Sunday, November 30, 2008

UM and Sunday Survey

Unconscious Mutterings

  1. Sleepy :: Egyptian Cotton Sheets!

  2. Thanksgiving :: Family and too much food. =X Lol.

  3. Fifteen :: More minutes! (Of sleep)

  4. Authority :: Mom.

  5. Bangs :: Explosion.

  6. Curled :: Up in a ball.

  7. Young man :: Short life.

  8. Surprised :: Mystified.

  9. Mistake :: Learn.

  10. Handle it :: Accountability.

Ever bite your toenails and eat the piece you pull off?
EWW. Nooo.

Would you eat whipped cream on your pizza?
Hmm. I might try it once but I doubt I would like it, lol.

In the morning do you pick the crusty stuff out of your eyes?
I rarely have any of that.

Have you ever tasted your own blood?
Yes and I was not impressed.

Are you sweating right now?
Nope. I'm a little chilly.

What were you doing at 3:00pm?
It's only 3:02 PM right now and I'm watching the start of the Stars game. GO STARS!

Would you rather eat or sleep?
It depends on whether I'm more sleepy or more hungry, lol.

Last time you were in a cemetery?
I don't remember. I think 6 or 7 months ago.

Do you like blue cheese?
It's not my favorite but I don't shun it.

When at the grocery store do you use the self checkout?
If I don't have many items, I definitely prefer the self-checkout. If I have a lot, I won't. I feel like an ass holding up all the people with only a few items while I go through my 60 items, lol.

How do you make your money?
Selling my body on the mean streets. It's a cold, cold world.

What is a compliment you receive often?
Eyes, hair, boobs.

Why did your last relationship end?
Because it wasn't working.

Do you wear your seatbelt in the car?

Are you scared of flying?
Meh, it makes me anxious.

What jewelry do you wear all the time?
My ring from Boyfriend and some rubber bracelets I just never take off.

Are you left handed?

Do you own a gun?
Not yet... =) My next one will be a paintball gun. I miss my old one.

Do you get nervous before doctor appointments?
Depends on what I'm there for.

What do you think of hotdogs?
They are honest and hardworking. They definitely get a bad rap in the mixed-meat product community but they're not for me.

What do you prefer to drink in the morning?

Do you own slippers?

House in the middle of the woods, or condo in the middle of a big city?
I'd take both, thanks. ;)

What is your favorite state you've visited, but not lived in?
I don't have a favorite to visit. Yet. =)

What's in your pocket?
Your mom. Er wait. No pockets in these pants.

Does someone have a crush on you?
Yeah and it's annoying.

Name 3 thoug​hts you have at this exact​ momen​t?​
1. Damn that pizza was good.
2. That was a good fight just now during the hockey game.
3. I really don't want to go to work because I wanna watch the whole Stars game, lol.

When do you get butte​rflie​s in your stoma​ch?​
Never, I don't eat butterflies.

Who was the last perso​n you had a deep conve​rsati​on with?​

What are you liste​ning to right​ now?
STARS GAME! This survey will take forever because I only type during commercials and non-play moments, lol.

Where​ were you at 2:00 this morni​ng?​
At work. Finally getting it closed down.

What will you be doing​ in a half hour?​
Getting dressed for work.

Do you know how to count to ten in a language other than your primary one?
Yeah. Spanish and Italian.

When was the last time you saw your grand​pa?​
Thanksgiving Day. =D

Do you drink​ tea?
Oh yes! Yum.

Have you ever been out past curfe​w?​
I never had a curfew.

Where​ is your siste​r/​broth​er right​ now?
22 is sitting in front of me deciding what to eat, youngest brother is outside playing and little sister is upstairs I think.

Guita​r Hero or Rock-​Band?​

Has anyon​e ever told you that you have prett​y eyes?​

Have you ever kisse​d anyon​e whose​ name start​ed with S?
Yes! =)

Have you ever kisse​d anyon​e whose​ name start​ed with R?

Does anyon​e call you babe?​
Hmm yeah. A couple of my friends do sometimes.

Do you like choco​late cover​ed pretz​els?​
Oh yeah! Dark chocolate Hershey's pretzels. MMMMMM!

Did someo​ne die in that last movie​ you watch​ed?​
Yes! The last movie I watched was the new James Bond, Quantum of Solace.

Is winte​r usual​ly an enjoy​able seaso​n for you?
I love it!

Do you run your finge​rs throu​gh your hair when you get stres​sed?​

Have you ever gotte​n stuck​ in traff​ic on the way to somet​hing impor​tant?​
Yes but I usually try to always leave early just in case that happens.

When did you last exper​ience​ a "​blond​e momen​t"​?​
Oh I don't even know. I rarely have those... Lol.

Friday, November 28, 2008

Airport blogging. :)

So I'm sitting in the airport right now. I had a two hour and ten minute layover between flights. I got some food. I much enjoyed my five dollar mini pizza and three dollar side salad. Along with the two dollar bottled water and four dollar coffee to wake my ass up, lol. I'm not complaining actually. A few of the shops and food stops were more expensive. Like the one that was charging 3.15 plus tax for a bottled water. PFFFT, keep your water. Wonder why no ones in your store? Hmmm. Lol.

I checked out a few shops. I found a HUGE vending machines that vended Apple products. Yep. Several different types of iPods, the iPhone and several other things. Along with accessories like power chords and ear phones.

On the way to my gate, this couple walking behind me were in a big rush I suppose. The husband plowed over me, I stumbled and tried to regain balance but couldn't so I fell down as he moved around me.
Then his wife stepped over me and crunched my finger tips as she kept hustling by. I didn't see them obviously since they came up from behind me. No clue how they missed seeing me but yeah. Neither of them stopped or said anything as they hustled on by either. Cocksuckers. A dude from Tennessee and one of the airport employees both came over and asked if I was okay and if I needed help though. I wasn't hurt, just pissed off, lol. :)

Well, my flight boards in about 15 minutes so off I go. Later y'all!

Happy Friday!

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Wednesday Weirdness: Thanksgiving Edition

I'm still here.

Just very busy. ;)

Wednesday Weirdness. Play here. Questions courtesy of the lovely ASM.

1. What are you thankful for this year?
My boyfriend. It sounds cheesy but he's helped me through a lot. We've gone through a lot this year. I didn't write nor talk to very many people about it. I like to keep our troubles and issues between us for the most part. I'm just happy we've been able to get through some rough spots and be okay. I'm happy he's been there to help me through some things when I wasn't sure how to or if I could.

My family. They're always there when I need them. My family drives me nuts sometimes but I love them and I'm always thankful to have them.

A few of my friends. For the same reasons pretty much. It's so good to have awesome people in your life who support and help when it's needed and providing laughter and fun times.

I'm also thankful for having my wisdom tooth removed. That thing was causing me so much pain. With my mouth being in pain and causing me earaches and headaches too. Ick! Lol.

2. Since some of our participants are not in the US, what do you think about Thanksgiving?

3. What is your favorite part of the holiday/ your least favorite.
Being around lots of people and the food. Least favorite is being around a couple people I'd just rather punch in the mouth rather than anything else but I really can't. Also least favorite is the food. Lol. The food is good and bad you know. ;)

4. Mashed Potatoes or Sweet Potatoes?
Mashed. Sweet potatoes are okay but the couple times I've tried eating them I ended up with my stomach hurting later. I threw some back up once and eww.

