Friday, October 31, 2008

Happy Halloween!

So normally, it's Friday so I would be doing Fuck You Friday. Well, I can't let myself do a bitch post here on Friday because hello, today is Halloween! Which is my favorite holiday people. I'm not posting any negative little rants or gripes on one of my favorite days of the year. C'mon now. :) Plus, the Stars play tonight! Of course, I'll have to DVR it and watch it later because I'll be at Hell's front door work when it's on buuut yay! GO STARS!!!

I reply to comments on the comment page. Then often times, those comments turn to e-mails or tagboard chats. For my post from yesterday, I wanted to take a few specific people and their comments and reply to them here, on my main blog. I'm cheating and using this as a blog entry but some of the comments were just too damn long after I got done rambling. Which offers up more thoughts and opinions from yours truly on the subject matter of my post yesterday. So it isn't cheating and even if it is, it's my blog and baby I do what I want. :D

Also, I want to say THANK YOU for all of the great comments and e-mails I received because of that post. The comments were surprising but really it was the e-mails I got that kind of astounded me. It's cool though when you can write about something and people can relate to it and want to share their own experiences and stories. Of course, you should know if you were one of the folks who e-mailed me that I won't reply likely until after the weekend or maybe Sunday at the soonest. :)

Anyway, if you don't see yourself here then your reply will be here because the shorter ones and the ones where I didn't really elaborate more on anything were just left there. Also, I realized just now that some parts of these replies won't make sense if you don't know or remember what the comment said. You know where to go to find that though, lol. I already had all this done and written out before I had that little realization so too bad for me, I'm not going back now. Anyway, enjoy. :)

Another Suburban Mom:
I did put a lot of thought in to the post. Usually I just write what comes to mind with little thought but sometimes I post things that I truly think about what I'm going to say and how I want to say it. :) I wish you would have had something like this to read back then but it's fine because now, you know better and hopefully you'd never feel like a horrible slut. :)

Thank you!
Exactly. :) I know a couple of gay folks who are like that too. I don't understand it either. I used to know one in particular who found bisexuality gross because he felt one way or the other was the way to be. Being for both teams, he thought was weird and wrong. That's fine. Think what you like. I just sometimes wish I could get a better explanation than, "It's just how I feel and I'm entitled to my opinion." Oh well though.
I've had that happen before. In my case, it's because I'm too clueless at times to see a "like minded" opportunity when it presents itself. I need to be told or I miss it generally, lol. Thanks for commenting.

Aww thank you! The exploring stages are so fun. It's all new and exciting in a way. It can also be a little daunting and scary too. Uncertain as well. I think it's great you've decided to explore though. It's great when you can do something like that. Even better when you find a partner secure and comfortable enough to be fine with you doing things like that. :) Thanks for the comment darlin'.

Beautiful Dreamer:
It is a little odd. People do weird things to get attention sometimes though. :)
I claimed hetero even when I knew better for a while. After a while though, the only people I really kept it away from was my family but now I don't hide it from them. I wasn't sure how they'd react you know? I didn't want things to be uncomfortable or weird or anything. Glad I could give you something to think on and thanks for the comment. :)

For the most part, I am. There are so many things that need work still but most of them don't have anything to do with being comfortable with myself or not. Thankfully. I don't need one more thing driving me nuts.
Lol! Thank you for sharing that story with me! Seriously, I've had female friends stop hanging out with me because of that. They found out I was bisexual and assumed that I must automatically want every girl I knew and then some! Which is completely ridiculous. I'm so picky it's not even funny. It didn't bother me to lose those friends though because really, they weren't very good friends at all if they wanted to bail like that because their shallow little minds had them thinking something it shouldn't have been. Not one female friend that did that was ever someone I was even remotely attracted to. I just don't understand that. My first reaction to finding out a girl is gay or bi is never to assume she wants me, lol. I'm glad you got past that and got a great friend out of it though. Good for you!
I honestly prefer my serious relationships to be with men as well. I've tried. I cannot do a serious relationship with a girl. I don't even want to really. I adore my boyfriend and wouldn't trade him in for any vagina in the world. He's amazing. I enjoy women though. I enjoy a more casual relationship as far as that goes. A friendship with a bit more basically. As long as things don't develop into more. Or as long as from the get go, the girl isn't looking for more than I'm willing to give. If so, it's time to move on before anything happens. It's unfair as hell to take from someone when you know upfront they want so much more than you're willing to give them.
I look forward to the day you blog about that. One of these days. ;)

You don't sound like a promiscuous bi-slut. Silly. ;) I am totally flattered that you thought any kind of highly about my post. I started out just rambling with no purpose honestly before I stopped and went back to put some thought in to it.I'm glad you enjoyed it and I'm flattered you added it as an "afterthought" girlie. Thank you!

It amazes me too. It makes me feel a little disheartened by it as well.
That's good for optimism! Though I don't think it to be true based on other comments she still makes. She does try to say less things about how disgusting this and that is around but once in a while it happens. I don't say anything usually because it's not worth it to get into an argument over really.
Thank you! The face one was the one I liked better as well. ;)

I understand that. At times, I feel like I am being defensive and that gets me flustered and a bit annoyed. Then I get tongue tied and my point become a little cloudy because I can't word them as articulately as I would like to. I can relate. :D I appreciate the comment and I'm glad you enjoyed the post. :)

vixen kitten:
Thank you!
I knew around that same age. That's when I went through that whole hating myself and feeling wrong mess. It wasn't something I was about to admit to then because I was so unsure about it and felt so wrong about it. Once I got comfortable with it and accepted it, which took a kind of long time, I had an easier time being more open about it with certain people. The more experiences I had and the more people I met who were or had been in the same boat, the easier it got for me. I don't have a lot of those same people in my life any longer and that's fine. I am grateful for the time I knew and spent with them though. :)

Curvaceous Dee:
Thank you! :)
I almost wanted to delete the part about my initial confusion and bad feelings about it. I wanted to add that in there though because I didn't want it to seem like I realized it, was fine with it, got moving with it, had a ball and had no problem with anything because hell, so not true there. Lol.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Bi bi.

I am bisexual.

I'm not bisexual because I think it's hot.

I'm not bisexual for attention.

I'm not bisexual to make other people think I'm wild, freaky or sexy.

I noticed that I was attracted to other girls at a really young age. Long before it was hip and trendy to do and be so. I felt like something was wrong with me. I felt like I was wrong and weird. I wondered about what was wrong with me. I was angry at myself for being "that way" and not understanding how or why it had happened. In turn, it made it seem like I was angry at everyone else around me. Teenage angst I guess. I wasn't comfortable talking to anyone about what was "wrong with me" and why I was so uncomfortable and angry about it. I was ashamed of myself and didn't want to tell anyone what was going on with me. A couple years later, I happened upon some books that helped me understand that there wasn't a single fucking thing in entire world wrong with me. I was fine and there was nothing I needed to feel dirty and ashamed about. I read more and more on bisexuality and homosexuality and formed an opinion on it. I felt better and stopped being angry with myself for the feelings I had. I hadn't done anything that made that happened. It was just the way I was. I still didn't tell any of my family anything though. I did get to where I would tell people. Friends. Girls that I picked up vibes from that seemed to be good. They usually were. It wasn't until this year, earlier in the year, when I finally just asked my mom if she knew. She said she suspected but hadn't been sure and wasn't going to ask that. Fine with me.

It's funny how people you know are when they find out something like that. To me, it seems like no big deal. People around me tell me they don't care and see nothing wrong with it. Some of my friends, newer friends, knew from pretty much the get go. They're okay with it or they aren't and they just don't acknowledge it. That's fine too. It's not something I go around talking a lot about. Some people really are fine about it. Indifferent even with a few. Which I am grateful for honestly. Some say they aren't bothered by it in any way.

