feeling he was gay anyway, even when we used to hang out and even the times we made out.

The first time I met him, I thought that he was gay. I hate to say it but it was just a feeling I got. I even asked after knowing him for two weeks and he got flushed and slightly embarrassed and danced away from the subject without ever answering. Then, I'd notice him trying to discreetly check out a hot guy that walked by at times. I'd notice him staring at a cute guy's butt and I'd comment about something related to the guy and he'd get flustered and act like he had no clue what I was talking about. I noticed other things and eventually, I asked again one night. We were sitting around, ironically watching Will & Grace and I asked, to which he again wouldn't give me an answer. To avoid the answer, he kissed me and we made out. I wasn't in to it really and I knew he wasn't either but still it was kind of fun.

When we would make out, he never got even the slightest bit turned on. He never wanted to do more than kiss. He didn't ever kiss away from my lips. His hands never left my hips or lower back at all. There wasn't anything to it either. I didn't feel anything and I could tell he never felt anything. No chemistry at all, no urgency, no real desire, no heat, no spark, flat nothing. Kissing with him was just kind of fun, kind of like practice too. It was relaxing in a way because it was just fun without anything behind it. It was friendly as hell. After a few times, I remember talking with him and telling him I didn't want to make out again because even though it was kind of fun that it was also kind of weird too and I didn't see a point in going forward in that fashion since it was obvious neither of us was into it at all. He agreed. The fact that he wasn't at all into me at all wasn't what made me think he was gay. Like I said, I noticed other things and I just had a feeling. Not to mention last year he got in touch with one of my best guy friends, who is very openly gay and began chatting him up out of the blue. The chatting my good friend up turned into a little light flirtation though nothing more ever came of it. And again, there were other things not to mention my rockin' intuition about these things, lol.

He said he figured I knew already anyway. I asked him why he figured that. He mentioned about back when we hung out and made out and said that the fact that he wasn't moved at all, even slightly by a pretty girl kissing him probably gave it away to me. I said I wasn't conceited enough at all to think a guy was gay just because he wasn't turned on or interested in me. He laughed at that and told me he felt he needed to apologize. I asked why. He said in making out with me, he was hoping that he would enjoy it and hoping it would turn him on even slightly. He said he was confused and based on how his strict Catholic family upbringing, he felt like he was very wrong to feel the way he did about guys. So he was trying to force himself to like girls. So he felt the need to apologize to me in case I had taken it personally. By personally, he thought I might have freaked out and thought something was wrong with me because he never got the slightest bit turned on with me. My turn to laugh and tell him no such thing ever even crossed my mind, lol. No way would I ever blame myself for a guy not being turned on with me.

So I told him he didn't need to apologize but he did anyway because he felt he should. I said that was fine and asked him why he finally decided to come out to his family and friends. He laughed and said it was because he finally got tired of trying to be with women when it wasn't what he really wanted. He said he was tired of trying to live his life in a way that wasn't true to how he really felt. That he was finally comfortable enough in what he felt to be open about it, first with himself and then months later with the people closest with him.

He says he's so happy now that he's open about it. I asked how his parents took it. He said his father didn't speak to him at first but then after four days, he called and told him that he didn't care, if that's what he felt then he couldn't change it and he still loved him. He said his mom just hugged him the day he told her and said she already knew but was glad he was okay enough with himself to be able to tell her finally.

I told him I was happy for him and he asked why. I told him I understood how it felt to feel a certain way and feel like it was wrong or bad and want to try to change it but to never be able to because it was one of those things you just couldn't change about yourself. He said that was exactly how he had felt and we talked a little bit longer on the subject. Then he told me about the guy at work that he has the hots for, lol. I wished him luck in that and he made me promise to keep in better touch with him. I said I'd try and he laughed and said that was the best. Then he joked about wanting to meet my sexy boyfriend one of these days and I said we would see about that. If he tries to take a drink of my sexy Kool-Aid though, we're gonna have some serious issues going on. ;)

Musical Monday:

"Contagious" by Trapt

"......But you caught my attention
You built on the tension
And you left me wanting more
Now I don't know what I can do with myself
(Do with myself)
I don't want nobody else

I let you in, I let you in
And you infected me
Can't get enough of you
Can't get enough of you
I breathed you in, I breathed you in
And now I'm in too deep
Don't think I'm pulling through
(Don't think I'm pulling through)
Can't get enough of you
(Can't get enough of you)

You're so contagious
Running through my veins
You're so contagious
Hanging onto every word
You're so contagious
And I can't get away
You're so contagious
And now I know for sure
There is no cure

I saw your intentions
I gave you permission
Go ahead and start the war
I was out of addictions
By my own admission
Oh, I've been keeping score
But you made an exception
You taught me a lesson
Who cares where I've been before?
You would never leave me all by myself
All by myself
You don't want nobody else....."

Click the link if you want to read all of the lyrics. I didn't start from the beginning and I didn't post them all. I just posted the parts I wanted to display. This song makes me think of.... who? Yeah, my boyfriend. Although, calling him contagious and accusing him of breaking through my barriers and infecting me isn't the most romantic thing in the world but I'm not the romantic kind of girl. I'm complicated, logical, realistic and it took a whole lot for him to get close to me. Even more difficult was I had to slow myself down. I wanted to trust him and wanted to give in to him and take my walls down for him more so than I do for anyone else. I wanted to be more open more quickly. For that, it scared the shit out of me and made me a little crazy. I wanted to trust him faster than I trusted myself to be able to do and that set me to trying to put up extra walls because I've never met someone who is so good, kind and genuinely caring as my boyfriend is. It scared me and for that, the poor boy probably had it worse than any other person who has ever tried to get close to me. I'm glad he's endured and surpassed every single thing I've thrown at him though. =)


Saturday, January 24, 2009

Saturday Survey

First thing first! Today is Hubman's birthday!

Go on over to his blog and wish him a Happy Birthday!

Saturday Survey #345678
Brought to you by: Amorous Rocker

Do you have any fashion icons that you look up to or try to model your style after?