5. Do you own eating pants? Describe.
Nope, I don't, lol.

6. What is your favorite thing to do with the Thanksgiving leftovers?
Eat them later. ;) Lol. Turkey is good for turkey sandwiches. I'm not much on leftovers though honestly. I forget they're there and don't mess with them again for the most part but there are some exceptions to that, just not many, lol.

7. Who are you most looking forward to seeing? Least?
My boyfriend was the person I most looked forward to seeing and he's laying next to me now so woohoo. :D I'm looking forward to seeing my grandparents quite a bit though. :) Least? Meh. No one I'm going to see so yay.

8. Do you go shopping on the day after Thanksgiving?
Never have. I don't like to go shopping as it is. Black Friday doesn't appeal to me. The money you save isn't worth the sanity I would lose. ;)

Happy Wednesday!

Monday, November 24, 2008

I need something more, to keep on breathing for...

Music Monday.

Today, I'm displaying "Believe" by The Bravery .

I've found myself struggling lately with what I believe in and what I don't believe in. I don't mean in a religious or a spiritual sense. I mean in a general sense that covers much more than religion and spirituality. I've grown and changed a little. When I was younger, I was influenced a lot by what was around me. Like most people are. In the last few years, I've explored a lot and got into a lot on my own. Some things I used to think as weird and other certain things I used to be very against. I've learned recently that in some of my dislikes, it was really on a lack of understanding and a lack of being able to relate that made me against these things. Something I believed in up until this last year, I'm now against and wouldn't take any part of it.

Which brings me to why I picked the music video I did for today's post.
Sometimes I pick a video because I like the song and love the video. I never pick a video where I don't at least like the song though. For this one, I don't care much for the video but I absolutely fucking love this song. :) The lyrics are the thing about this song that I love the most. Not the music itself, which isn't bad. Not the vocals though I do like his voice. Not the video because as I said, already, it doesn't do anything for me or interest me too much at all. Not for the looks of the people in the band but simply the words they sing and meaning I find in them.

"The faces all around me they don't smile they just crack
Waiting for our ship to come but our ships not coming back
We do our time like pennies in a jar
What are we saving for
What are we saving for

There's a smell of stale fear and it's reeking from our skins
The drinking never stops because the drinks absolve our sins
We sit and grow our roots into the floor
What are we waiting for
What are we waiting for

So give me something to believe
Cause I am living just to breathe
And I need something more
To keep on breathing for
So give me something to believe

Something's always coming you can hear it in the ground
It swells into the air
With the rising
Rising sound
And never comes but shakes the boards and rattles all the doors
What are we waiting for
What are we waiting for

[repeat chorus]

I am hiding from some beast
But the beast was always here
Watching without eyes
Because the beast is just my fear
That I am just nothing
Now its just what I've become
What am I waiting for
Its already done

So give me something to believe
Cause I am living just to breathe
And I need something more
To keep on breathing for
So give me something to believe"

Happy Monday!

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Hockey hockey food mutter

I love that we have NHL's Center Ice Package and a DVR to record the games I don't get to watch due to being at work. The Stars played Anaheim last night and I got to watch some of the first period before having to take off to get to work. I'm watching the game right now. I love skipping through the commercials. They lost in a shoot out but each team still gets a point each for making it into over time. Still, a win would've been even better. It was a damn good game though! We play the Flyers on Monday night. My friend Philly is going to the game. He's a Flyers fan, of course. I didn't nickname him Philly for nothing you know. ;) I really hope we win. I don't want to listen to him gloat if my Stars lose, lol.

A blogger friend was asking me who my favorite player on the Stars is. The answer to that is Mike Modano. He's been my favorite player since I was 9 years old. They also asked if I had a player on the team that I didn't care for. There are tons of players I don't care for on other teams, just none of the Stars. I didn't like Antti Miettinen too much but he no longer plays for us so I can't count him. I used to not care for defenseman Trevor Daley much but he's grown on me as a player this season. I was uncertain about Sean Avery at the beginning of the season. I didn't like or dislike him but I thought he'd be a good addition to the team if he kept his head out of his ass and watched his mouth and oddball antics. So far, he has been a good addition to the team and I really dig him as a player too. :) Other favorite Stars are Marty Turco, Steve Ott, Mike Ribeiro, Sergei Zubov, Darryl Sydor, Stephane Robidas, Jere Lehtinen, Loui Erikkson and Brenden Morrow. So basically, most of the team are my favorite players. ;) And no, I didn't need to check on the correct spelling for any of those names, lol.

I tried a new dessert appetizer thing at work last night. They won't be introduced until December but we got them in this week. My crazy crackhead boss opened up a bag and made them up for everyone to try. They looked gross. They tasted so fucking good. An hour later, they didn't taste so good as I puked the two bite size pieces back up. Along with my sandwich and side salad that had been my dinner. Disgusting. They had not let the dessert appetizer bites cook long enough. I think. A couple of the guys started getting stomach aches too. They're going to try them again and let them cook a bit longer before eating them up. I don't think I'll eat them again. I hate throwing up. My throat has already been sore and irritated the last few days. That didn't help at all, lol.

I can't figure out what I want to get Boyfriend for Xmas. I have everything else for everyone figured out, I just need to get on the ball and get the stuff purchased, lol. My boy really wants car parts to fix up his IROC Camaro but I can't afford to buy any of the parts he needs, lol. So I have a few ideas but they're also expensive ideas as well. I'll get something figured out though. :D

Unconscious Mutterings

They say... I think....

  1. Spit it out :: get on with the story.
  2. Shadow :: silhouette
  3. Database :: computer
  4. Expression :: emotion
  5. Boss :: is a crazy fucking crackhead. :D
  6. Baby :: diapers
  7. Mystic :: dreams
  8. Kate :: Beckinsale is hot!
  9. Boobies :: big.
  10. Raid :: the cookie jar.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Saturday Survey

Do you remem​ber your first​ favor​ite song?​ If so, what was it?
Yes, I do! It was "Pour Some Sugar On Me" by Def Leopard. I was a very little kiddo and had no clue what the song really meant but I loved it. I still dig it. :)

What do you refus​e to eat?
Menudo! Lol. Shrimp. Tried it so many different ways and I just don't care for it. Squid. Tried it once and EWW. Cooked cabbage. It's not appealing at all to moi and the smell alone grosses me out. There is definitely more I'm sure but I just can't think of anything else right now.

Have you ever injec​ted any kind of drug before?
Heh, actually I had to inject my boyfriend with some medication for a while after his last major stint in the hospital. I felt bad because his stomach was all bruised from the injections but it wasn't as bad looking as some pictures I saw from reading about the medication. Illegal drugs? No. I never tried anything I had to shoot up.

Do amusement park rides make you sick?
Nope! Love them.

Who is your favorite Star Wars character?
I'm not a fan, lol. Last time I watches Star Wars I think I was 12...

What kind of cheese do you put on your sandwiches?
Oh my gosh! It depends on my mood and the kind of sandwich it is of course. I love so many different types of cheese. Mmmm. :D

What was the first thing you ever learned how to cook?
Macaroni and cheese!

Did you ever collect beanie babies?
No, not really. I think I had a few given to me as gifts but it just wasn't something I got really into.

When was the last time you got a haircut?
Ummm... I trimmed my hair myself the other day because I was bored. A few months ago, I gave myself a hair cut because I was bored. I don't remember the last time I paid someone else to do it.