Some of them, are full of shit.

I can remember an instance over a year ago where someone close to me saw something about a bisexual girl in a news story. They read the story and commented that if she hadn't been a disgusting slut, she might not have had the troubles she had. I asked what made the girl in the story a disgusting slut. That person replied back that bisexuality and homosexuality were disgusting.

Today, that person would deny ever saying that to me if I brought it up. They claim to not care and not think anything bad about me being bisexual. They didn't know I was at the time that comment about the girl was made. I know that despite what they say, they probably think the same about me to some degree.

They might try to say they don't remember saying such a thing. Maybe they honestly don't. I remember because they are someone semi-close to me. I also remember because all I thought at the time was if they would call me a disgusting slut if they knew I was bisexual as the girl in the news story was. They wouldn't ever say that to me. Maybe about me to someone else. Never to me though. They'd never admit they were disgusted by a small part of me.

I don't call myself bisexual just because I'm attracted to girls. I've fooled around with girls. Several girls. Not just one or two in an experimental kind of way. I've had female friends with benefits before. I even went on dates with a couple different girls a long time ago because I thought I wanted to be done with men. I learned from that that I wouldn't ever likely be in a relationship like that again with another female. Friendship and sexual stuff, I can handle and I do enjoy.

Some people discount it because they don't know those things. They think I just like to point out hot chicks and go to strip clubs to watch the pretty half naked women dance. It's true on both points but I've also been with other females and still have interest in doing things like that.

Other things people think is that because I like and have been with girls and guys that I'm easy. If I do both it must be because I just can't get enough sex so I go crazy and take all I can get. That isn't true either and it's silly to think so.

Another thing is more recently, it's become really trendy for girls to get drunk or just act up in public with a female friend. Kissing and groping on each other just to get attention. Just so guys will find them sexy and adventurous. Hot. Wild. Shit like that. I don't do that either and I really dislike girls who do honestly. It gives people the wrong impression and that is annoying.

Another thing that really pisses me off are the girls who assume that because I'm bi, I must be attracted to ever girl on the planet. Really? Could you be more shallow? Just because I like the look of one brunette girl doesn't mean I find every brunette under the sun sexy. Just as with guys, attitude and personality play a lot into it as well.

I wonder sometimes why it should matter what I do and don't like. I'm comfortable with it. More so, my boyfriend is comfortable with it. I don't talk about girls or my experiences with them in front of a lot of people. It's not that I'm ashamed of it but I just don't speak so openly about that. There are a lot of misconceptions about it and I don't want people acting differently around me just because they bought in to one. Or just because it's a subject that all around makes them uncomfortable. That's fine. I get it and even understand how it would be an uncomfortable subject for people. They have a right to be uncomfortable by something and really I don't care until they want to be a righteous asshole about it. I just wonder though why it matters what I like to do and don't like to do. Sexuality is not the biggest part of my life. It's not the thing that stands out about me the most. It's not all that I do. It's not all that I talk about and say.

It's not something that affects most people one way or another really. Only in their mind, if they choose to let it be something they think about or something they associate me by. I'm still the same person in every other way that I was before they knew.
So why does the simple fact of learning my orientation automatically make some people see and treat me differently? I wonder about things like this sometimes, ya know? Though honestly, I don't give a fuck. I am who I am. People can take me or leave me. I can't change opinions of minds that are already made up on something and if I have to, it's probably not worth my time anyway. I'm pretty comfortable being me. :)

Happy Thursday!!!

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Weirdness & videos

Wednesday Weirdness. Come play too. ;)

1.) As an adult, do you do anything for Halloween or is it jut another day?
I LOVE Halloween. I know many people who tell me it's a child's holiday and I need to grow up. All I say to them is fuck off. I love the month of October. I love fall. I usually work Halloween now that I'm a big kid but I've always worked a job where the option to dress up was given. So, I dress up for work and then go out after work. :)

2.) Do you ever dress up for Halloween? What will be your costume this year?
I do! I still haven't decided, lol. I need to hurry up on that one huh? :D

3.) Have you started Christmas shopping yet? When do you usually begin?
Gosh no. I usually start in October. I don't have the funds to do so this year though.

4.) Do you look people in the eye when talking? Does it bother you when people don't make eye contact during conversation?
Mostly I do. It does a little. I like a little break in eye contact sometimes though. It's a little unnerving when the person never wavers and constantly stares at you. I don't mind a little break in the eye contact but mostly, I can't stand when someone won't look at me while conversing.

5.) What excuse do you usually use when you want to take a day off work for no real reason?
I rarely do that so I don't have a set of excuses for that. I hate missing work.

6.) How often, on average, do you find yourself thinking about sex per day?
Probably more than the average female does, lol. I can guarantee you that one.

7.) What company makes your favorite brand of shoes? What makes them your favorite?
Etnies! I love Etnies. They are so fucking comfortable and not a bad price at all. Plus they last no matter how tough I am on them.

8.) Do you ever save alcohol bottles once they are empty?
Yeah! They make awesome change jars. Seriously. :)

9.) Do you enjoy musicals?
Musical theater and plays. :) If they're good and put on well.

Recently, I started using Infusium 23 for my hair. By recently, I mean about 3 weeks ago. I love how this stuff smells. In the bottle, it smells meh at best. Just kind of bland and not very fragrant at all. After I use the shampoo and conditioner (when I use the conditioner), my hair smells flipping amazing. It leaves my hair smelling so good that I actually slightly enjoy being able to smell my hair. I also like how my hair feels soft without feeling oily or limp. It leaves a nice shine that doesn't look greasy. My hair looks and feels awesome. The only real downside is the cost of it but I'm pathetic and happily pay too much for hair care products.

My cell phone is annoying me as of late. It turns itself off several times during the day. If I slide the phone shut too quickly, it causes the phone to shut off. I spoke with tech support on the issue and they had nothing for me. They suggested I take the phone into a store and see what a customer service rep in there could do for me. No thanks. Those people are rarely actually any help at all. It's not too annoying so as long as it doesn't get worse, I should be fine. I have insurance on my phone so if the thing does crap out, I'll use a claim for a replacement. I hope I don't have to do that though, lol.

I woke up Tuesday and my neck was killing me. It was fine before I went to sleep so I think I slept on it funny. Well, slept with my body turned one way and my neck turned at an awkward angle. Whatever happened, it happened in my sleep and it's got my neck all kinds of sore, lol.

The Stars play tonight! I'll be home to watch the game. Hell yes!

The Habs are not my team and I don't feel too much about them one way or another. Check this video out though. It's their goalie making a pretty wicked save. It's only 30 seconds so have a look. :)

This is another video. Milan Lucic of Boston hits Mike Van Ryn of Toronto hard and ends up shattering the fucking glass. It's insane. The video is a minute and 25 seconds but you don't have to watch that far to see the hit. Check it out. :)

Happy Wednesday!

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

So will you hold my hand?

Yesterday was mom's birthday. I ended up not working after all which was nice. Monday sucks ass anyway as far as work goes. It's one of the sloooowest fucking nights of the week. I only missed 6 hours of work anyway. Maybe I can make it up Wednesday. So I was with the family all day. Getting stuff for mom's birthday and then going out to do things with the family. I still took her and my siblings out to lunch. We ended up going out for dinner after birthday cards and gifts were opened. Mom cried over the birthday cards. She loved the gifts she got I believe. She made her own cake, as usual. She is the uber phenomenal chef and baker so we can't make or buy any cake that would be near as good as her own. Plus, she loves to cook and bake. Which we all love and benefit from as well. Yum. Anyway. She made herself a red velvet cake with cream cheese icing. It was delicious. It tastes about 1,000 times better than it looks. Cake is the devil. I don't care for icing all that much honestly. Just give me the cake. Yum. I could eat cake as a meal. I don't but I could. As long as it's a cake I like and I can scrape most of the icing off, I'm a happy camper. It's still not as good as ice cream though. I love love love ice cream.