Hahahahahahahhahahahahahahaha. Ahem. No. I am not fashionable or trendy at all. I don't keep up. I wear what I like. Which is a lot of black, fishnets, pinstripes and etc. I don't give a shit about fashion. If I like it and can afford it, I'll wear it so leaveee me and my jeans and band tshirts ALOOONE. Thanks.

What are you doing tonight?
Working until 2 in the AM. Yeah baby.

What color eyeshadow do you wear?
Blacks, greys, dark purple, dark red. Usually some dark color with black outlining it. Or something skin toned. Or nothing. :)

Do you walk around your house naked?
I live with my family so no and I appreciate that none of them run around in their birthday suit either.

Do you like men with beards and goatees?
Depends on how it looks on the guy. My boyfriend looks goofy without his goatee but he's so effing hot with it, yum. Actually yeah, I like facial hair or stubbly-I-haven't-shaved-in-a day-or-three scruff. Yum.

What annoys you most about your best friend?
I have more than one best friend but lets pick Fangs. He's flakey and that drives me nuts.

What is the most non-scary horror film ever?
Pick one. Most horror films aren't scary. They should fucking call it cheesy-gory-spooky-comedy I swear.

What movie has the best soundtrack?
There are tones! It just depends on what you're in the mood for. I love the Underworld soundtrack. Sexy music there. I picked that because I was listening to it a couple days ago, lol.

Do you listen to 80s music?
Haha yes, yes I do. =)

What's your favourite dessert?
Ice cream. =)

When you were a kid did you believe that the opposite gender had cooties?
No, I was a big tomboy and I definitely didn't think boys had cooties. I did think girls were strange. Still do. I'm still a tomboy. =)

Do you like the redsox or the yankees?
No and no.

Who was the last person you couldn't keep your eyes off of?
This girl at work the other night. A customer. She wasn't gorgeous or anything but she was acting really peculiar but I couldn't figure out what exactly she was doing. She just kept moving around the parking lot and at times looked like she was dancing. Other times she barely seemed to be moving. Other times she was ducking down and duck walking between cars. I dunno. I couldn't stop watching to see what she was going to do next though.

Are there any stressful situations in your life currently?
Yeah definitely but that's life.

When was the last time a member of the opposite sex hugged you?
Work Friday night. This one kid always hugs me at least once every time we work together.

Have you kissed more than 3 people in one night?
Lol. Yes.

Did you sing today?
I sing every day.

List one fact about the last person you texted?
He's a whiney little bitc.... Err. He's got more sexy toys than a lot of girls I know. That one's true too. It's weird and no, you don't want to know. I don't even want to know some of the time. Not that it stops him from oversharing.

Have you found out anything interesting in the last 48 hours?
Kind of but I can't say because I want to post about it next week, hehe.

Honestly, if you could go back 5 months and change something, would you?
Maybe. I don't even know. Probably not. Everything happens the way it happens and changing it could make things worse or maybe better. Just leave the passed alone and worry about today and tomorrow.

Is there anyone who just doesn't like you?
Uh yeah, lol. Several people at work really don't like me. A friend or two of my boyfriend's really don't like me. Some of my friends friends can't fucking stand me. I don't care. =)

What is the last thing you put into your mouth?
A juicy piece of apple. Mmm, it was delicious.

How often do you think before you speak?
Not near as often as I should, that's for sure, lol.

Would you prefer someone romantic, charming, and polite or spontaneous, fun and wild?
I'll take considerate, spontaneous, fun and respectful.

Are you ever afraid to ask questions because you think people will think you're dumb for not knowing?
Nope, lol. I'll just ask and if I get laughed at, I shrug it off or joke about it. Or if they're being a dick about it, I say something smart ass or asshole worthy to shut them up.

Do you use the term "bestie" when referring to a best friend?
Nope, never.

If you could​ make your lips bigge​r,​ would​ you?
No, I think they're fine how they are.

If alcoh​ol were banne​d,​ what would​ your react​ion be?
I'd be annoyed.

Have you ever peed for someo​ne so they would​ pass a drug test?​
Nope. I've had people proposition me for that but nope.

Do you sleep well more often than you sleep poorly?
No. I usually don't sleep well. I have too much going on in my head and have to tell myself to shut the fuck up, stop thinking so much and go to sleep. I usually have to tell myself that 5 or more times, lol. Then I have crazy dreams and wake up too many times.

Friday, January 23, 2009

Beautiful as fire against the evening sky...

I just spent an hour writing a post that I will not publish today. I was going to. I was re-reading it, checking for typos and making sure I hadn't rambled off point too much in any place before I hit publish. Then it hit like a sack of bricks, I could not post this. Not today. I hit the save now button because one of these days, I will go back and will post it. It's something I want to share. It's deep and it's very personal. I realized though that there are things in it that I don't want some people finding out by reading them on my blog. There were things in there that I don't want my boyfriend knowing by reading my blog. They don't have anything to do with them but they're things in my passed that I've never told him. The end of the post leads up to him though. The things I don't want him finding out by reading them are there. They're good things too. Just things I've never told him because they're things I didn't realize until the last few months when I've thought about them. I've thought a lot lately about the state of mind I was in when we met, the person I was, the things I was going through. I realized recently something wonderful and that realization was in the post that I wrote today, that mixing of passed with present.

Then there are other things I wrote about that I don't want other people reading.

In some time, I'll come back and remember to post that blog. I didn't spend all that time writing it for nothing, lol. Now isn't the time for it though. Maybe by then, I won't care and none of that stuff will seem important anymore. I have no idea. I'm not being a drama queen either though if you think that, fine and dandy for you.