Have you ever been to a bachelor/bachelorette party?
Yes! So fun.

Where are you most ticklish on your body?
I'm not even saying. And I'm only ticklish when I'm in a certain mood otherwise, nothing at all on me is ticklish.

Have you ever bailed anyone out of jail?
Yes. Stupid on a few of those accounts. Should have left them sitting there because the ones I'm talking about didn't learn a fucking thing and ended up back in there again wanting to be bailed out again for the same shit. I don't help twice when it's for the same damn thing as the last time. /rant Lol.

What's the last board game you played?
Probably Monopoly or LIFE.

Do you still own any VHS tapes?
Lol, yes.

Do you shop at JC Penny's ever?

If there was a real Jurassic Park, would you visit it?
Sure! That'd be fun. So long as it didn't end up like the movies.

Do you ever read the newspaper?
When there's one in the house or one around then yeah. I never remember to buy one though because I always read news online.

Do you eat your mac & cheese with a fork or a spoon?
Both, just depends on what I grab first.

Is there​ any medicine/pill you take every​day?​​
Yes but only because the doctors say I have to or they are putting me back in that damn cage. I really do not like the cage. Lol. :p

How many 20 dolla​r bills​ do you have on you right​ now?
None. I'm poor. Lol..

Would you do meth if it was legalized?

Are you afraid others will judge you from reading some of your answers to survey questions?
No. If they do, that's fine. I don't care.

Do you think Obama will be assassinated?
Hmm. I think an attempt or two might be made by some fool. I think some people or person somewhere have probably humored the idea and ways they're certain would be doable. I think that's true with almost every president though. Just some more than others.

Have you ever made out with someone and then never saw them again?
Yes. :)

Do you drink egg nog?

What are you wearing?
Oh, I'm naked! Underneath my clothes. :x Lol.

Happy Saturday y'all! :)

Friday, November 21, 2008

Fuck You Friday

Fuck You...

- CRAZY ASS WEATHER! I love cold weather, I do. I like warm weather. I like anything but excruciatingly hot and humid weather. This 75 today and then 45 the next and then 70 again the next? That shit needs to stop, lol. A little warning please before you drop 30 degrees or so and then bounce right back up. You're wrecking all kinds of havoc here with the changes being all kinds of screwed up.

- People who can't think for themselves. I swear, the next time a customer asks me to pick out a drink for them because they can't pick what they want themselves? They're getting good ol' fucking delicious ice water. Maybe, maybe with some lemon or a lime in it. Maybe a cherry even. Bwa ha ha.

I can see asking what's good. I can see asking for input on what I like best or what people order most. What drinks are sweeter than others and what ones are sour. What flavors people get the least. Any little questions like that are fine enough BUT having me pick one for you because oh gosh, you just can't decide? Then when I ask what you like (fruity, sweet, sour, etc) you want to shrug and say "Oh I dunno, doesn't really matter" and then get mad and complain when you get something basic and simple? IF you were hoping for someting more, fucking say so and make up your own mind. I don't know you from anyone else in there. I'm no psychic and my being able to read people doesn't extend to knowing what you like to eat and drink. Don't complain when you refuse to pick your own stuff, that you're paying for, and then get something you don't want. Those who let us pick and then don't bitch about the outcome are exempt from this. My gripe is the ones who do this and then want to whine because it wasn't what they wanted. If you have an idea, speak up! At the least, give a hint to what you're looking for. Something tropical? Something tart and tangy? Berries? Sweet and tangy? So sour your eyes may pop out? We'll happily come up with something to float your boat but not when you won't give us shit to go on. BITCH PLEASE.

That's all my gripes for today, lol.

I have work tonight. Like every Friday night. And Saturday night. And Sunday night. And Monday night.... Lol. I close Friday and Saturday night. If I work it right, I can squeeze in some over time by the end of both nights. I do so love the overtime pay. Woohoo.

I trimmed my hair up yesterday. I was bored and took off an inch and a half of my hair. It isn't too noticeable unless you paid attention to the fact that my hair was down to resting around my boobs and below my shoulders. It's back to resting on my shoulders. It has been growing quickly lately so it will be back to that length in no time. I really need to stop clipping my hair when I get bored. I'm never going to get it really long again if I keep on doing that, heh.

Have a great weekend y'all!!!!!

Thursday, November 20, 2008

You get me...

I miss him but it won't be long until I have his arms wrapped around me again. Less than a week until I see his face again. Smiling at the sight of me, likely mirroring the same expression I'll no doubt be wearing once I see him again.

When I can't put what I'm trying to say in to words, I explain the best I can. I try to find the words I mean, I try to get as close as I can to articulate what I mean. I do my best and somewhere along the way, he picks it up and finishes the thought for me. Some how knowing just what I'm trying to say.

When I'm so down I feel like I'll never get back up, he's the one who pulls me back up. When I feel like I have no reason to get back up and would rather just stay down and trudge along, he pulls and pushes me back to where I need to be.The one who lights the darkest moments with the softest glow, the slightest glimmer that's just enough to let me know that eventually, I will be better. Things will be better. It can't pour down rain forever. You'll only drown in the downpour if you don't get back up and wade through the water.

He gets my weird sense of humor and even finds me funny. He laughs at the crazy and sometimes twisted things my mind conjures up for pure amusement.

He relates to me so well. He understands me when no one else does.
He's everything I could ever want and then some. He's not perfect but neither am I. No one is. I don't want perfect, I never have.

I'm strong enough on my own. I don't rely on him for everything. I lean on him when I need someone though but not as much as I could. I'm still independent enough that I don't bother him with everything. Sometimes, I think that bothers him a little but he's never said it does.

It's hard being away from him but I know it's not permanent. I know that even in our distance, we will be okay because things work out the way they're supposed to. It's hard but if it were easy there would be no challenge in it. People say the long distances don't work but I'm here and proving them wrong. You can't be weak, you must be strong. You have to have a strong relationship. Open, clear and strong communication. It can work but the distance can't last forever. I know this distance isn't permanent and I believe that if we make it through, it will only make our relationship stronger in the end. I believe we'll make it through too. I'll do what I need to do. He'll do what he does. There are some bad times and sometimes it hurts like hell. Ultimately, I believe in him and the strength of our relationship.

"So I'm a little left of center
I'm a little out of tune
Some say I'm paranormal
So I just bend their spoon
Who wants to be ordinary
In a crazy, mixed-up world
I don't care what they're sayin'
As long as I'm your girl

Hey, you are on my side
And they, they just roll their eyes

You get me
When nobody understands
You come and take the chance, baby
You get me
You look inside my wild mind
Never knowing what you'll find
And still you want me all the time
Yeah, you do
Yeah, you get me

So what if I see the sunshine
In the pouring rain
Some people think I'm crazy
But you say it's okay
You've seen my secret garden
Where all of my flowers grow
In my imagination
Anything goes

I, I am all you want
They, they just read me wrong

You get me
When nobody understands
You come and hold my hand, baby
You get me
You look inside my wild mind
Never knowing what you'll find
Still you want me all the time
Yeah, you do
'Cause you get me

Hey, you are on my side
They, they just roll their eyes
Yeah, yeah, yeah

'Cause you get me
When nobody understands
You come and take the chance, baby
You get me
When none of the pieces fit
You make sense of it
You get me
You look inside my wild mind
Never knowing what you'll find
And still I want you all the time
Yeah, I do
'Cause you get me"

-"You Get Me" by Michelle Branch

Happy 1/2 Nekkid Thursday y'all.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

You know I make you wanna scream...