I'm off today and tomorrow. Then I work Thursday - Sunday. Four eight and a half hour shifts. I actually hate having three nights off but it was worth having Monday off to do everything with the family.

We might be going to San Jose in November. My loves, the Dallas Stars will be in town to take on the San Jose Sharks. I want to go so bad. My mom wants to go. My sister and youngest brother want to go as well I think. I WANT TO GO! STARS!!!!

Tomorrow is Wednesday Weirdness. We have a new chick up and posting the questions for Wednesday this week. Check them out. They should be up sometime this evening or really late tonight/early tomorrow.

I almost skipped the TMI Tuesday questions today. Mainly because I couldn't remember more specific answers to a lot of things, lol. I did them anyway.

1. Who and when was your first crush?

Gosh... well, as a little girl, I was a tomboy. Boys were for playing sports with, racing cars against, wrestling and beating up on. I don't think I got a real crush until I was like 10 or 11 and then I was totally grossed out for thinking of a boy like that, lol. It was a neighborhood boy that was a couple years older than me. I got older and realized he was a loser, lol.

2. Who and when was your first date?

I don't even remember who and when exactly. Probably a movie though. I think most of my first dates were movies. So you could make out in the theater. ;) I haven't made out in a theater in a long time though. Movie tickets are expensive and if I'm going, I want to watch the damn movie.

3. Who and when was your first kiss?

My first kisses happened in kindergarten. J and M. While holding the door open to the cafeteria and under the piano during a play period indoors on a rainy day and another time on the playground.

4. Who and when was your first partner while "fooling around" in car?

A boy named.... :) I was 15 I think. I knew him from work. It also happened while we were both at work and on a break, lol.

5. Who and when was your first partner while "fooling around" in a house?

Again, I don't remember exactly who and when. I was a teenager and that wasn't that long ago but I've "fooled around" with quite a bit more people than most would think or know about.
I didn't lose my virginity in a house. When I started fooling around at all, it was never in a house, lol.

6. Who and when was your first love?

When I lived in South Texas. We had an insanely dysfunctional relationship. Both of us were pretty shitty towards each other honestly toward the end. He was sweeter than most people knew but you only complain about the bad times and people tended to think he was worse than he was. I did some pretty fucked up shit to him though. It was just.... dysfunctional and unhealthy but at the time, I didn't care because he meant the world to me. I'd never be like that with anyone ever again. I've got a much more healthy relationship now with an amazing guy. :)

Happy Tuesday!

Monday, October 27, 2008

Left alone with only reflections of the memory

Today is my mama's birthday. :) I had originally asked for the night off from work so I could be around all day but my boss is a moron when it comes to scheduling and didn't give me the night off. I requested it with plenty of time but as I said, he's not the smartest guy, lol. I don't have any problem with him really. For the most part, I like the guy but he's a little annoying and has issues working requests for the schedule. I said I'd get it fixed and my mom told me not to do that, keep my hours and don't worry about it. So I'll be working tonight but during the day, I'm taking her out to lunch at one of her favorite restaurants. So, you know, I don't totally suck. ;)

Work Sunday was great. Time flew by fast. We were busy most of the night. The last hour of my shift was the slowest but I didn't mind that so much. A lot of people hate when work gets crazy busy but I love it. Time goes by so quickly and there's always plenty to do during the busy periods. Then when it slows, you stay busy cleaning and stocking things. It helps the time go by much faster and it feels like you're only at work for a couple hours. Instead of 8 or 9 hours, lol. I HATE when it's slow and time drags by forever.

The Stars don't play again until Wednesday BUT I have Wednesday's off! Hopefully I can actually watch it while it's on instead of staying up way too late after work to watch the games recorded on the DVR.

I've sucked at replying to e-mails lately. I'll catch up Tuesday on my first day off of the week. ;)

Musical Monday... "Sorrow" by Flyleaf.

I turned my back on you. I couldn't stand to watch you walk away from me. It hurt and I didn't understand. At the time, I felt it was what I had to do. Turn away, let you walk away. Separate from one another. Our friendship had always been complicated. You were only a year older but you were so much more grown than I. Life can be unfair and you were dealt an unlucky hand. Forced to be a man when you were still so young. Playing the grown up while the rest of us acted as teenagers do. I never understood. I didn't see at the time what you were grasping to hold on to me for. I didn't understand. Couldn't understand. It was more than I could fathom. Things progressed in a way I couldn't handle. At that time, I thought it was something else. I wasn't mature enough to understand what you were seeing in me. I thought it was infatuation and lust. It's what it seemed. It's how everyone else saw it as well. I was too immature to see what it really was. Too young to understand what was truly there, what it was you really saw in me and hoped to obtain. We got to the point in our friendship where we were fighting and exchanging pitiful words fueled by anger. Anger that was misplaced. I couldn't understand and you didn't know how to make me understand. A year older in age but a lifetime older in every other aspect. I couldn't take it anymore. Too much trouble. Too much discomfort. Too many bad feelings. I hated seeing you flinch away as scathing words spilled from my mouth. I hated when you lashed out at me because I didn't understand. I hate how our simple friendship had evolved into something so complicated that I couldn't understand what it was.

It was almost a year later when I finally saw. The realization hit me and it was like having a part of my eyes opened that I never realized had been closed before. You only walked away because I turned my back on you. I didn't listen. You tried to explain. You tried to tell me things I should have listened to. They couldn't be true though. It wasn't something I could handle. I didn't want to. I wasn't sure how. It's not that I didn't care. I did care. It was just more than I was capable of handling at the time. I didn't understand and partly, I didn't understand because I wouldn't allow myself to see everything. If I ignored these things you presented to me, they wouldn't be true. How silly and ridiculous denial can be. How self serving it is to convince yourself of what you want to believe at times. How incredibly selfish I was. At one point, after you left, I laughed to myself thinking how over dramatic you had made everything in the end. I saw the hurt in your eyes the last day I saw you. I knew it was real but I didn't understand why you were so hurt. Several times we spoke on the phone after that and I could hear it in your voice. I didn't understand. I still couldn't understand why you were so hurt. I didn't understand what it was that you saw in me, saw in our friendship. I didn't understand what it was that you got from me until it didn't matter anymore.

They say things are better done late than never. I don't always believe that applies. In this instance, it did me no good at all to realize anything later than never. I hurt someone who didn't deserve it and I lost a really good friend. Due to my own lack of understanding. My own unwillingness to let go and try harder. For fear I would end up being the one who fell and ended up hurting the worst. I was selfish and pathetic. The only things I would wish for is the chance to apologize to him. I realized too late and everything was ruined. The last time we spoke, we agreed to never speak again. I can't remember why, at the time, that seemed like such a good idea. I've no idea where he is in life but I hope he's doing well. He deserves it. More than he knows. I hope he found someone to make him feel that way. I won't ever know though and that's just how it is.

The best thing from all of that was that I learned something from it all. Not right away. Better late than never applies here though. I learned how to be the kind of friend that I should have been to him in the first place. I changed in a way that most people didn't noticed. I noticed. I knew I was doing a couple things differently. That's all that mattered. I learned from it and promised to be more careful when dealing with people I care for and their emotions.

That song by Flyleaf makes me think of something different almost every time I hear it. I was surprised when I was listening to it on the way to work Sunday and it made me think of my friend I just wrote about. I listened to every verse and it reminded me of harsh words or a certain time with him.