I'm excited about some things. I'm excited about possibly being able to get more dental work done soon. I'm excited about moving back home in another couple of months after I save up some money. I'm excited about school in the fall. I'm excited about a couple other more personal things. I'm excited that I'm going to start living and stop just existing and going through the motions every single day. I'm going to let go and stop worrying so much about what certain people will think one way or another. I can't make everyone happy and right now, the only person I really want to make happy is myself. I'm not really sure what the fuck that even feels like anymore because I haven't really been happy in so fucking long. I'm content right now. Trust me, feeling content after feeling completely miserable for so long feels like paradise. I feel more right currently than I have in a while. I've got a great family, despite our disagreements and driving each other crazy from time to time. I have an amazing boyfriend who supports me and understands me better than anyone. I have great friends here, there and everywhere.
I feel more like me than I have in quite a while and I was honestly terrified that I'd lost that girl somewhere along the way. I might have but it doesn't matter now. Most importantly, I feel alive. I don't feel worthless, I don't feel useless. I have direction. I have a plan finally. I don't have it all figured out and I don't care because no one ever has it all figured out. I've never thought I needed to have it all figured out, it seems stressful to try and unrealistic beyond belief.

Cookie for you if you actually read all of that. Not that it was long because it wasn't very long at all. :)

Happy Friday!
Have a great weekend y'all!

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

I'm trying hard to re-arrange but some say it's the hardest thing to do,,,,

....But that's just too many days without you
And I know what they say, about all good things
Will they come to an end but I'll fight this time
So that we might have a chance at this."

Tuesday I still wasn't feeling much better. A little bit but not much buuut I'll take feeling only slightly better over feeling slightly worse. I had to go up to work, on my day off, for the only reason I ever go up there when I'm off, to get my paycheck. (Yay pay day!) and go put it in my bank account.

Then it was off to the store. I was looking for medicine and needed some bathroom supplies and personal products as well. To which I must veer off subject for a moment and bitch. The last couple times I've gotten sick, a day or two in to being sick, Mother Nature gets a sense of humor on me. She thinks she's one seriously funny lady. By that I mean I get sick and then a couple days into being sick, I start my period and I start it DAYS EARLY. So I get to be sick, feel miserable from that and deal with cramps and all that bullshit that goes along with the monthly cycle of having the wonderful thing known as the female reproductive system. Seriously, including this time, the last three times I've been sick this has happened. I don't find it near as funny as the folks in the cosmos do. Anyway back on track. I also needed a box of Klennex because I can't stop fucking sneezing. I sometimes sneeze so hard I fear I'm shooting out brain matter. They didn't have the medicine I was looking for which is cool because the stuff I have seems to be working fine and I forgot the damn Kleenex again. Second day in a row I've forgot to get them. Ugh. I'm sick of using toilet tissue every time I need something but oh well.

I also rented two DVD's for $1 each. I got What Happens In Vegas and Tropic Thunder. I saw What Happens In Vegas back when it came out, Boyfriend and I both thought it looked amusing and went to see it one night when we were bored. Tropic Thunder, I had not seen yet.

So after watching What Happens In Vegas, YB, LS and I started watching Tropic Thunder. I think we got 20 minutes in, if that far, before we quit and took it out, lol. SO happy I only paid $1 to rent it. Seriously, I'd rather watch a Will Ferrell movie over having to watch even 20 minutes of that again and I can't effing stand Will Ferrell's movies.

I think I'm gonna rent Swing Vote, Righteous Kill or Max Payne next. One of those 3. I'm loving the $1 DVD rentals now, lol.

Underworld: Rise of the Lycans is out Friday! Fucking finally. Yaaaay. So excited.

I actually kind of want to watch Repo! The Genetic Opera but meh, I dunno about it. I want someone I know and trust their opinion on about movies to watch it and then let me know if it sucks complete balls or if it's semi decent to put yourself through or vice versa. I might just, you know, watch it for free and then I didn't waste anything but time if it really sucks.

I was bored and browsing around a website I love. I love pictures that tell a story. I love pictures that need no words to understand what is going on in them. I love even more pictures that do need words because what you see isn't all that is being conveyed in it. Sometimes you need the artists perspective to pick up on subtle things that make it that much better. My favorite thing about the picture I posted? (Image by TheoGoth)

The rays of light coming through the branches. I love the tree with the bare branches too. I wish I could see what this shot looked like in color though. I do absolutely love black and whites but sometimes, I wonder about the colors that would have been there instead. Rich and full? Lacking and lifeless? Shiny and bright? Shadows and rays of light? I love a good contrast as much as I love a simple black and white shot.

Something I also love in edited pictures is selective coloring. Click it, it's pretty. ;) The one thing of color surrounded by everything else in shades of grey, white and black. Even if it's a few items in color set around grey, white and black, I just love that effect. I think it looks so cool.

*Not all are work safe!* Also love this shot, this shot, this shot, this shot, this shot, this shot, this shot and this shot. All the links are a look at some of my favorite works by the awesome deviants of that website and again, not all the images are work safe so it's best not to click them if you're at work. ;)

Anyway..... =o) Enough of my ramblings. Have some questions. Or not. I always put these last for anyone who wants to skip them in favor of the real reading. ;)

Wednesday Weirdness #39

1.) Do you drive with your hands at 10 and 2 on the wheel?

Nope. =)

2.) How long do you keep cards given to you on birthdays and holidays before throwing them away? If you don't throw them out, what do you do with them?

It depends. One of my friends, Artist Guy, makes up his own Christmas cards every few years. He draws them out and they're multiple pages of crazy art and silly cartoons. He makes these for 30 to 40 people, friends and family and then sends them out. Not a single one is the same ever. They might have similarities but he always adds in a few things that are unique to each person he's making the card for. He usually starts doing these in August so he can get them all done in time. I still have the three I've gotten from him in the time we've been friends because they are the coolest fucking cards ever.

Store bought ones I don't keep that long. If there's something particular that really strikes a nerve in me, I'll keep it long enough until I write down the lines or phrases I want off the card to remember and then toss the card.
I keep homemade cards for ever because they're unique. Not another person has ever picked up one of those cards and given it to someone else because the generic words were perfect for them as well.

3.) If, when you die, you could will any one of your characteristics to your children (child/future children), what would it be and why?