So, I did my first audio post today. Sort of. I'm not posting it here though. =) It's posted somewhere though so you'll have to go there and check that out. Don't get all weird on me. It's not sexual at all. It's really rather nerdy so don't trip if you don't hear it. It's really not a big deal. If you want to know where to find it though, email and ask. Just don't get your feelers hurt if you're someone who I have no idea who you are at all. I won't be so inclined to let you in on it but it never hurts to ask. :)

This picture right here shows off the right side of my laptop, glowing brightly for all to see. Really, you can't see a damn thing because the page I was on was all white and there wasn't anything to see anyway.

Then there are my most comfortable pajama bottoms. They are extra baggy and a little too long. I like them that way though. I unintentionally purchased them too big without really realizing I was doing so. They are some of the most comfortable pajama bottoms in the world.

That would also be my most comfortable pair of shoes ever, my Vans. Though you can only see one here but... Lol. Those shoes rock. No, I don't normally wear shoes with my pajama bottoms but I had gone outside to make a phone call and it was too cold to go without shoes on. I forgot to take them off when I came back inside. See? They're that damn comfortable, lol. ;)

The Stars finally play again tomorrow. Woohoo. I'll be at work though, lol. I was hoping they would play yesterday or today since I'd be off and be home to watch the game while it's actually on. No such luck this week. Ah well. =) I just need to resist getting text updates about the game and wait until later when I can watch it on the DVR. It's so hard to wait though! Lol.

Oh and the post title happens to be some song lyrics. Avenged Sevenfold. I've had their song, "Scream" stuck in my head for the better part of the last few days and it's totally fine with me still. I love that song. =D

Time for the Weirdness now. Wanna play? Eh eh?

1.) Have you ever taken your clothes off for money?
Nope. Not that I can remember anyway. I've gotten offers before but never enough to get me to do anything, lol.

2.) Are you a morning person or a night owl?
Night owl, definitely. I can do mornings though. I don't like to but I can when I need to. The thing is though you can get more done in the morning and daytime hours. I just love/prefer the night. I have more energy at night too which is kind of odd I guess but oh well. I also prefer to eat breakfast at night as opposed to in the morning. =)

3.) Do you take any kind of medication daily or regularly? If so, what?
I should take allergy medication and another thing or two but I don't. With the one exception being the progesterone pills, I do take those daily but that's about it.

4.) Do you ever have naughty thoughts about any of your friends significant others?
No. Lol. None of my friends SO's appeal to me. My guy friends all tend to date crazy bitches and that just doesn't appeal to me, lol. NONE of my female friends have the same taste in guys as I do so I don't usually find the guys they date any kind of appealing.
I can recognize that some of them are good looking guys and girls but meh, not interested. Also, my boyfriend's hot enough for me, I don't need to think about any other guy but him. ;) My thoughts of others are usually of females that are casual type friends.

5.) What are your favorite comfort foods?
Fried chicken, macaroni and cheese and warm fresh baked cookies. Ice cream, mozarella cheese sticks and caramel apples. It depends on the mood I'm in what kind of comfort food is my favorite. Different moods equals different needs, lol.

6.) Would you rather direct a porn or star in one?
Direct! I couldn't star in one. I'd laugh too much. Plus, porn cock doesn't look appealing to me most of the time and meh, I wouldn't want to do one. Unless it's a private porn that I control who sees it and the only "directing crew" is a video camera and a tripod, then that's a whole different story and I'm fine with that. =)

7.) Have you ever seen a "donkey show"? Would you ever be interested in seeing one?
In movies but those don't count since they aren't real so no. I have no interest at all in seeing one. Animals and people doing sexual acts doesn't interest me in the slightest. More so, it grosses me out.

8.) On a scale of 1 to 10, how gullible of a person would you say you are?
Maybe a 2? A 1? I'm not very gullible at all. I'm far too cynical to ever be very gullible. =)

Happy Wednesday!

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

The Artist.

Okay, so I did this questionnaire/survey type deal back a few months ago when my Boyfriend first showed up on my blog before starting his own. Anyway, I went and found it and thought it would be fun if I could get one of my close friends to fill this in. So I asked several of them thinking that most would find it lame and not want to do it. I hoped out of 10 that I would get at least one or maybe two to agree. Instead, almost all of them wanted to do it. I figure I might just post one of these per month until I run out or something like that. Unless they bore people to tears then really, too bad, they can skip reading that day, lol. I don't want to post these too often though so hence the one a month thing.

So anyway, here is one of my friends, whom we'll be calling The Artist. She picked her own nickname and it's a very fitting one indeed. =) She is phenomenal with a utensil in her hand when it comes to sketching and painting. She's got skills. ;) I did change up some of the questions so it would be more fitting for a friend to answer over some of the questions my boyfriend had to answer, lol.


Hi, my name is: The Artist.

1. Things I am interested in are: Art, Eastern medicine, philosophy, alternative medicine and healing practices, Taoism, dark comedy, burlesque, physics, anatomy, musical theory and spirituality.

2. My favorite kind of cookies are: oatmeal raisin, white chocolate chip and fudge brownie.

3. My favorite things to do in my free time are: sketch, paint, sculpt, listen to music, read a book, hang with friends and/or boyfriend, crafts, bake, watch movies, kite flying, paper mache, dancing.

4. My most embarrassing moment was when: Goodness! There are so many! How about when I puked on my boyfriend on our first date? LOL [bad sushi!!]

5. My worst habit is that I: procrastinate procrastinate procrastinate!

6. My favorite part of the day is: school! In all seriousness, I love school.

7. I get complimented most on my: art, smile, sense of humor.

8. The best thing about me is: I never give up and I am very loyal.

9. People say that I have a great: heart.

10. People who don't know me tend to think I am: rude but I'm not, just very honest. Also stuck up but I am not that either, I'm just shy and quiet until I get to know you.

11. My relationship with Amorous Rocker is best explained as: friends forever, she will be stuck with me until one of us passes from this world.

12. I have known AR for this long: 8 years and counting.

13. The first time I saw AR in the flesh, my first thought was: that she was weird but had cool looking hair. I remember it was black with red and purple streaks in it and she had on black jeans with a studded belt. She was friendly but she just seemed totally weird to me, definitely not like any person I had ever met before.

14. AR's worst habit is: smoking! She really should quit but I don't push her on that. Often.

15. The thing I like most about AR's personality is: her outlook and her sense of humor. Very odd but rarely fails to make me laugh or crack a smile.

16. I envy AR's: big boobs. Quite frankly, I don't have much going on in the girl's department there and wouldn't mind being a cup size more.

17. I pick on AR about: her smoking! LOL

18. Something weird about AR is: so much but I will go for her interest in reading about serial killers.

19. I admire AR's:
ability to be adventurous and try new things. We were all to go cliff diving once and I chickened out, as I generally do. I'm not adventurous at all. I admire her spirit and ability to let go in the face of something scary and do it anyway.

20. One of AR's favorite things to eat is: chicken.

21. AR gets a major sweet tooth for: ice cream.

22. Five words that best describe AR are: Oh my, hmm.. 1, quirky. 2, intelligent. 3, passionate. 4, fierce. 5, creative. As an added bonus: Funny, bold, persuasive, fun and blunt.