I love how music can do that. You can listen to a song and gather so many different meanings in the words. Certain songs just make you feel things. Sadness. Joy. Silly. Some songs remind you of things. Even when they aren't particularly good memories it's still good for you to remember things. It's good to feel pain at times. It's not that I love to dwell on painful memories because I certainly don't do that. I think it's good to remember the good and the bad that got you where you are today.Remembering where you went wrong before helps me figure out how to try not to go wrong in the present or the future. Dwelling is pointless but acting as if nothing more than general indifference happened before today is pointless too.

Happy Monday... :)

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Saturday Survey

My Dallas Stars play the Washington Capitals tonight. I'll be at work but as usual, the game is getting recorded on the DVR so I can watch it later. :D GO STARS!!!!!

I don't mind if anyone wants to steal these questions and do them on their blog. I don't make up most of the questions. I browse surveys and stuff like that and I just copy the questions I like. Sometimes I find a survey that's got enough good ones that I just have to delete a few questions here and there but otherwise I'm good. Sometimes, I do add in a few questions of my own as I think of them though. If you do take any of the surveys I post so you can do them on your blog, please comment and let me know so I can come check out your answers and stuff. :)

When was the last time you rode a bicycle outside?
Oh gosh... I don't own a bike sadly though I do want to get one. The last time was I think a month ago. I was outside with my youngest brother and rode around on his for a little bit before letting him have it back so he could ride some more.

Would you ever do Jell-O wrestling? (Wrestling in a kiddie pool filled with Jell-O)
I have once and I so didn't like it, lol. It wasn't that fun and I was scrubbing my hair for too long to get all that crap out of there.

What's the last thing you put in your mouth?
Reese's or Propel.

If you married the last person you said "I love you" to who would it be?
My boyfriend. ;)

Have you ever masturbated using a chocolate bar in place of a toy?
..... No, don't think I will ever do that one. What the fuck? Lol. I don't even like chocolate that well. That would be so messy and kind of gross. Ick.

Is there someone that popped in your mind after that last question?
.... No. Weird questions, lol.

What is your middle name?
It starts with a letter in the alphabet between A and S and it's a pretty name. :)

How much are you paying for gas in your area?
2.89 to 2.95 depending on the gas station. :)

Who knows you better than anyone else?
My boyfriend.

Do you put Parmesan cheese or crushed red peppers on top of your pizza?
Sometimes. I love eating my pizza with ranch though. Mmm.

Did you get in a fight with someone yesterday?
A verbal disagreement, yes. A physical fight, no.

What bill do you have to pay next?
Cell phone.

Are you talking to someone while doing this?
Nope. :)

When was the last time you went to the zoo?
Oh gosh, I don't even remember.. I went to the Dallas World aquarium earlier this year though! I love love love going there.

What drives your crazy?
Myself. My mind. Lol.
Quite a few other things too. ;)

Do you get excited about Valentine's Day?

Do you have any tan lines?
No. I don't like the sun enough to spend enough time outside to get any tan lines. Plus, it's almost November so going to the pool or beach isn't such a good idea unless I want to freeze my tits off. Just sayin'.

What were you doing at 8 this morning?

What's something someone can do that makes you melt?
Tie me to a chair outside while the sun is bright and shining.
Fuck I dunno, lol. If it happened, I'd know but here on the spot, I can't think of anything. I don't "melt" easily.

What is one thing you would love to happen tomorrow?
I would love to figure out how to teleport. ;) Realistically though, I would love for time at work to fly by.

Where is your sister right now?
She's in the bathroom, washing her face or something that requires the water up there to be running.

Has anyone called you pretty in the last two days?
My boyfriend has a tendency to do that. Silly boy.

Your heart is racing, who are you standing next to?
A cannibalistic axe murderer who's looking at me as if I'm a pork chop and he's starving. While he sharpens his axe blade. All the girls stand in harms way in the silly horror flicks you know. Or they take off running in a t-shirt and underwear, screaming as they run down the middle of the street in a suburban neighborhood. Ironically, not one person in any of the 30 houses they screech passed hears her screaming as the flees down the street, waving her arms eratically, slowing her down but adding ridiculous dramatic effect to the scene. Then she bursts in to tears, yelping and gasping as her running slows and she begins to sob. She flails her arms around, wailing now, struggling to keep running and ends up tripping over herself and falling. She crawls on the ground and scrambles to get up as she screams again for help between her sobs. She finally makes it back up and starts to move again. Just before the cannibalistic axe murderer catches her and swings the axe. I digress though. My heart is racing because I'm standing next to the cannibalistic axe murdered who is still hungry. Those low grade horror flick bimbos can't be much more than a tasty snack for him.

Do you like funnel cake?
Yes! It's horrible I know but yum.

Do you like waking up with the sun on your face?
No. Yes. I like sleeping in total darkness. I like waking up in darkness but it helps me wake up when there's sunshine streaming through.

Where is your mom right now?
At home.

Put your iTunes or media player on shuffle and list the first seven songs that play. No changing to seem cooler!
Meh, I'm listening to my iPod now so I'll just shuffle through 7 songs and list what they are. ;)

"I Don't Care" by Apocalyptica ft. Adam Gontier
"Disturbia" by Rhianna
"By The Pain I See In Others" by Opeth
"Under the Northern Star" by Amon Amarth
"Closer" by Ne-Yo
"I'm Still A Guy" by Brad Paisley
"Ain't Too Proud To Beg" by The Temptations

Are you allergic to any antibiotics?

Does your phone ring in the middle of the night often?
It happens. Drunk friends usually, lol.

What color​is your favorite hoodie?
Black! Surprise! Lol.

What comes​ to mind when I say cabbage?​​
Those Cabbage Patch dolls! Which reminds me of Sour Patch Kids. Which reminds me of movie theaters. Which reminds me of darkness. Which reminds me of blood. I could go on forever...

Would you dance to the taco song?
I have no clue what that is.

How about doing the chicken dance in the middle of a park on a Saturday afternoon?
Sure! I know that one, lol.

Could you go an entire week without listening to music?

Oh my gosh! I probably could but I would absolutely HATE it. I don't even go an entire day without listening to music. I don't even go for 12 hour periods without listening to music at least a little bit. A week would kill me. Seriously.

What color are the underwear you have on right now?
Black and grey striped.

Did you have any unread text messages this morning when you woke up?
Yes. That happens almost every day actually. At least one, usually two though. Sometimes three or four but almost always one at the least.

When was the last time you stayed up really late because of alcohol?
Hmm... technically Sunday night. I didn't drink but people were playing beer pong and I was watching that go on along with socializing. So that counts. ;)

How old do people usually guess you to be?
Younger than I am. It's a pain in the ass now but if it keeps up, I'll be old and still getting guessed as a few years younger. I'm sure then I won't get annoyed bu that, lol.

Have you ever attended an Ozzfest show?
Sure have! :) I think... Lol.

The Rolling Stones or Aerosmith?
I love Aerosmith. :)

80's Hair Metal or 90's Boy Bands?
Oh 80's hair metal!!!! I love hair metal. <3 style="font-weight: bold;">Ice cream or pie?
I scream! I love ice cream. Mmm.

White chocolate or milk chocolate?
Uhhh, dark chocolate or bust! Lol. Anything else is too sweet for me really.

If a stranger looked in your closet, what would they think?
That I must really like black. ;)

Steve Carell or Will Ferrell?
Uhh... Steve Carell.

Dane Cook or Will Ferrell?
Uhhh.... crap.

Adam Sandler or Will Ferrell?
Adam Sandler! :)

Do you think love should have an age limit?

Any part of your body sore?
My feet!