Oh I have no idea. I don't even want a kid to tell you the truth. I never have and still don't. I know people tell me this will change but I have reasons why I don't want a kid. I'm even going to share them when I answer Smiley's interview questions this week. *grin* For the sake of the question since we're pretending... I would want my kid to have my ability to stand up for what
I believe in, even if it's not what the majority believes in.

4.) What is the best personality trait you got from your mother and the best personality trait that you got from your father?

I get being logical and analytical from my dad, I dig that.
I get being creative from my mom and I dig that too.

5.) What is something that you wish you had a better understanding of?

My boyfriend's mind. Sometimes, I just cannot understand his logic and it's frustrating, especially in a disagreement.

6.) What makes you nervous?

Tornadoes. Tornado warnings and watches. They freak me out. I'll go out in a hurricane and I'll sit outside in pouring rain watching thunder and lightning but tornadoes, even warnings of one, make me nervous.

7.) What is the strangest household object that you have ever or would ever use for help in masturbation?

Oh... I'm not even answering this one. Lol. =) Those who need to know do know and those who don't can always ask away from here. Not saying you'll get an answer but it never hurts to ask, right? Lol.

8.) What do you have sitting on the counter top in your bathroom?

Let me go look, lol I don't have a little wall cabinet and the cabinets underneath have clothing in them and other products. I don't have a room technically so I keep tons of shit in the storage space of the bathroom downstairs since basically no one but me really uses it for anyway. So.... Shampoo, sea salt soap, tampons, hair care products, facial care products, toothpaste, toothbrush, mouth wash, eye drops, deodorant, candles, lavender chamomile powder, sunscreen, hair brush, blow dryer, body butter and a bottle of rum. I need to put the tampons back under the counter. The rum can stay but don't ask, lol.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Saturday Survey

Saturday Survey #87901111
Brought to you by:
Amorous Rocker

If you had to change your first name and name yourself after a kind of tree and your last name after a kind of animal, what would your name be?

Willow Tiger.

If you could save your cousin's life by killing your pet, would you do it?
I don't have a pet so I guess my cousin is shit out of luck, lol. I might run out and buy a goldfish, call it my pet and then flush it. I've never had a goldfish for longer then a day or two anyway, they always die. I've kept other fish successfully too but never goldfish. *shrug*

If a genie asked you to make a wish for somebody else that wasn't friend or family, who would you make the wish for and what would it be?
Uh.... I'd have him grant common sense to all of mankind. :D

If you could have someone famous watching your back, which person would you choose to do this job?
Some famous badass bodyguard? Ooog maybe someone from the Secret Service. I guess they don't count as being famous. Hmm. Shit, I wish I knew celebs better because I can't think of a muscular one. Wait, if I'm not in trouble for anything and I've just got one following me around all day for the hell of it.... How about Maynard James Keenan, Hugh Jackman and Johnny Depp taking alternative shifts being my bodyguard? Yeaaah.

If you were to give yourself a "most likely to... " title for the next 7 days, what would that title be?
"Most Likely To Piss A Co-Worker Off By Being A Bitch"

If you were cremated, where would you want your ashes scattered?
The ocean.

If you could go back in time and talk to the you of 10 years ago, what would you most want to say?
Spend more time focusing on school, don't throw shoes at stupid boys, learn to start trying to control that temper and don't quit softball.

If you had to spend one weekend alone in a single store, you can't leave for anything but you can buy items you may need over the weekend, which store would you pick?
Super Wal-Mart. There's food, drinks, usually a Subway or McDonalds, clothes, bathrooms, pillows, blankets and toiletries. They also have some furniture out and with enough of the blankets and pillows I could drag over there, I could make one of those futons damn comfortable. Plus they have big TVs with movies playing, usually have some video games out going. Plus there are books and magazines if I get really bored and I could totally sneak those back to my futon fort and not have to actually buy them. Not to mention the fun I'd have scaring customers as I pop out from underneath my futon fort unexpectedly.

If you needed medical attention, which TV doctor would you want taking care of you?
House and his team. =D

Would you rather be able to read minds or teleport?
Oh shit. I want to do both. =( Actually, I only want to be able to read minds whenever I want to tune in, so to speak. If I had to listen to everyone's shit continually all day, I'd die.

If you could give somebody something (non-material) of yours, good or bad, such as your confidence or achy knees, what would you give and who would you give it to?
I'd like to give some of my good traits to friends but then I wouldn't have them anymore so that would suck. I don't want to give anything bad away though either. If I give my temper away, then what does that mean? I never get pissed or I'm pissed all the time because there's no balance? I have no answer, sorry, lol.

If you could teleport anywhere in the world, where would you go right now? What would be on your itinerary?
Amsterdam! Italy. London. Finland. Paris. Ireland. Sweden. Rome. I'd be tired as fuck by the time I got home, lol. Oh but first I would teleport to Texas, grab my boyfriend and take him with me to all those places.

If a friend of yours were to walk in on you naked (or half naked) would you freak out or just continue getting dressed while starting a conversation?
Oh been here, done this. I'd continue dressing and say, "Did you come in here to help? No? Then GTFO motha fucka." True story, lol. Or I'd just say something smart assed and send them on their way back out.

If a person tells you how they feel while they're drunk, should you believe it to be their true feelings or just some drunken ramblings?
I think drunken ramblings are truthful ramblings. People say the things intoxicated that they don't have the nerve or balls to say while sober. Hence the terms liquid courage, liquid balls, etc etc.

If you could go into the future, by using a time machine, how far into the future would you go and what would you like/expect to see there?
I wouldn't want to. I'm in no rush. I'll get to the future in every day I make it through, thank you very much.

If you could sit and have a face to face conversation with God, what would you say?
If that whole face to face conversation thing happened I would have to apologize first thing. Then I have no clue but I'm sure I'd have a ton of shit to ask.

If you had to choose only one of the seven deadly sins to have for the rest of your life, which one would you choose? (Lust, gluttony, sloth, greed, wrath, envy, pride)?
Why would I want only one when so many are so fun? ;)

If you are straight, would you take a million dollars to have sex with someone of the same gender?
I'm bi but shit, how about I just pretend to be straight and then I can do it for a million bucks? I can act surprised and act like I don't know what's going on at first.