23. AR's singing sounds like: waves rolling in on the shore. Her singing voice isn't high pitched or "Diva-ey" at all. It's more low and... Frankly, I have no clue how to explain. Quite pretty works. IF SHE'LL LET YOU HEAR HER SING!

24. AR's dancing looks like: fun.

25. Something AR is insanely skilled at is: getting her point across. Particularly when she is passionate about the subject.

26. People may be surprised to know that AR: can be such a sweetheart and is a sucker for puppies. :p

27. AR's sense of humor is: strange. It's a mix of sarcastic, twisted, odd and goofy.

28. The meanest thing AR has ever done to me is: nothing.

29. Five things AR has a lot of dislike for are: people who are abusive to animals, children and people in general. People whom drive under the influence. Manipulation. Porcelain dolls. Cotton candy.

30. The most annoying thing about AR is: her temper.

31. The biggest misconception about AR is: that she's a snob.

32. AR is the first person I would go to if I needed to: get advice on my relationship, vent in general, needed a laugh or wanted to dare someone to do something crazy.

33. I won't ever forget the time that AR: punched a guy in the face for being unable to keep his hands to himself. She told him several times to back off and warned that violence would occur if he did not stop. He did not. She punched him. He cried as his nose bled. It was my first time seeing a girl punch a boy to the point of him bleeding and crying. I was also shocked that she really hit him at first.

34. The game I enjoy playing with AR most is: Battleship! I always win. ;)

35. AR gets really riled up when: she's watching sports. She's like a man when it comes to her sporting teams.

36. AR gets really pissed when: I beat her at Battleship! Just kidding. A little bit. She gets really pissed (at herself) when she does something stupid that she prior had said she would not do.

37. AR's most annoying friend is: of her friends that I know and have spent time with, I will say Cupcake. I will have to tell her who that is. Cupcake annoys me because she tries too hard to be different, random and unique. IMO.

38. My favorite memory with AR is: the first summer we met. I was a very sheltered kid and she opened my eyes to a lot of things.

39. AR spends too much money on: books and music likely. Also on cigarettes. I have mentioned the smoking so much already. Bad me.

40. I really like it when AR and I: have a debate. We both are passionate in our beliefs but respectful enough to know our opinions are not the end all and be all. We can passionately debate and discuss things without getting mad with one another and without trying to convince why one way is right and the others is wrong.

41. The thing AR is hardest on herself about is: everything.I think she is too hard on most everything when it comes to herself.

42. People may think AR is an asshole because: she can be an asshole at times. :D

43. The thing that surprised me most about AR: is what we have in common and how well we get along despite being opposites.

44. AR's temper is like: Hell hath no fury like AR's temper when she is good and heated.

45. Something that scares me about AR is: how adventurous she can be. I do envy and admire that about her as I have previously stated. I do worry though that she sometimes isn't cautious enough before doing things.

46. The craziest thing I have ever done with AR is: nothing. I never actively participated in any crazy antics. I sat back, watching and hoping that nothing went wrong.

47. Five things AR and I have in common are: love of art, love of thunderstorms, being blunt, interest in psychology and similar tastes in movies.

I think career wise AR would make an excellent: lawyer, doctor, psychologist or college professor.

49. When AR gets drunk, she: gets bad ideas to do things she shouldn't do and thinks they're good ideas. I'm a very cautious person and I think that makes me biased in some way but I stand with my statement.

Two things AR and I never agree on: religion and vegetarianism.

Monday, November 17, 2008


So I'm excited. One week until I go see my boyfriend. Don't know what I'm talking about? Then read here about that since I already covered it once. ;) I'm excited. Woohoo. <3

My friend pissed me off this morning. Telling me about his drunk driving over the weekend and how he almost wrecked his car. I've never got behind the wheel once when I've been drunk. I don't fucking do it. I was in a car accident when I was 5 that was caused by a drunk driver. I almost died. Doctors were amazed that I lived through it given what happened. I got to be in a wheelchair for a little bit once I wasn't in the hospital anymore. I still have physical issues that are results of things that happened in that accident so long ago. I fucking hate people who drive drunk. Don't justify it to me in any way. Don't try and tell me instances where it's okay or doesn't hurt anyone. I will argue to the end of the earth, standing absolutely firm in my belief that you don't get behind the wheel of a car when you're drunk.

I was talking to another friend of mine and we got into some deep early morning conversation. It was a little too deep for it being so early but meh. We just got to talking about things and I relate so well with him because we're so damn much alike in how we handle things emotionally and mentally. He's having a hard time right now but I can relate because it's something I've gone through before and I know where he's at and really feel for him. He got so open and emotional though, it really was almost more than I could handle at such an early hour but I tried. He didn't need advice anyway. Just someone to listen and someone to understand. I did pretty good with that part. He said he felt better so that made me feel a little better. I was still feeling sad for him after we said bye though.

I just had the realization on Sunday that I'm coming to be able to go see Transporter 3 when it comes out. Eeeeep! Yes! <3>

Try to have a Happy Monday Y'all!

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Sunday :)

I like grapes from time to time.

I love white grape juice.

I hate raisins.

Ostentatious is one of my favorite words but I don't often get a chance to use it.

Crystal Light Raspberry Lemonade is pretty good.

I love the lowfat chocolate milk I snag from my job. ;)

I enjoy watching the Chef Jeff on the CJ Project even though I generally don't dig reality type shows. I dig what he's trying to do with these people on there.

I love cashews and almonds but peanuts are pretty okay too.

Cleaning out my bag and finding a few extra dollar bills tucked in between random receipts and papers makes me smile. Finding extra cash I didn't know I had rocks.

They say, I think....
  1. Please stop :: looking for ways to blame anything and everything else and start taking accountability for your own actions!

  2. Move over :: and don't forget to use your damn turn signal when you do!

  3. Sweet as :: ice cream. Mmm.

  4. Bet :: poker chips.

  5. Mad about :: You. (I think that's a show but I never watched it, lol.)

  6. It’s over :: the weekend. :(

  7. Intend to :: do better and stay more focused with goals.

  8. Blame :: pointing fingers.

  9. Jefferson :: third president.

  10. Heartless :: BITCH.

I updated my blogroll. It's about a mile long. I think I left some people out still. Too many new blogs I've found recently. I found a fucking awesome hockey blog and now I can't find it again. :( Oh well, lol.

Happy Sunday!

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Saturday Survey

Do you watch college football?
Sometimes, yeah. I don't usually get to see any UT Longhorns games so I check online for game scores, stats and any clips I can check out.

Where was the last place you went shopping?
Barnes and Noble or Safeway. Probably. No, maybe CostCo? Fuck, I don't remember, lol.

Do you wish you were someplace else right now?
Mmm maybe BUT I'm going to be there soon for a visit so yes!

Do you have any expensive jewelry?
Nah not really. I have a few pieces of very meaningful jewelry and that's better to me. I'm not big on expensive jewelry.

How many hours on average do you work a week?
38 to 40. I wish I worked a bit more though.

Do you watch the Olympics?
Honestly, not really.

What is the last restaurant you went to?
The one I work in technically, lol. I go there 5 nights a week. ;)
To actually eat at, uhh... I don't remember.

Last time you did volunteer work or made any donations?
I made a $2 donation on Tuesday of this week. It wasn't much but it was all the cash I had on me. =)

What do you spend the majority of your money on?
Oh you know... cell phone bill, gasoline, toiletries, groceries. Boring stuff, lol.