Is it easy for others to make you feel awkward?
Not at all.

Do you think this survey is random?
Not really. Maybe a tiny bit...

Do you use Splenda?

Would you ever use edible shoe strings in your shoes instead of real laces?
They make those? I wonder if someone with a foot fetish would dig eating othere people's edible shoe strings right off the shoe while the person was wearing it. Hmm. Anyway... No, I wouldn't use them if they even actually make them.

Do infomercials suck you in?
Sometimes I end up sucked in to watching them for a few minutes. I never buy a damn thing off of them though.

Friday, October 24, 2008

FYF times 2

Well, hello there people.

It's Friday and you know what that means? It's time for Fuck You Friday. Yep yep yep. Except, today I have a Fuck You Friday and a Fuck Yeah Friday. I was contemplating just doing the Fuck You part but then I didn't really want a whole negative post and blah blah blah. I have to share the good stuff too. Thursday was a good enough day and night that I have some good to share. Why not? I do what I want. ;)

Fuck You:

I dislike when someone gets mad about something I didn't do or say. That pisses me off. If I did or said something wrong and someone wants to call me on it, fine, lets go. We'll argue and work it out. We might want to kill each other for a few hours, or a day or three but whatever. Eventually it will be over and at least we talked it out.

I hate when someone flips out over gossip though
. I hate that people often won't go to the source and ask if this, this and that were really said. They listen to gossip and flip out but rarely go to the other person involved to find out if there's any truth to it or not. Things get exaggerated when people talk. Some people are just bitches and like to stretch things into way more than what they are for their own amusement. If you hear something and want to go off about it, you need to make sure what you heard is true.

I pick and choose what I fight about. If I'm not going to keep my mouth shut though, I'm going to try and get the facts before I fly off the handle and tear someone's head off verbally. I will at least try and ask the other person or people involved what's up and see what they have to say and take it from there. I hate when someone listens to what someone else says and without finding anything else out, goes off on me because they heard something from someone's friend of a cousin of a friend's co-workers sister. Ya know?

Fuck Yeah:

Thursday my Stars played the NY Islanders. I got to watch the first half hour of the game and then I had to take off for work. We have DVR so the game was recorded for my to watch after I got home from work later that night. Oh my wow what a game. We won 5 to 3. I wish I could have watched the game when it was on but meh, I get paid to work. Sadly, I don't get paid to watch hockey. So work wins out every single time. :) Our next game is the 25th against the Capitals. Hopefully my Stars play as well against them as they did against the Islanders. *big grin*

I'm excited about working Halloween night. Mainly because I get to dress up! I was seriously bummed about not getting to dress up because I thought we weren't going to be allowed to. We have a little notice up as of Thursday saying we can. We can do face paint but no masks and of course, nothing too trashy or revealing. I believe the phrasing was "keep it tasteful" so whee. No problems there. I'm excited. Now I just have to figure out what to dress up as. I hadn't put any thought into a work costume since I didn't think I'd be getting to do anything for that. I'm happy. :)

I'm still loving my new body soap. The sea salt with microbead stuff? Mmm. It leaves my skin feeling soft and clean. I love to feel clean. I feel nice and fresh and that stuff has a really nice smell to it. Not an overpowering smell and not anything in particular. Just a good clean scent. I love it.

I got my blogroll updated to the snazzy one blogger offers. I deleted some and added a few. I know I likely forgot someone so scroll down it and make sure you're on there. If not, comment so I can flippin' remember who I forgot, lol. :)

Happy Friday!!!

Have a great weekend y'all!

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

HNT Reject

So my Stars played Wednesday against New Jersey. We lost horribly, 5 to 0. Ouch. So far, we've had a really slow start this season. I still love and cheer on my team, even as I'm watching them play crappy and get annihilated by another team, lol. We beat the Rangers on Monday, lost to the Devils Wednesday and I'm hoping Thursday's game against the Islanders goes much better than the game against New Jersey did.

I woke up Wednesday feeling weird. I was a little worried about it but as the day progressed, it all slowly faded away and I felt as normal as I usually do. Thankfully. I would be crying if I had to go to a doctor. Medical bills suuuck. Lol.

That's all for today. My head is still killing me right now and it was aching on and off all day Wednesday. Probably from getting a trunk door slammed in to it on Tuesday night, lol.


Happy Thursday!!!

Happy Birthday! :)

Today is someone's birthday! Technically, every day is someone's birthday. Today happens to be the birthday of someone I like and adore. She's smart, funny, charming, pretty, fun, caring, sweet and an all around really cool person. Yep, I'm talking about Another Suburban Mom. Go over to her blog and wish her a happy birthday if you haven't already. ;)

Wednesday Weirdness & Stuff

Wednesday Weirdness #26: Happy Birthday Edition

1. Is there a particular birthday that you are dreading? (ex: 40th) Why?

Nope. I don't dread getting older. I might make jokes about it but really I don't mean anything by it. At least not yet anyway, lol. :)

2. What is your favorite birthday memory?

Just spending times with family and friends. I don't have one that sticks out more over any other. They're all pretty great.

3. What was the best birthday present you ever received? The worst?

I don't even know. As far as the worst goes? I get CD's and books a lot. Gadgets and gift cards. Things from Bath and Body Works. I'm lucky enough that the people who buy me gifts know me well enough that they always get me something I like. If not, they're smart enough to ask someone who does know what I would really like. So, I've never really had a bad gift. :)

I guess some really awesome birthday gifts in the passed are for one recently, my awesome boyfriend got me tickets to a huge summer show called Edgefest that was in Dallas. I loved over half of the bands that were on that line-up. That was pretty wicked. I got some Dallas Stars stuff another time that was pretty fucking awesome. One of my friends got me an awesome pair of hooker boots once that I wanted but couldn't afford. A special edition leather bound copy of poetry by Edgar Allen Poe is another one of my favorites.

4. Frosting roses: Love them or hate them?

Don't care for them. I don't like roses at all. I also don't like a lot of frosting or sweet stuff in general. A lot of sweetness makes my stomach hurt. I usually scrape most of the icing off anyway. :)

5. Do you like when people make a big deal out of your birthday, or do you prefer a quiet or no celebration?

I'm fine either way to an extent. A big deal is fine if it isn't over done. A nice little celebration is nice too. So long as I'm with people I love and like and everyone is having a good time, I'm fine.

6. Surprise parties; Good or Evil?

Both. The thought, planning and all the preperation that goes in to them is totally sweet. It's hard work to plan a surprise party without anything slipping to the person you're surprising. So I appreciate all the effort and care that goes into it and think it's awesome but I would rather know. I don't dig being surprised in huge ways, lol.

I'm skipping the bonus question. :)
And yes, I can do that because I can do what I want on my blog. This blog doesn't get much in the ways of sexual content any more so that rules the bonus question out. Mk? Mk. :)

So Tuesday my mom, sister and youngest brother went shopping. I got a new pair of Vans, a new pair of running shoes, two shirts, a beanie, some Jack Daniels pajama bottoms, a pair of knee high socks and an awesome new hoodie. The cool thing about the hoodie is that it's like two in one. It's fleece inside and knit on the outside. The hood has fleece lining the inside too. It's super soft and keeps me very warm. It's black with a gray design on it. We went to Mervyn's since they're closing and everything was on sale. I saved $96 on all the stuff I got with the discounts from the sale. Which made me a happy camper. I wanted some other stuff but I didn't want to spend more money on extra stuff that could wait. I'll post some pictures of things when I take some. :)

After shopping, I got knocked out in the parking lot, lol. One of my younger siblings didn't realize I was still bent over putting something away in to the trunk, began to quickly bring the trunk down to close it and knocked me hard in the head with the thing. I fell back and don't remember hitting the ground but I remember opening my eyes up, having a sharp pain in my head, seeing stars, being dizzy and keeping my ass on the ground because I couldn't figure out which way to move, lol. My family helped me sit up and I sat on the ground until everything stopped spinning and I stopped seeing double. My head still hurts right now but I just took some more aspirin so I should be good, lol. The last time I had that much of an issue with my head was when I got a concussion from an accident at a concert. That's another story for another day. :)

Anyway, after that mishap, we had dinner out with my dad. It didn't take too long to decide where we all wanted to go, lol. Which was nice and the food was really good. The waitress was actually pretty rude but oh well, that happens. Which brings me to yet another question to ask everyone out there in blogland, lol. How do you deal when you go out and get bad service from the person waiting on you? Stiff them on a tip? Complain to their manager? Say nothing and just never go back? I always wonder how different people handle these things. Thanks for all the comments on the lotion question from my Tuesday post too. ;) I still have to get to explaining the other part of why I asked that buuut not today, lol.