If this is the best that things are going to get, would you be disappointed?
Probably at first but I'd adjust and get used to it or try harder.

If you could be anywhere right now with someone where would it be, and why would you pick this person?
My boyfriend. I want a hug. :)

Are you currently contemplating having a love affair?

Would you rather reveal your biggest secret to everyone in your life or run across the field during the SuperBowl wearing only a yellow tank top, brown cowboy boots and pink and lime green polka dot underwear?
Bring on the pink and lime green polka dot underwear.

Have you ever written a secret admirer letter to someone you had a crush on?

Friday, January 16, 2009

....paint the monster red so the blood don’t stain the floor

My post titles are ALWAYS random in the sense that the words titling the post rarely have a thing to do with the content. The ony connections that happen are either coincidence or if they're a lyrics in a song in a video I've embedded in said post. The majority of the time, my titles are lyrics from songs I love or have stuck in my head but once in a while, they're movie quotes. Today's title? Lyrics from one of my favorite songs by one of my favorite artists. Anyone know who it is? WITHOUT using Google, Yahoo or any other search engine to find out?

Thanks so much for all the comments on the post yesterday! I almost didn't post them because I wasn't sure how well the goth would go over but I was happy that it went over just fine. I got my first bit of black lipstick when I was a young little teen and thought it was cool as hell that my mom was letting me get it. Even though I wasn't really into wearing make up, I liked the black lipstick. It matches my dark makeup, dark hair and all my dark clothes. ;)

I still have interview questions to work up for a few people. I believe Shad and Viemoira both requested them and I've yet to send either of them questions yet. I also have some questions coming from Sage to do and I have some questions sitting in my inbox from a sexy, smiling woman that need answering. I will definitely let y'all know when that one goes up, you won't want to miss out on reading my answers to what that smiling curious lady wanted to know. ;)

So, it's time for... Fuck You Friday! My Fuck You today? Rude store clerks. Maybe you hate your job. Maybe your life sucks. Maybe you're disappointed you're not working the job you wanted or dreamed about. Maybe you're frustrated because the economy sucks. Maybe you're just a lazy ass who would rather be anywhere than work. Maybe you're just having an abnormally shitty day. Whatever, leave it at the door. Don't work a job where you have to deal with people face to face for hours if you can't separate your emotions for a little bit. It sucks, I know. Trust me, there are some customers I'd like to strangle because they're such bitches. There are some customers I'd like to drop kick because they're snotty little shits who look down on me for working food service. Though really, they shouldn't because then what's for dinner when their lazy ass doesn't want to cook, can't cook or doesn't have time to? Yeah, that's right. I digress. Store clerks, I don't want you snapping my head off or glaring at me just because you're having a shitty night. I didn't do shit to you and you being a dick to me because of someone or something else is rude and annoying. There's no reason to be obnoxious to nice, polite customers.

I'm not going to lie. When the movie X-Men Origins: Wolverine comes out next year, there are three reasons I'm going to see it. One reason is that Logan/Wolverine is my favorite X-Men character. The second reason is from the trailers I've seen so far, it looks pretty fucking awesome. The third reason is Hugh Jackman plays Logan/Wolverine and he is HOT. Also not a bad actor. And hot.

You know what I love? I tease my boyfriend all the time about having a hairy chest and tummy but in all actuality, he's not that hairy. He wouldn't come anywhere near passing as Sasquatch. In fact, in my brief (because I'm not dedicated enough to spend more than 5 to 10 minutes looking for a picture most of the time) image search for Jackman shots, I found this one where he's at some beach and ironically, that's about the same amount of body hair my love has. So, I love to tease Boyfriend and tell him he's a hairy beast and he laughs and says he knows. He's not so bad. I like that he has chest and stomach hair too. I like for men to look like mine and not pre-pubescent boys. Now, I don't think that some dude looks any less hot because he shaves his chest and stomach all smooth and shiny like. No sir, that doesn't take away any appeal at all honestly. A dude that looks a little rugged and manly is more my thing than a pretty boy though. Especially if he's rough looking with dark hair, light eyes and some facial hair. *swoon*

And I'm a sucker for a red head....

Simone Simons of the band Epica .

I was reading one of my favorite blogs last night and came across a post that led to a post on a different blog that just made me shake my head. roll my eyes and cuss a little. I was on yahoo messenger, chatting with Boyfriend at the time I read it too. I quoted to him the whole little thing and he laughed. I won't mention the woman's name because I don't want people googling about her coming here expecting a political blog or expecting to read more on here, lol. So follow the links and you'll see what's up. I told Boyfriend being a rapist or murderer was absolutely out of the question. Criminal as long as he didn't harm anyone wouldn't be the worst but my preference from her list was for him to be a stripper. Though I understand the statement is a big generalization that doesn't include absolutely everyone, I still think it was a ridiculous comment to make. I don't pay much attention to that particular woman at all and would have never seen it if not for one of my favorite bloggers posting a link but I do think she's a little on the clever side. I don't know if she truly believes everything she says but she certainly knows how to cause a stir.

I love this song. I've loved that band for years and years. I know I've mentioned that here likely more than once. I love his voice. I love their lyrics. Beautiful. I love this song. It makes me feel a little sad and a little happy all at once.

"Feel Good Drag" by Anberlin
I love Anberlin! I think I might have posted this song already, don't care, I'm posting it again. I admit it, I hated this song when it came out at the start of Fall last year. It took a few more listens and then I started liking it. Stephen Christian has an interesting voice. Sometimes I don't like their sound, when I'm in a certain mood. Mostly, I love listening to them.

Happy Friday!

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Fireflies circling, deep in the woods, where the lost souls hide

The wonderful and lovely Another Suburban Mom posted her interview today. You should know where to go to read her no doubt interesting answers to the questions I thought up for her.

Another awesome blogger who requested me to interview them has their questions up and answered. Go check out Baby's responses to what I inquired about.