Where does your family live?
Texas. California.

Are you an only child or do you have siblings?
I have 3 younger siblings.

Ever been called a bitch?
Duh. Lol.

Do you have any wealthy friends?
If I do, they're hiding it quite well, lol. =)

Ever met anyone famous before?

Ever had to take a sobriety test?
A couple. I was sober every fucking time too so it really pissed me off. Especially the one time it was raining and I had on pajama bottoms and shoes that water easily soaked through. And it was like 3 pm in the fucking afternoon. Gosh, that one pissed me off more than the others. I don't ever fucking drive drunk. I hate that.

Do you have your wisdom teeth?
All of them? No. I need the others removed soon.

Last piece of mail you received that wasn't a personal letter, junk or a bill?
Damn, you can get more than junk and bills in the snail mail? Shiiit. Lol. I got a statement from a finance company and a bank statement last. I don't count those as personal letters so =p Lol.

What is the best city in the state that you were BORN in?
Mmm... I love Dallas and Austin. =D

What do you think about before you go to bed?
Things I want/have to get done the next day. Reflect on things from the day. Space monkeys. What the world would be like if everything was in neon colors. How weird things at night would look if the moon put off light like a black light. Stuff would be glowing everywhere! Other various random things, lol.

Have you ever made out in a bathr​oom?​​​
Yes, lol.

Are you afrai​d of spide​rs?​​​
Sort of. I'm not afraid of them really but I dislike them a lot. ;)

Do you like Chine​se food?​​​
Yes! Yum.

What is the last movie​ you saw in theat​ers?​​​
Madagascar 2.

Is there​ anyon​e you wish was still​ in your life?​​​
No, not really.

Do you get distr​acted​ easil​y?​​​
Sometimes. Just depends on the subject.

Do you flirt​ a lot?
Not a lot, lol. Well... Lol. :D

Would​ you live with someo​ne witho​ut marry​ing them?​​​
Lol, already have.

Do you have any friends that you've known for 10 years or more?
No... wait, yes I do! =D

Does the number of people a person's slept with affect your view of them?
Not really. It's their business and as long as they're not going to be a potential partner of mine, I don't care. I would only care if I was going to sleep with them and then I would only care because I would want to make sure they are disease free. :D Actually on Thursday night, I was talking with two co-workers because they called another co-worker a man whore and I asked what made someone a whore to them.

Are you a good tipper?
Yes. :) I think anyone who works in food service, for the most part, is a good tipper. There are some bitches at work that come up on their free time and won't tip because they won't tip someone they work with. Which is so annoying because those same people always get pissed when someone else who works comes up in their time off and does the same thing.

Have you ever had a crush on a teacher?
Not exactly, lol. I knew a professor back when I was like 18 but he wasn't my professor. He was fucking HOT though.

Do you walk around the house naked?
Noo! I currently live with my family, lol. =)

If you were an animal what would you be?
A tiger.

What do you do as soon as you walk in the house after work?
Put the keys down, put my bag down and take a shower.

Do you like horror or comedy?
Same thing. =D Horror movies are usually pretty comical. ;) I like some though.

If you weren't straight, what person of the same sex would you do?
I'm not straight and Bianca Beauchamp, if I could do anyone, lol. If it has to be someone I know then I'm not saying but then again I don't have to because the people who need to know already do. =) And there are a couple others but I'll keep those to myself.

Have you ever gone fishing and caught a fish?
Yes. I think I've been fishing around 10 times and I've caught 5 fish ever. Only two fishing trips got me anything. The rest were just fun, lol. Especially fishing with AF, CM and J with shrimp, rofl.

Who is a person your age that you can count on the most?
My boyfriend.

Where do you want to live when you are retired?
No fucking clue. In a different country I think actually. Europe somewhere.

Friday, November 14, 2008

Fuck Yeah Friday!

I am so excited right now! The last week or longer has emotionally and mentally been rough on me. Some things are going down that I haven't and won't post about that are really getting to me. One thing in particular scares and worries me but it's the kind of thing that's beyond my control. Actually beyond anyone's control. Life happens and sometimes, it fucking sucks. Anyway, on to something positive. In less than 2 weeks, I will be flying in to see my Boyfriend. I'll be spending a few days, including Thanksgiving, with him. So that makes me happy. I'm excited. I know we'll make the most of the time we're getting together. Then I'll get to see him again in December when he comes to visit moi. Eeeeeeeppp!!!! =D =D =D

My Stars lost last night to the Kings. 3 to 2. Grrr. We're so not having a good go of things so far this season. I'm still hoping things come together and get better for them though. If not, I'll still be there cheering them on anyway, lol. A couple bloggers have mentioned in emails and comments that they find themselves checking up on the Stars now to see how they're doing since I mention them so much on my blog during hockey season. Despite some not being so interested in hockey, lol. I would apologize but I think it's pretty fucking cool so... =p Lol.

Thursday night at work I got to talking with two co-workers.They were calling another co-worker who wasn't present a man whore. I listened to them talk a couple minutes more without saying anything and then I asked them both what they thought made someone a whore. The girl said someone that had been with 4 people or more was a whore. I asked her why the magic number for her was 4. She said that just seemed like a lot of people to her so anyone with 3 or less isn't a whore but 4 or more, WHORE! Okay, so in her eyes, I'm definitely a whore. =) I asked her if she defined her term of "been with" as only intercourse or if making out, fondling and oral sex counted too. She looked at me puzzled and said making out and fondling didn't count. She was iffy on oral sex. She said she guess she would count oral and intercourse in numbers. So I said if someone makes out and gropes 60 different people in 6 months, they're not slutty because they didn't have oral sex or intercourse with them. She looked puzzled more and said she needed to think on that. The guy said he said it wasn't the number of partners but the way the person did things that made them a whore or not. He said in example is one girl has had sex with 10 peoople and each person was a boyfriend and each boyfriend lasted for 4 months, then she wasn't a whore. She was just having sex with people she was in a relationship with. If however, a girl or guy had 10 one night stands in 3 years time, they were a whore because the sex was casual and with someone they didn't know. Same thing for if it was 10 fuck buddies, whore whore whore. Or if a person has had more than 15 partners total, they are a whore. I asked them then why being a "whore" was a bad thing. The guy said it wasn't, it just meant they had issues with self esteem or confidence OR just liked sex a lot. The girl said simply that it was just disgusting and made other women look bad and that girls and guys who did that just had no self esteem or self respect and just wanted to be liked so much that they'd hop in to bed with people to be liked. Also they have no morals and are weak because they can't say no.

I would hope that many girls and guy out there would realize there's more to them to offer others than what they have between their legs. For a lot of people, it isn't a confidence or esteem issue. They just like and enjoy sex. I would hope that they were doing it for the right reasons. Not being forced into it and not allowing someone to force them in to it. Not doing it to be popular or so someone will like them. Not hoping it will make someone love them. Really though, as long as people are being safe and responsible, I couldn't care less how many people they fuck. Not doing dangerous things and getting in to potentially harmful situations. Using condoms and/or birth control so they're not spreading diseases and popping out babies they're not going to take care of. Again though, as long as they're being safe and responsible and are willing to truly be held accountable for anything that might occur that specifically needs attentuion; it's not my business who they're doing or why they're doing them. I don't think someone who has low partner numbers or no partners is better than anyone else just because they're more choosey or have morals or beliefs that keep them from doing anything. I don't think all people who sleep around more often neccesarilly have low esteem or low self respect.

or me, it's not an issue of low self esteem, confidence or self respect. I just like sex, a lot. Though according to the girl from work, I'm a whore with no self respect who makes women look bad and just wants to be liked and loved. Not true. I have plenty of respect for myself. I have plenty of morals and I'm not a weak person or bad person because I like sex and have done it with more people than what she thinks is acceptable. I don't think I'm a whore and I wouldn't go back and take away any of the things I've done or the people I've done them with. I could be doing far worse things with my free time you know. ;)

For me, what it comes down to is at the end of the day, if you're happy/content/okay/can live with yourself and the things you've done and the people you've done them with... who gives a flying fuck what other people have to say about it?