Happy Wednesday!

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Hello! :)

So I haven't posted in a week now. I have a crapload of e-mails from lots of y'all wanting to know where I've been and if I'm alright. So that's cool and thanks y'all. ;) I'm fine, been fine and all is well. I had an issue with my laptop's power chord going out on me last week and it took me a week to get it replaced about. I'm back now and I'll reply to all the e-mails later tonight probably. Thanks again for checking up on me people. ;)

I'm skipping TMIT for today. Great questions but I'm just not interested in messing with it today, lol.

This weekend was pretty cool. I worked and went to two parties. The parties were decent enough. My Texas friends are way more fun though. ;) Just the way we interact and the stuff we do in general is more fun but it's not so bad hanging out with people around here too. I'm probably just biased but whatever. ;)

We have the NHL Center Ice package on DirecTV and I fucking love it. =) I've got to watch most of my Stars game. Monday's game against the Rangers didn't record buuuut we WOOOOON!!!!!! YAYYYY!!!! :D <3

Monday night at work SUCKED. I was not even in a good mood when I got off but I called my boyfriend and talked to him which perked me up. I just really cannot stand to work with a certain person. She's really the only that too. I just want to punch her in her face anytime I have to work with her. I try to ignore her but her being constantly on someone's ass is hard to ignore, especially if you're the one she wants to bother. Why is your phone on? Why isn't your phone in your locker? Why aren't you starting your closing duties two hours before close? How come you went 90 seconds over on your break? Or question on why you do this a certain why and why don't you do that this way instead because it's easier that way and blah blah blah. I know how to do my job, I don't need her or anyone else telling me what I need to do, how to do it and when to do it. Fuck off bitch. :)

Ahem... :)

I got some orange glow bracelts! They were a big dollar at Wal-Mart. I was in there Monday night after work getting shower gel, razor blades, body soap and all that good stuff. I, of course, had to check out the Halloween aisles. I found all the glow sticks, glow barecelts, glow necklaces and all that stuff. I said I would only stick to the things I actually needed but I figured one package of 3 glow bracelets was one dollar so whatever, lol. I can't resist those things. They only had pink glowsticks that I saw so I passed. I'm going back to check for more with my tip money Thursday night, lol. :D

Today and tomorrow are my days off. No trips to the dentist though so hell yeah. I'm going shopping with my mom, sister and youngest brother. I'm finally going to buy some new work shoes. Or I'll buy running shoes and keep wearing the same dingy DC's that I have been wearing. I need to look for a heavy hoodie too. Or something. It's getting fucking cold here at night and I don't have anything that will work for that, lol.

Okay, so I have a question. It's part curiosity and part point. I would like to know what kind of body lotion everyone out there uses. Whether you use something for making your dry skin softer. Something to make your oily skin less oily. Good smelling stuff? Scentless stuff? Organic? Sensitive skin? If you use it just to smell nice. If you only use hand cream or if you smooth it on certain points or all over. What kind of lotion do you use and what does it do for you? Please share. :) I do have a reason for asking, other than curiosity, I'll share my point later on, once I get some answers. :)

That's all I have for today. Don't forget Wednesday Weirdness tomorrow! ;)

Happy Tuesday y'all!

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Psst... Happy Birthday to...

Happy Birthday to Rage!!!!

Yep yep, today is Rage's birthday and because I knew about it courtesy of her mentioning it in posts, I made a post about it. This is why you shouldn't let me find out about your birthday if you're someone I really like out there in Blog Land. I will inevitably make a special post just for you. Hehehe.

Y'all go tell that lovely woman happy birthday now. ;)

This and that

I want to go get a pumpkin.

To carve into a funky little pumpkin face. Then I'll sit it outside somewhere for people to admire. The last time I carved me a pumpkin was.... so long ago that I can't even remember how old I was! How sad. I never really cared for pumpkin carving honestly. The last time I did it, it turned out crappy on the three pumpkins I attempted to mark up. I think subconsciously, I quit after that. I want to try again. I need to get a pumpkin first, lol.

I like painting little faces and the baby pumpkins that are too tiny to carve. Then smashing them once they're long passed their prime.

One of my friends is concerning me a little bit. Friend has been dating his current girlfriend for about 2 months now. They have known each other 2 months. They day they met first was the night of their first date. They went over the weekend because she wanted to look at wedding dresses. For herself... because they've been talking about marriage the last two weeks... with each other. He's not in love with her. She's not in love with him. They just like each other, a whole lot. They can see that they could end up being in love though. They can see that, you know, like super cool psychic vision. He said I was being the silly one for thinking he was nuts to be talking marriage and checking out wedding dresses with someone he doesn't love. Someone he doesn't even see every day. Someone he's never spent an entire night with. Someone he barely knows. I asked him so many questions about her and he couldn't even answer most of them. He thinks I'm being silly thinking they should calm down and slow up on these things. They're seriously considering getting married because hey, if it doesn't work out, they can just get divorced, right? *rolls eyes* They're both older than I am by the way. I mentioned maybe they could just ya know, sleep over at one or the others apartment one night. Make the effort to try and see each other every day since the only reason they don't see each other is if they just forget to call each other. Maybe get to know each other a little bit better. Find out if she can cook, if she wants a guy to cook, if she's a neat freak or messy, find out where she actually works. Yep, he knows what she does he just doesn't know where exactly it is she works. Yeah, I'm the nutty one for sure. :) I hope he stops smoking whatever he's on though. I mean, it could turn out okay but seriously? Why rush into something that in my opinion, isn't something that should be rushed in to at all.... I just don't get it. *Sigh* Sometimes, I get the urge to grab certain friends of mine and shake the hell out of them. Maybe shake something into place so they can think clearly. I'm hoping this friend just needs a cold shower to snap out of what he's thinking now. Is that mean? Maybe. I don't care. I really don't think marriage is something to be rushed in to. I thought he was joking with me at first too. It took me seriously ten minutes to realize the kid was being serious with me about his considerations.


Tomorrow is that day again. Weird Wednesday. Yep yep. Questions usually show up early, around 9 or 10 pm central time Tuesday nights. Gives people plenty of time to join in the Wednesday Weirdness. So come play with us. ;)

I saw some black nail polish in a total novelty bottle last night. They had nail polish bottles in the shapes of a bat, a broomstick, a rose and a potion bottle. The colors were black, blood red and silver. I want the black polish in the potion bottle and the bat. I bet the polish is crap but the little novelty bottles are so cool looking. :) There were also 10 other things I wanted too. A Halloween themed iPod case with bats and ghosts on it. A few pairs of knee high socks with various different designs. Skulls, bats, ghosts, witches and some other creepy crawly things. A Batman beanie that came with mittens with the bat logo where the palm is. A choker necklace made up of black stars. Some other stuff too. Good thing I have good control over myself when I go shopping. I'm good about knowing when I have money to blow on stuff I absolutely do not need and when I don't have money to do such things. So instead, I purchased none of those things and just looked longingly at them instead, lol.

