Wednesday, November 12, 2008

I couldn't decide.

Here's my Tuesday at a glance. A long glance, lol.

Woke up after sleeping for two hours.

Went back to sleep.

Woke up.

Went to the bathroom.

Checked movie times.

Took youngest brother to see Madagascar 2.

Sat in crowded movie theater and laughed quite a bit.

Enjoyed the movie.

Went home.

Walked through front door, remembered I was supposed to stop and pick up whipping cream for the things my mom was making.

Went to store for whipping cream.

Got whipping cream, gift wrap, a card and tape.

Went home.

Put stuff away.

Put on rollerblades.

Rollerblading with youngest brother as he rode his bicycle.

Let youngest brother use rollerblades.

Had dinner.

Took shower.

Watched the Stars game.

Text boyfriend.

Yelled at TV.

Text boyfriend.

Yelled at TV.

Sat in suspense with nerves on edge during over time and the shoot out.

Saddened by the loss but happy we still got a point anyway since it went to OT.

Got online.

Did research briefly.

Called boyfriend and talked for a little over an hour.

Bitched and vented.

Laughed and enjoyed the sound of his voice.

Said goodnight and hung up.

Read two chapters in Stephen King book.

Washed face.

Had late snack.

Talked to a friend briefly.

Got online.

Checked myspace.

Ignored messages feeling slightly antisocial.

Checked email.

Still feeling slightly antisocial.

Scratched nail polish off nails.

Watched an episode of something on DVR with mom.

Contemplated reading some blogs.

Read another chapter in Stephen King book instead.

Brushed teeth.

Drank a bottle of water.

Contemplated trimming ends of hair.

Read another chapter in Stephen King book.

Wrote in journal.

After that, I half assed watched some crap on Nick At Nite. I tried to get sleepy. I've been getting sleepy early on in the night when times I can't sleep. Then once everyone is in bed or at least in their room and all downstairs is quiet and dark, I'm wide awake again. Then I'm up way too late because I can't sleep until I'm just physically unable to stay awake any longer. I don't really need any kind of advice here, I'm just bitching. :D

I need to get my butt to the post office Wednesday (todaaay) or Thursday. I have a package to send my love. I was holding off because I wanted to find a card and some random little things to go in the box along with the things I was already sending. Mission accomplished, now I just need to get it all together and get to the post office.

Vixen does a thing on Wednesday's called Controversial Question Wednesday. Today's question?

DO all women want that proverbial Fairytale happy ending? And does it really exist despite all the complications life brings us?

I can't answer that for all women but the answer, FOR ME, is no. I don't think like that. I think more realistically and less emotionally. I never daydreamed about my wedding or put any thought in to it. Actually, until rather recently, I was certain I never wanted to get married. Not because I didn't think I'd ever find the one but because it's not something that ever appealed to me. I never daydreamed about finding a "Prince Charming" and I've never thought of any guy as a Prince Charming, Knight in Shining Armor or any of that stuff. Not even my current boyfriend who I love, adore and find absolutely amazing. I find Fairytales to be so unrealistic and I get that they aren't to be taken literally but to be taken on a simple premise. Find a man, fall in love, be happy, have a family, a decent house and live happily ever after. Or some such variation.

I don't care about marriage one way or another. If I get married one day, that would be great but if I don't, I'd be okay with that too. It's not something that's ever been important to me. Later this month, I'll have been with my boyfriend 2 and 1/2 years. By the end of April next year, we'll have known each other 4 years. We both have friends and other people we know who ask when we're going to get married. We're content and happy with each other and don't have an interest in finding anyone else. So why not get married? That's what a lot of people think and don't understand why it isn't something either of us is very concerned with now.

I love kids but I don't think I would be a good mother. I have a list of reasons why I probably would be and an equal list to why I wouldn't be. The main reason is that I don't have an interest in having children of my own. I don't believe in having a child unless you are willing to fully commit yourself to them. Not to say you lose your identity and have absolutely no life of your own but I think your children should become the biggest part of your life as they're learning and growing up.

Things that are important to me are getting a career going and getting myself in order. I think of a happy ending as going home at the end of the day and being satisfied with myself and my life. Being happy with who I am as a person and being happy with what I'm doing. Maybe not every day because hell, we all have bad days. I'm not looking for a happy ending or a fairytale romance or lifestyle. I just want to do the best I can, get all I can out of life, accomplish a few of my more serious and some less serious goals and enjoy life while I'm here. If I have an amazing partner to share all of that with, it just makes it that much better.

Ahem. :)

I'm skipping WW today. I'm just not feeling the questions. I'm also just not in the mood to play anything. It happens. :)

Love this song.

Happy Wednesday y'all.


Jennybean said...

sounds like you helped your brother to have a great day!

sorry about the sleep issues... that sucks!

Nolens Volens said...

That's something to ponder about with your answer to Vixen's question. As for sleep issues, try BORING shows. Not Nick at Nite. LOL

Weekends Off said...

Happy Wednesday! I would make a list like that but you are far busier than I am. Mine would read

1. Woke up
2. Cooked food
3. Ate food
4. Watched TV
5. Cooked some more.
6. Ate some more
7. Watched more TV
8. Went to bed.

Jormengrund said...

Great post AR!

You know, questions like Vixen's usually tend to get me into trouble, so I'll just read everyone else's answers, and keep my opinion to myself on this one.

Hopefully you'll be able to get some sleep soon, and have a good time afterwards!

Best of luck to your Stars!

(My 'Lanche aren't doing very well, either, but the Devils are!)

phairhead said...

Thank God you haven't drank the "fairy tale" Kool-Aid. fuck society's expectations!

Cher said...

Happy Wed!

Vixen said...

Thank you! Finally, this is what I was wanting to hear from people regarding my question! LOL

I think of a happy ending as going home at the end of the day and being satisfied with myself and my life. Being happy with who I am as a person and being happy with what I'm doing.

Love your answer chickie. :

About the being a mom thing. Ya just never know. How you feel now, or 5 years from now, may change a lot by the time you are in your thirties. Who knows. :)

TUG said...

That list made ME tired :)

I think your answer was perfect!

The song is also great. Hadn't heard that before.