Have a great weekend y'all!!!!!

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Throw 'em up and let something shine

So Wednesday, we drove to a bigger city about an hour away. Had lunch at a restaurant that's a favorite of both me and my mom. I love going there but that is the closest one and I don't love it enough to drive an hour there and an hour back more often. So we don't get it often and damn well enjoy it when we make the trip out for it. Yum yum yum.

Before then though, I had a little mishap at the house and freaked thinking I had lost my wallet because I couldn't find the damn thing. It's almost always in my bag so when it wasn't there, I was worried. I remembered the last time I used it Tuesday and remembered putting it in my bag. It took about 10 minutes but I found it. In the bathroom. In the drawer in the counter with my lotion, toothpaste, qtips and other things like that. No freaking clue how it got there but whatever. I was just happy I found it. :D

Anyway. After we ate, we went to Best Buy. That store is trouble for me. Clothes shopping? I hate it. Shoe shopping? I hate it. Best Buy though? OMG. I want a Nintendo DS right now something bad. I had the money in my account to be able to buy one and be fine until payday too. I resisted and got 3 CD's instead. Which is also a major accomplishment because I saw about 20 that I wanted. I picked up 7 that I really wanted and then worked it down to 3. I looked at all the pretty digital cameras. I looked at mp3 players with my youngest brother and Boyfriend in mind. I looked at DVD's of movies and TV shows that I wanted. HOUSE Season 4 has been out for a little bit now. I still haven't purchased it yet but GOOOOSH I WANT IT. Lol. I could seriously go in there and come out broke. In less than an hour. Good thing I have self control, lol.

Afterwards, it was off to Barnes & Noble. Which is almost as bad as Best Buy. I saw about 10 books I wanted. I stayed away from certain sections knowing there were things there newly out that I would want. I'm trying to save money though you see. So I picked up 5 books and narrowed it down to 2 books. The others can wait. Especially the one that was $35 and the other that was $40.

So, I did well and I'm happy about having new books and music to occupy myself with.

On the ride back, I got to thinking about something I used to do when I was a little kid. We were listening to a CD and I got to thinking. I remembered how we used to have cassette tapes and not CD's. That brought back memories of when I used to take blank cassette tapes and use a recorder to record songs right off the radio to make my own little mix times. I remember waiting forever to hear a song I wanted and then scrambling to hit record in time. Then getting annoyed at the DJ's for cutting off the end of the song with whatever they were going to say that wasn't near important.

Then that reminded me of a book I used to love from kindergarten, If You Give A Mouse A Cookie. Then I remembered The Witches and how much I loved that book too. I've always loved reading. I still have a copy of The Witches too. Sometimes, even though I'm a little more advanced in my reading, I like to go back and read or skim through books I loved when I was a little kid. Earlier this year, I found an old copy of a Boxcar Children Mysteries book. I used to love those when I was little too. I read so, so many of them. I found that when we were moving stuff out of my mom's house in Texas. I think the book was my younger sister's actually but I remembered it was one I had at one point and decided to read it again. I spent about an hour reading that book and chuckling about how silly it seems now. I enjoyed it still because I remembered fondly that at one point in my life, I had loved and looked forward to all the books in that series. It takes me far less time these days when I flip through old books but I still enjoy doing it once in a while.


Happy Thursday y'all!

I couldn't decide.

Here's my Tuesday at a glance. A long glance, lol.

Woke up after sleeping for two hours.

Went back to sleep.

Woke up.

Went to the bathroom.

Checked movie times.

Took youngest brother to see Madagascar 2.

Sat in crowded movie theater and laughed quite a bit.

Enjoyed the movie.

Went home.

Walked through front door, remembered I was supposed to stop and pick up whipping cream for the things my mom was making.

Went to store for whipping cream.

Got whipping cream, gift wrap, a card and tape.

Went home.

Put stuff away.

Put on rollerblades.

Rollerblading with youngest brother as he rode his bicycle.

Let youngest brother use rollerblades.

Had dinner.

Took shower.

Watched the Stars game.

Text boyfriend.

Yelled at TV.

Text boyfriend.

Yelled at TV.

Sat in suspense with nerves on edge during over time and the shoot out.

Saddened by the loss but happy we still got a point anyway since it went to OT.

Got online.

Did research briefly.

Called boyfriend and talked for a little over an hour.

Bitched and vented.

Laughed and enjoyed the sound of his voice.

Said goodnight and hung up.

Read two chapters in Stephen King book.

Washed face.

Had late snack.

Talked to a friend briefly.

Got online.

Checked myspace.

Ignored messages feeling slightly antisocial.

Checked email.

Still feeling slightly antisocial.

Scratched nail polish off nails.

Watched an episode of something on DVR with mom.

Contemplated reading some blogs.

Read another chapter in Stephen King book instead.

Brushed teeth.

Drank a bottle of water.

Contemplated trimming ends of hair.

Read another chapter in Stephen King book.

Wrote in journal.

After that, I half assed watched some crap on Nick At Nite. I tried to get sleepy. I've been getting sleepy early on in the night when times I can't sleep. Then once everyone is in bed or at least in their room and all downstairs is quiet and dark, I'm wide awake again. Then I'm up way too late because I can't sleep until I'm just physically unable to stay awake any longer. I don't really need any kind of advice here, I'm just bitching. :D

I need to get my butt to the post office Wednesday (todaaay) or Thursday. I have a package to send my love. I was holding off because I wanted to find a card and some random little things to go in the box along with the things I was already sending. Mission accomplished, now I just need to get it all together and get to the post office.

Vixen does a thing on Wednesday's called Controversial Question Wednesday. Today's question?

DO all women want that proverbial Fairytale happy ending? And does it really exist despite all the complications life brings us?

I can't answer that for all women but the answer, FOR ME, is no. I don't think like that. I think more realistically and less emotionally. I never daydreamed about my wedding or put any thought in to it. Actually, until rather recently, I was certain I never wanted to get married. Not because I didn't think I'd ever find the one but because it's not something that ever appealed to me. I never daydreamed about finding a "Prince Charming" and I've never thought of any guy as a Prince Charming, Knight in Shining Armor or any of that stuff. Not even my current boyfriend who I love, adore and find absolutely amazing. I find Fairytales to be so unrealistic and I get that they aren't to be taken literally but to be taken on a simple premise. Find a man, fall in love, be happy, have a family, a decent house and live happily ever after. Or some such variation.

I don't care about marriage one way or another. If I get married one day, that would be great but if I don't, I'd be okay with that too. It's not something that's ever been important to me. Later this month, I'll have been with my boyfriend 2 and 1/2 years. By the end of April next year, we'll have known each other 4 years. We both have friends and other people we know who ask when we're going to get married. We're content and happy with each other and don't have an interest in finding anyone else. So why not get married? That's what a lot of people think and don't understand why it isn't something either of us is very concerned with now.