I played too much information Tuesday today, just not here. :)

I need some new insoles for my work shoes. The ones I have in there are way passed their expiration date, lol. The poor things look terrible. They're so run down, it's not even funny. I need to put that on my "To Buy" list. Right below good smelling exfoliating body wash, deodorant, tooth paste, new tooth brush, mouth wash and laundry detergent. Priorities ya know. ;)

Why is tea so good? Tell me why. The exception to this is if you don't like any kind of tea at all. In that case, shhh. You don't need to tell me that tea is nasty. That's your opinion and that's fine. I think peas, tofu, cauliflower, mayonnaise, prune juice, plums, grape juice and licorice are all pretty disgusting myself but I'm sure some of you like some of those nasty things, lol. Though my thing with grape juice is because I relate that taste to the taste of Dimetapp medicine and ICK. Lol.

I get my stitches out tomorrow! Hell yes. :) Not that I'm counting down days or hours or anything like that. :)

Happy Tuesday y'all!

Monday, October 13, 2008

I'm a chatterbox... :)

I can't freaking wait for Wednesday!

Why you ask?

I go back to the oral doctor and get these fucking stitches removed from the inside of my mouth. OH MY GOSH they are annoying me! I can't touch them. I can't even get to them. ARGH ARGH ARGH! I think that has got to be one of the most annoying places to get stitches.

Just sayin'.

Anyway, I'm excited for Wednesday. I get my stitches out. Then I get another week to let my mouth heal up further. Then the next Wednesday or maybe Tuesday, I get the next procedure done. Rinse and repeat. Hello. Fuck.

Also, I'm off Wednesday. So I'll be home to see the Stars take on the Predators again.When the game is actually on! At home this time. Fuckers. We're going to win this one. I hope. We're off to a slow start this time but I have faith in my Stars. <3>

I started reading "Midnight In The Garden Of Good And Evil" yesterday. I've read bits and pieces of it before but never the whole thing so I got it during my last visit to Barnes & Noble. I still have my Laurell K. Hamilton graphic novels to read too. I love those things. :D

I'm so excited for Halloween. I'm not even doing anything Halloween night. Well, I'll be working until 1 or 2 AM but... Lol. I still just love it though. :) I love the whole feel of it all. It's just a great time. October is one of my favorite months. I love it. I want to go to the Halloween store close to Halloween. They start discounting stuff to get rid of it and they have awesome stuff I want. Socks, leggings, arm coverings, dark make up and all kinds of badass Goth stuff. All for a discounted price. Not to mention all the glow sticks! Loves it.

Happy Monday y'all!

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Saturday Survey

Is smoki​ng one of your turn offs?​
I'd be a hypocrite to say yes but honestly, when someone smokes so much that they taste and smell like an overflowing ash tray, it is a turn off.

Do you like the song 'I Kisse​d A Girl'​​ by Katy Perry​?​​
Cherry Chapstick is gross. Oh and no, I don't. It's annoying as hell. That song and the "trend" of girls acting bisexual because "like omg it's hawt!" annoys me too. I'll skip that rant today though.

Do you liste​n to your frien​d'​​s advic​e when they give it to you?
I rarely ask my friend's for advice. It's always the other way around it seems.

What'​​s the last kind of soup you ate?
One of the delicious homemade soups my mom has made me because I can't eat anything because of this stupid dental crap going on. Argh! At least my mom makes some badass soup. Mmmm.

Does it gross​ you out when girls​ don'​​t shave​ their​ legs/​​armpi​ts?​​
As long as I don't have to see it and they're not touching me with their hairy body parts, I couldn't care less.

What'​​s so great​ about​ the Jonas​ Broth​ers?​​
I dunno. I don't think my little brother or sister likes them so I had never even header of them until like two or three weeks ago and then I was informed. From people at work because apparently one of the guys I work with looks like one of these brothers. So some of the girls like to call him by whatever brother he looks likes name. It pisses him off so it's kinda funny. I don't get what's so great about them but I'm not a Disney nut or a teeny bopper either soooooooo.... Lol.

What kind of dog do you want?​​
An Alaskan Husky or a black Labrador. :)

Do you curre​ntly have a sunbu​rn?​​
I don't sunburn. I also don't go outside for extensive periods of times when the sun is up.

Could​ you eat nothi​ng but grill​ed chees​e sandwiches for every meal for a week strai​ght?​​
I could but EWW. Wait, if you don't put butter on the bread, I could. I love cheese. No wait, just let me eat some grilled cheese minus the butter once a day and then skip the sandwich part and just give me the cheese for the rest of the meals. Yes. :)

Who'​​s your favor​ite rap artist?
Easy! One with his mouth shut. Ooooh! :)

What color​ was the last drink​ you consu​med?​​

Have your paren​ts told you that you could​n'​​t hang out with a certa​in perso​n?​​
Maybe, when I was a little kid. I don't remember, lol.

Would​ you rathe​r shave​ your head or dye your hair brigh​t orang​e?​​
I AM NOT SHAVING MY HEAD. What's wrong with bright orange? I love bright orange colors. As long as I can pick the shade of bright orange, I'm going with that. I've had my hair burnt orange before. Also brown with dark orange highlights.

Could​ you last an hour witho​ut talki​ng?
Oh definitely. :)

Are more of your frien​ds’ paren​ts divor​ced or still​ marri​ed?​​
I don't know. Some have married parents. Some have parents on their 4th and 5th marriages. Some have one parent and don't even know who the other is. Some have neither. Some have both and talk to neither. One has two mommy's and a daddy because mommy decided two years ago she loved women so she divorced daddy and hooked up with her former boss lady. It's a healthy mix of dysfunction I'd say.

Were you happy​ when you woke up today​?​​
I was amused, from this.

What are you liste​ning to right​ now?

Who was the last perso​n who calle​d you?
That I answered the phone to? My boyfriend. :D The last person to call me got ignored. Oops.

Would​ your paren​ts be mad if you found out today that you were one month pregnant?​​
Meh, maybe but that would be the least of my worries. My boyfriend would be livid though. Ya know, since I haven't seen him since July (fuck! :( Lol) so he'd have a right to be pretty pissed if I called and told him I was one month pregnant, lol.

When was the last time you cried​?​​
None of your business. :)

Are you a Holli​ster/​​Aberc​rombi​e kind of perso​n?​
NO. I own absolutely nothing from either store. Not my style, lol.

Have any inter​estin​g conve​rsati​ons latel​y?​​
Dude yeah. :) Philly Bo Billy and Kitty Kat are always good for an interesting conversations. PBP just thinks too much and always asks and thinks up the most obscure and random things. Kitty Kat IS just random and obscure so talking with her is always interesting. I love my friends, lol. <3>

Who is the last perso​n you share​d a bed with?​​

Okay, so he's not technically a person. So what? Lol.

Who was the last perso​n to leave​ you a voice​mail?​​
Shit, I just remembered I have two voicemails I need to check from a couple days ago. Oops.

Have you ever punch​ed a guy?
Oh quite a few. :)

Are you curre​ntly wanti​ng any pierc​ings or tatto​os?​​
Yes! Yes! YES!

Do you have trust​ issue​s?​​

Are you open with your feelings to people?
Hahahahaha... No. Well, most people, no. There's a small number of people I am more at ease with my emotions with so I'm more open with them.

Do you care what peopl​e think​ about​ you?
Rarely. I wonder sometimes, like anyone else. There's a few certain people who it bothers me when they think certain things, especially when the things they're thinking are untrue but they don't have the nerve to talk to me over them.