I'm watching Ocean's 11 right now. I love this movie too. One of my boyfriend's friends, Foghat, who now is also a friend of mine because we have some things in common and get along well, sent me something and I got it in the mail today. Actually, he sent me two things but I got one today. I didn't know I was getting anything at all so I was surprised when I opened the package and saw the cover of Sweeney Todd staring up at me. Yay! This item and the one still to come are late Christmas presents from Foghat.

I got my soy candle kit that I won from Babeland through the fantastic Bad Bag Girl today. They smell fantastic. I can't wait to use them, lol. =)

Random AR fact: I pronounce the word pumpkin "pompkin" and I don't know why. Even when I try to make the u sound, it always comes out as "pom" anyway. I say the word pump just fine but pair it with kin and it comes out different.



Thursday! =)

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken...

Did you see my interview given to me by the ever amusing Hubman yesterday? Yes, I totally need to pimp that again because they were pretty damn good questions.

I got several requests from bloggers to be interviewed by me! I got a few of them done and sent out yesterday. Jormengrund not only got his questions yesterday but even got it posted too! So go check out his great answers to my questions would ya? ;)

My friend Kitten is one of my best friends. One of the only female ones I have. She's 20 and she never fails to make me laugh. We've been friends for around 4 years now. I've been anxiously awaiting news from her for the last couple days and each text I've gotten from her in those days had me wondering if this was finally it. My most recent texts for her calmed my anxious little self down because she had her baby last night! Yay! Her little boy was due to make his crying, messy little debut on the 10th so he was only a few days late. She sent me a text an hour and a half after she gave birth to let me know he was finally here and that he was a healthy, adorable little fella. I congratulated her and told her to get some rest. She sent me another text 4 hours later, it was a picture message. Her fiancee was in the picture with the wrapped up baby in his cute little cap to keep his head warm. It was one of the absolute cutest pictures ever and I'm a little sad that I can't share it here because it's that damn cute of a picture, lol. Anyway, I'm happy for her and her future hubby. Yay!

I watched Fight Club last night. I hadn't realized that movie is almost 10 years old! It was released mid-October of 1999. Holy shit, lol. It's one of my favorite movies. Also the only movie where I find Brad Pitt to be a sexy mother fucker.I don't normally find him to be sexy, at all. In this movie though? Yes, because he's half naked, splattered/covered in blood during a lot of it, playing a completely strange role and in the end he's just a figment of pretty little Edward Norton's deranged, sleepless mind.

My favorite quotes from the movie?

"People do it everyday, they talk to themselves... they see themselves as they'd like to be, they don't have the courage you have, to just run with it."

"It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything."

"The things you own end up owning you."

"And then, something happened. I let go. Lost in oblivion. Dark and silent and complete. I found freedom. Losing all hope was freedom."

"Man, I see in fight club the strongest and smartest men who've ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off."

It's Wednesday and that means... that it's Wednesday. Duh. Oh and it's time for the Weirdness. I got credit for helping with these questions but I only gave the idea for one of them, lol. Hmm, who can guess which one? ;) Thank you though for the credit Bella!

Did you play with us today?

Wednesday Weirdness #38

These questions are all hypothetical scenarios. Read along and have fun! ANSWER HONESTLY!

1- Times are hard and you get laid off. You turn to the adult entertainment industry and decide to get into sexing it up on camera. You're now a porn star. Even though you now do porn for a living, you still hold on to a little morale, ethics and dignity. What are 3 things, sexually, that you rule out as absolutely not happenings no matter the amount of money?

No beastiality. No bodily fluids that belong in a toilet. No dudes with scary cocks the size of a liter bottle of coke. Seriously, can I just do lesbian porn? That would be cool. =)

2- Pretend you spent a busy day running errands and come home in the afternoon when no one else is home. You come in, sit things down and head to the kitchen. You find a dead body laying in the kitchen floor. What would you do?

How do I know they're really dead? I'd probably check and make sure they're dead. Making sure to cover my hands with rubber gloves. Dish gloves if there are no rubber gloves. Then once I find out they are really dead, probably trip out a little and wonder how the fuck a dead body got into my kitchen. Seriously, these things don't just fall from the ceiling. Then I'd run out the house, jump in to my car and get away from my house in case whoever killed the stranger in my house was sitting upstairs eating my ice cream and playing Xbox or something. Oh and while I'm freaking out and wondering how and why the body is there as I drive away, I'd call the police and let them know what's up. I assume they would be concerned over such a thing.

3- After some extensive testing, scientists found out you have a special supernatural skill that could be put to use to save 20,000 men and women all over the world. The only catch is after you use it, you will die. If you don't use it, 30,000 people will die but you'll still be alive and won't suffer any illness or strange side effects of your special supernatural skill. Are you willing to sacrifice your life for 20,000 people?

I think most people are going to say yes, they would in response to this question. I think not being actually faced with this decision makes it a hell of a lot easier to say yes. The thing that makes you seem like a courageous, brave, selfless person would be to say yes. To seem like a good person is to say yes. I'm not doubting the goodness of anyone at all. I'm saying to never have to face this, it's far more easy to say yes. My answer is no. I don't think my life is more important than those 20,000 people but I'm not willing to give it up. I'm not willing to die for someone that I don't love from the bottom of my heart. Though I'm sure I'd feel incredibly selfish and guilty as fuck afterward.
If it were true and it came right down to it, in the moment of absolute truth and reality, I know a lot of people who say yes now would be screaming no then. Or maybe when the time came, I'd say yes and so would many more. It's easy to say one way or another when you don't actually have to deal with it. I hope I never have to find out what I'd do.

4- You are at a concert. A fight breaks out and the person in front of you gets hit by the person beside you. They turn around and think it's you and no amount of reasoning will convince them otherwise. They are taller by several inches and outweigh you by around 50 pounds. You are about to get punched and possibly manhandled. How do you get out of it and avoid injury?