I love kids but I don't think I would be a good mother. I have a list of reasons why I probably would be and an equal list to why I wouldn't be. The main reason is that I don't have an interest in having children of my own. I don't believe in having a child unless you are willing to fully commit yourself to them. Not to say you lose your identity and have absolutely no life of your own but I think your children should become the biggest part of your life as they're learning and growing up.

Things that are important to me are getting a career going and getting myself in order. I think of a happy ending as going home at the end of the day and being satisfied with myself and my life. Being happy with who I am as a person and being happy with what I'm doing. Maybe not every day because hell, we all have bad days. I'm not looking for a happy ending or a fairytale romance or lifestyle. I just want to do the best I can, get all I can out of life, accomplish a few of my more serious and some less serious goals and enjoy life while I'm here. If I have an amazing partner to share all of that with, it just makes it that much better.

Ahem. :)

I'm skipping WW today. I'm just not feeling the questions. I'm also just not in the mood to play anything. It happens. :)

Love this song.

Happy Wednesday y'all.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Bubbles, bubbles, bubbles...

Happy Veteran's Day out there!

That Stars play tonight! We won against Anaheim. We lost against San Jose. Such a sad fucking loss too. It was a fuck up move by our goalie that caused the other team to win in the final seconds just before the third period ended. Ugh. It happens though. The look on his face was awful. He so knew he fucked up, lol. Tonight we play the Kings. Hopefully we don't lose but thus far, my boys aren't doing so hot, lol. It's okay. I still love my team. I can't stand the "fans" who abandon ship when we're not doing well and start bad mouthing the team in every way they can. Fairweather fans and bandwagon bitches suck; fuck those people and not in the good way. =)

I watched Gone In 60 Seconds last night after work. I love love love that movie. Mainly, it's the cars. I love cars and that one has some amazing ones in it. I also just like the movie. Some of the dialogue in certain parts is flat ridiculous though, lol. Still, I love it. I've seen it probably 20 or more times and can damn near quote it word for word and still don't mind watching it. Speaking of movies, I'm hoping I get to take youngest brother to see Madagascar 2 today.

My boyfriend is so sweet. He stayed up a little later than he should have on Monday night to make some ringtones for me. He has a program on his computer so when I want new ones, instead of paying for them, I get him to make them for me. Then he sends them from his computer to his cell and then sends them from his cell to mine and voila. Good quality ringtones that don't cost $1.99 to $2.50 a piece. *sticks tongue out at cell phone provider* HA! :)
Don't forget Wednesday Weirdness tomorrow. ;) I have no clue who's doing the questions tomorrow but hopefully they're good ones. I can promise there won't be any cannibalism questions this week though, lol.

Now, it's time for TMI.

1. Ever been skinny dipping?
Yep. :)

2. How often do you kiss or make out without it simply being a foreplay activity?
When I'm with my boyfriend... we kiss a lot and it's just that without being more. I mean like several, several times a day/night we just kiss and it's just kissing, nothing more. I think it's comforting and his full lips are hard to resist. ;)

3. On a scale of 1-10, how content are you with your life? (1 is lowest, 10 is highest)
I'm in the middle. Things could always be better and they could always be worse. I can't complain too much right now though.

Do you think 'content' and 'happy' the same thing?

No. Happy is happy. Content is content. Happy is a state of mind. Being... happy. All those good feelings and all that jazz. Content isn't bad though. It's just being in the middle. Kind of like indifference but a little better. I can't explain it well but I don't think of the two as being the same. :) Edit: Vixen says it pretty good here. Check it out. :)

4. What do you do to relieve stress?
Listen to music. Loud music, very loudly. Play piano/keyboard if I have it available to me. Which, sadly, I usually don't anymore. Hit things. Vent to someone. Write. Take a walk. Take a long, warm shower and relax. Have a drink. Read! Draw. Go for a drive with the windows rolled down and the music up. Sex. It depends on the reasons why I'm stressed what works best for instant gratification type relief. The only thing that really relieves it is fixing or moving away from the thing or things causing the stress.

5. What was the special trait in your first lover that made you decide that they were "the one?"
I didn't put that much thought into it because it was never important for my first time to be special or meaningful.
It wasn't nearly so dramatic of a thing for me. I did it out of curiosity and hormones. So the "special trait" he held was that we were attracted to each other, had chemistry, got along well and wanted to.

Happy Tuesday!!!

Monday, November 10, 2008

Happy Monday.

I think one of the most curious things in life is perception. It amuses and often amazes me to see how two or three people can stand, staring at a picture in a frame and not get the same things out of it. How thousands of people can read books and poetry and have it hit them different. The pictures are all the same. The words in poetry are always the same. The difference is what each individual takes away from reading and seeing. How they connect to it. How they relate. How they understand. I think people tend to forget about perception though. Someone sees something one way and explains it the way they saw it. Another sees the exact same thing and shares how they saw it. The two don't exactly agree on what they saw but instead of discussing it or just leaving it alone and accepting the differences, it usually turns into an argument. One has to be right. They could not possibly have see the same thing differently now could they? People, as much as I often can't stand them, fascinate me. It's not so much the actual person that I find fascinating though. It's more so their characteristics, their mannerisms and their behavior.

Some people see dark clouds looming overheard. Weather like that irritates a lot of people. Puts them in a bad mood. Puts them in a sad mood. Annoys them. Has some kind of negative effect on them. Others, it has an opposite effect on. I feel comforted by dark, gloomy clouds. I love rain. I love when the sky above me is light gray or dark gray. Even black. Just heavy clouds or threats of rain. It doesn't matter. Weather that is seen as gloomy to so many excites me. Relaxes and comforts me. I love sitting and watching a storm. I love listening to the rain as it hits the glass of the windows. Be it a soft tinkling sound from a light rain or a hard pounding sound from that of a heavy storm. I love it. I find solace in days and nights like that. I feel peaceful when I sit watching and listening to a storm. Then I think of friends I have who in the same weather are jumpy and fearful. Anxious for the storm to pass and worry about the dangers they carry. Others who get angry because it ruins any plans they have for being outside. Others who hate the wet gloomy feel of a rainy day. People are so different in so many ways.

The human mind is probably the most fascinating and perplexing thing in the world to me.

I'll never fully understand. I'll probably never even understand the half of it. No matter how much time and effort I put in to trying to understand. I'll never get tired or trying to learn more about the complexities of how the mind works though. I don't get anything out of it. Nothing more than a satisfaction to my curiosity and a sating to my desire to learn and try to understand to the best of my ability.

From childhood's hour I have not been
As others were; I have not seen
As others saw; I could not bring
My passions from a common spring.
From the same source I have not taken
My sorrow; I could not awaken
My heart to joy at the same tone;
And all I loved, I loved alone.
Then- in my childhood, in the dawn
Of a most stormy life- was drawn
From every depth of good and ill
The mystery which binds me still:
From the torrent, or the fountain,
From the red cliff of the mountain,
From the sun that round me rolled
In its autumn tint of gold,
From the lightning in the sky
As it passed me flying by,
From the thunder and the storm,
And the cloud that took the form
(When the rest of Heaven was blue)
Of a demon in my view.

"Alone" -Edgar Allen Poe