I probably don't avoid injury. I almost always get into something at shows. I'd probably fight back because I'm too stubborn (and brainless when it comes to these things) to turn around and run away. Sometimes I know I should but I'm aggressive and I have a bad temper. Not to mention my first emotion often is to jump straight to anger. So someone about to punch me would piss me the fuck off and I'd want to punch them back. Even if they are bigger than I am. Unless there are weapons other than fists of fury involved. I don't stick around if weapons are coming out. I'm not so stubborn that I'm willing to get shot or stabbed just because I'm stubborn and have a bad temper, lol.

5- You're having a dinner party with your close friends. One close friend asks if it is fine if they bring a date along. You ask your friend if their date is someone they trust to act well mannered and respectful to others. Your friend sings the praises of their date and you agree to let them bring their date to the dinner party. Once there, their date turns out to be crude, obnoxious, disrespectful and all around a real vile ass to be around. Do you tough it out and later apologize to your other guests? Pull your friend aside and tell them to reign in their date? Confront the friends date about their vile behavior?

I politely ask my friend to have a word with their date, asking them to tone it down a bit and start acting right.
Maybe they're being obnoxious because they're nervous. ;) It isn't my responsibility per se to be the date police but I'm not having the rest of my guests and myself be subjected to someone I couldn't care less about causing problems and making the night unpleasant for everyone. It's fine if you're an obnoxious ass but learn some respect for other people and learn to tone it down. If talking to my friend didn't work, I'd take the date aside privately and politely ask them to chill the fuck out or run the risk of getting smacked. Then later, I'd tell my friend never to bring that person back unless they learn some fucking manners. ;)

Of course, if the date turned into a more permanent fixture in my friends life, that would suck but none of my friends have ever dated a winner that meets that description so woohoo. The worst I've ever had to deal with is a stuck up bitch or two and some loud slutty broads that weren't there to be around long anyway. Though really I've got no clue how I would react. I'd probably pop off and say something and end up making things worse some how, lol. I don't do dinner parties. Friends come over, food is had, we hang out doing whatever it is we are going to do. Good times roll on. Yeah baby.

6- You go to the grocery store and bump carts with a woman. She gets angry and chants at you in gibberish. She smiles, informing you that she has cursed you to never have sex again unless you pay for it. You roll your eyes and walk off. 2 years later and you haven't had any sexual contact with another person since that day. Do you start paying for sex or just never have sexual contact with another person again?

I'm not paying for sex. Although in a sense, I have to buy my vibrators and that would be my sole source of pleasure since I can't have sex. So in a sense, I'm still paying for sex either way. However, the vibrator/masturbation route is cheaper and safer and I'd be perfectly content with that. Of course, I could just give my boyfriend a penny each time I wanted sexy time and technically, I'd be giving him money in exchange for sex. =)

7- Your really good friend is going to their grandmother's house for dinner and invites you along. You make sure it is fine with their grandmother and she says to come along if you like, she has made more than enough food to feed you too. You go. While there, you accidentally break something extremely valuable to your friends grandmother. Do you hide it and pretend nothing every happened or come clean?

Come on, really? Who would hide it and pretend nothing happened? That is so shameful. I would feel like shit but I would own up to it, apologize my ass off and offer to replace it or do something to try and make up for it. I've actually had something like this happen. I tripped on loose carpet in the house of a friend's parents and I fell into a little table and broke an engraved glass picture frame. I apologized for being a klutz and offered to pay for it. My friends mom said I wouldn't have tripped had her husband fixed the damn carpet and only let me pay for half the frame to be replaced.

Happy Wednesday! ;)

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Oh boy let me tell you, it's a long one yeah...

I have to say hooray to my Dallas Stars for winning last night against Detroit! Hell yeah baby! GO STARS! We won in overtime. I still haven't watched the game. I know for some people, knowing the outcome ruins watching the game. For me? Obviously not. I love watching, even if I know who will win. I haven't seen all the awesome plays, hard hits, would've been awesome plays, shitty plays, oh my gosh I can't believe they missed that, what the fuck was that and everything else that makes up the game. It's not all about the winning and losing, I like the whole experience. Especially when we win. :D

Thank you all for the well wishes, good juju, prayers and etc for my friend SS. I appreciate it!

DON'T FORGET! Wednesday Weirdness is up this afternoon so you have time to nab and answer the questions for posting on Wednesday! Come play with us.

Did you notice the Flickr badge I put over on my side content panel? I made most of the content private for friends only. There is plenty to see in public content though. Well, not really so much. I'm hoping to get out tomorrow to get some badass scenery and nature shots though so I can add more to my Flickr than just me. I do have a picture project going on. I call it Project 365. I put up 1 picture, every single day, for an entire year. I'm now 13 days in to it and I'm doing fine. I even had an awesome blogger e-mail me a list with ideas for when I start to run dry. Project 365 is viewable to anyone so check that out and feel free to leave comments accordingly. If you try and add me on there as a contact, make sure I know who you are or message me and tell me who you are. Also thank you to the awesome friend who gifted me with the Pro account. ;)

I've got an interview to post. I know you've all seen these around on various blogs. I'm cheating and had a few people do them for me. It's always interesting to see the kinds of questions people will come up with for you to answer.

Want to be part of it? Follow these instructions:
1. Leave me a comment saying, “Interview me.”
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

I won't cry if no one wants me to interview them by the way, lol. I'll have fun with it of anyone does but I won't shed a tear or feel worse for it if no one does. Onward. Questions courtesy of the handsome and amusing Hubman.

1) It's no secret that you are bi-sexual. You have to chose- for the rest of your life, men or women? Which is it and why?

Ah! I've been asked this question before and honestly, I hate it every single time but not as much as I used to. I'm very confident in my relationship with Boyfriend. We've gotten to the point where he likes to bring up the "M" word (marriage) and I don't feel the need to run fleeing in the other direction. So, to give up men would be to give him up and that, I can't imagine doing. So I pick men and for that reason, I'd lose him if I chose women and he's the best thing that's ever happened in my life. If we however, end up not working out, I might have a different answer entirely, lol.

2) You refer to yourself as dark and moody. Tell us something bright and sunshiney about you!

This was actually the hardest question on here sadly, lol. I found something though! I hate to see other people sad or down. I have a great sense of humor and I'm a silly, goofy girl. I'm always trying to cheer up people when they're down. Even if I end up making myself look like a total dork or even a fool, I don't care. I hate to see most people down in the dumps so I try my best to make them laugh or cheer them up. :) Oh and does the fact that I collect plush penguins count as bright and sunshiney count? How about that I sleep with one of the little guys cuddled in bed with me because it's comforting? Or that I collect other things with penguins on them such as coffee mugs, glasses and etc? Or the fact that I get so ridiculously giddy when I watch the movie Happy Feet? Oh and I'm totally like a little kid when it comes to Disney movies, Pixar films and some other animated cute movies, I just love love love them. I think that all counts as bright and sunshiney. ;)

3) You're a big Dallas Stars fan. What was your reaction to the comments Sean Avery made and how the team dealt with him as a result?

I think the comments weren't that bad. Worse has been said. It wasn't that the comment about his ex-girlfriends dating other NHL players and referring to them as his "sloppy seconds" was that horrendous. Like I said, worse has been said. Calling the media to him just for that was pathetic. It was just the icing on the cake and the thing that finally did him in. You can read about how he's not a good teammate, defies coaches, wants to sit out on drills, sits in the hallways between periods listening to music over being in the locker room and just in general being a pure and total shithead and bad teammate. Then there's his on ice antics where he's a shithead again. Then there's the fact that he likes to bend and break every rule and expect to be the exception to the rule because he's got talent and skills. Then there's his attitude about how he doesn't know if he can play well or not from day to day, it just depends on how he feels. He's a bad sport and acts like the world should revolve around him. Now ironically, I like the guy as a player for the most part. I think if he got his head on straight and could stop being such a fucking douchebag drama king, he'd be a valuable asset. I think they handled him and the situation the best way they could. I hope whatever they have him doing treatment wise will help but I doubt there's much to that, lol. Which sucks because he really is a talented player. It sucks to see such talent go to waste because someone won't focus and do what's necessary to play as a team. Though they should have known with his record what they were getting in to when they signed him.

4) Why did you start your blog and who was the first blogger that you regularly read?

I've been writing online on public journals and blogs since I was about 14. Livejournal, blogdrive and a couple other places before those before I landed here. I always kept so much inside and it started to build up too much and I needed a release. So I started blogging as a way to let off steam, vent my frustrations, confess to things, talk out issues, voice my opinions and on and on. It was somewhere that I could deal with things in my own way.

The first journal I ever read was a friend's Xanga. We're no longer friends anymore. Most of the journals and blogs I read once I began belonged to real life friends and friends of real life friends and on so on and so forth.

I decided to get rid of blogdrive when I was 18 because I hated the setup and hated how cliquey everyone was around there. I started up on blogspot and though I've changed my URL several times, I've had the same name. So there were four blogspot bloggers that I read regularly and I couldn't tell you which of them was first. So, there is Steve and Zombie, neither of whom blog on those blogs anymore. I read Steve from almost the beginning and though I didn't believe a great deal of that blog to be true, it was definitely entertaining.
Then there is That Dude From Philly. And last but not least, Oh My Gads, A Lunar Snow Storm. The blog doesn't exist anymore since he has long since packed up and moved on. He was hilarious, semi twisted and made me think though.

5) You've written that your mother is an excellent chef. If she were to prepare your favorite dish, what would that be and why?

Hmm..I have a lot of favorite dishes honestly, lol. One of my favorite dishes is chicken parmigiana so I'm going with that. My mom makes great Italian dishes (given there's some Italian flowing through those veins, lol) and it would be delicious. I don't get to eat it hardly either. I don't even remember the last time I had it honestly. Damn, now I want to have a plate of it. My mouth is watering just thinking about it. Mmmm.

TMI Tuesday
Just because I haven't played in forever.
Though I know all of these have been asked before but oh well.

1. On a scale of 1-10, how satisfied are you with your sex life?

I suppose a 1. My boyfriend is 2,000 miles away and I have seen him twice in the almost 6 months we've been that far apart. I don't think any further explanation is needed there. :)

2. If someone shoves you up against a wall while kissing you, your reaction is?

If I don't know them, they're getting violence bestowed upon them in the form of my fists of punching fury.

If it's my boyfriend or some hot chick I'm interested in, I assume that I would act in a very positive manner that would in turn no doubt have me reciprocating their actions.

3. What is the most romantic thing anyone has ever done or said to you?

I'm not the romantic type. Among several, one of my favorite dates with my boyfriend takes place in a noisy sports bars, enjoying some unhealthy food, alcohol and a damn good sports game while yelling and cheering together as we watch our team play. Not so romantic. I'm more about having fun, laughing and having a good time together. I don't like a lot of things that girls typically swoon over. Romance makes me feel awkward. Which is half my problem with Valentines Day in all honesty aside from just thinking it's a completely ridiculous and commercial holiday. (Sorry baby, I know you love V-Day.) I was a tomboy as a kid and though I do have some girlish things about me, I'm still a tomboy inside here.

4. Where is the most unusual place you have ever had sex?

On a pirate ship in the middle of the Mojave Desert. This was in a dream I had a couple months ago. Though it's pretty straight forward in the phrasing, there's nothing that says I can't use dream sex as my answer. ;)

5. How do you liked to be kissed?

Softly. Gently. Little whispers of lips trailing down neck and shoulders, barely existing, causing goosebumps to rise and break out across any area touched. Roughly, with pressure and intense passion in a way that makes it seem as my partner is trying to devour me through our mouths. Hard. With lips and tongue. With lips alone. Gentle biting and sucking along the lower lip before roughly kissing with the mouth as if life depended on the intensity of that kiss. Sweet kisses planted along the chin, the lips, the forehead and temples. Soft but firm little reminders of the love and intimacy we share. In case you can't tell, I love kissing. Very much. :D

Happy Tuesday y'all!