Have you ever done somet​hing to make troub​le?​​
I have before.

Who was the last perso​n'​​s stoma​ch you saw?
In a picture? Crazy Girl sent me a picture message showing me her pregnant belly a couple days ago.

Hones​tly,​​ do you hate the last boy you were talki​ng to in perso​n?​​
That would be my brother just now leaving for work so NO, lol.

Do you put ketch​up on top of your frenc​h fries​ or on the side?​​
On the side. When there's no ranch.

Have you ever cried​ while​ in the showe​r?​​

When was the last time you were disap​point​ed?​​

How long have you known​ the perso​n you'​​re datin​g?​
.....Uhh... Around 3 and a 1/2 years I think.

Have you ever worn a candy string bra?
No. I so wouldn't be able to fit my boobs into one of those things.

Friday, October 10, 2008

Friday :)

I was running a ride in an amusement park that resided in a graveyard. It was a big rollercoaster and I had a little side car separate from the long train of cars. I started just before the train of cars in my little single car. The track was just a thick, giant plastic type supported with steel beams all around. The track was like a big Hot Wheels Race Car track. I had a remote control car in front of me and I had to make the car stay far enough in front of me that it did tricks to amuse the people speeding along in all the cars following closely behind mine. Then at the end I had to jump from my car in the middle of the final loop, grab the remote control car and then "fly" down to the ground safely as the long car of kids and adults observed as they went through the loop watching in amazement. I did all this wearing hideous purple and silver stiletto pumps, black pants with silver sequins, a purple top with a big orange logo on the front and a bright orange super hero cape.

Then I was working in the mall parking garage's bar, serving up drinks to people as they got out of their car and headed into the mall because who doesn't need a drink before Christmas shopping? I got into a fight with some carolers and smashed martini classes over all of their heads, which made them sizzle, burst into flames and disintegrate. Then all that was left was their festive holiday coats in red, white and green that weren't singed or anything from the flame. Then a bunch of homeless people appeared and stampeded towards me. Only it wasn't booze they were rushing for it, it was the festive coats they wanted and began arm wrestling over. Not all out fighting but yes, arm wrestling. The loser bums went on their way quietly letting all the winners gather themselves in the snug coats the former carolers had been wearing minutes ago. Then they skipped away single "Jingle Bells" all together like a merry little group of people. I decided to close the bar which was I pushed a button and every bottle, glass, ice cube, blender and other stuff folded into itself until the bar was just a big rectangle box. I pushed it into the storage closet, locked the door and went on my way, walking over to the mall.

I went ice skating in the mall's ice skating rink. Big Bird, Frankenstein, a fat Dracula, Elvis and Eminem were ice skating as well as children, teenagers and adults of all size and color. And by color I mean they were red, purple, green, blue and orange colored. I remember taking pictures of everyone, amazed at what I was seeing. Then I went onto the ice in my neon green ice skates and flew around in circles, passing everyone out there who was leisurely skating and having fun. I went faster and faster until everyone was just a big colorful blur and I couldn't even really see in front of me but I just kept going. Then when I finally stopped, I was standing outside somewhere, in a moonlit clearing where there was a party going on or something. I walked around, in my neon green skates still, trying to see if I recognized anyone and realized all the party goers were just mannequins which is why no one was moving. I walked to the end and came to a glass wall, looking out at normal people walking around in a mall. I realized I was in a giant display case in some weird store I assumed. I tried to make my way back the way I thought I came and ran into a wall. I went the other way and hit another wall. I sat down against the wall and noticed a mannequin in a pretty corset dress that was wearing some comfy looking Vans shoes so I took off my skates, took the Vans from the mannequin and put them on my feet, putting the skates on her instead. I leaned back against the wall and was trying to figure out a way out of the display when I noticed a door only a few feet away from me. I moved to it and tried to open it but it wouldn't budge. In white block letters, it said "Store" on it so I pounded on it and kicked at it. Finally, someone from the other side opened the door and let me come through. I was in Spencer's in the mall and I ran out of the store and into the mall. Real people moving all around me, shopping and laughing. I started feeling a panic so I ran for the exit. I was back outside in no time and went into the parking garage. I pulled keys out of my pocket but didn't recognize them. So I searched the whole garage for what I hoped would be my car. I looked over the remote attached to the key, hoping for a panic button or an alarm so I could easily find the vehicle since it would be making noise. No such luck, just a lock button, an unlock button, a button with windshield wipers on it and a button with a tire on it. I hit the unlock button on the remote over and over, walking around looking for the vehicle with randomly blinking tail lights. I finally found it, a black SUV monstrosity. I climbed in, started it and the thing drove itself so I just sat there and let it take me to where ever, amazed at how well the SUV drove itself. I was in Dallas but the house I ended up in the driveway of was one of the houses we lived in when we lived in South Texas so long ago. It was by far the weirdest and creepiest house we ever lived in. I sat in the driveway until the sun went down just looking at the house. I finally got out but when I tried all the keys on my key chain, none worked and I couldn't get in. I knocked on the door and my mom answered, asking me why I had sat in the drive way so long before coming in. I walked in and then followed her to the kitchen, where everyone was having dinner. Then as I was about to step in the kitchen, the floor opened up, swallowed me down and off I was going. Sliding down an endless dark tunnel for what seemed like the longest time. Sliding around twists, turns and steep drops. When I finally shot out, I was back at the amusement park. Back in that ridiculous costume and getting ready to perform my weird little show on the rollercoaster.

Then I woke up. I didn't eat any spicy food either at all yesterday. I haven't had anything but soup, mashed potatoes and pudding for the last few days, lol. I was reading an odd book before I went to bed last night. This dream isn't one of the weirdest I've had. Usually, my dreams are a little more dark and freaky. I woke up feeling more amused then anything today after that dream.

I like to write my dreams down. All of them. Mostly, they end up looking like something out of a horror book but sometimes I have just random weird ones. Occasionally I have good dreams but those don't happen often. I dream every night and I usually remember the details very well when I wake up. So, I type them out or write them down so I can remember them. It's kind of weird I guess but in doing so, I've found that I have quite a few reoccurring dreams that progress further along a little bit each time I have them.

I think that dreams are several things.

I think sometimes, dreams are your subconscious showing you things, telling you things, that you won't believe or admit to in your waking time. Analyzing dreams is always fun. I have books on it but the thing is, I never take any of the analyzing too seriously. It's mostly just fun to do and interesting to see what kind of outcomes I can get. Sometimes I look a little more into something and at times have realized things I was worrying about that I didn't realize I even had on my mind. Again, mostly it's just for kicks though I do believe slightly that you can learn things from dreams.

Sometimes, I think it's just my subconscious running wild, playing in my memory bank and pulling things out and putting on an odd little show. Like in this dream, the thing with the mannequins and being trapped in there shortly? I didn't remember it until today after I woke up but now I remember that as a little kid, I was also anxious in department stores because of the mannequin displays in their glass casings. I was always afraid I would some how end up inside one, stuck for life in there with only mannequins for company. I had irrational and weird fears back then. Same as now I guess, lol. I remember one day in a store, I crept to the mannequin display and sat down beside one of them and then slowly edged more into the glass display until I could be seen from the outside but more so, so I was sitting in there with them. I only stayed a few minutes because I didn't want to get in trouble by my mom or a store clerk, but after that, I wasn't afraid of being stuck in a glass case with a bunch of mannequins any longer.

Regardless, I always enjoy writing about my dreams once I wake up because they seem interesting. To me. Even the weird ones I don't understand at all. I've been thinking lately I want to try and do a book of dreams. Not an analyzing handbook or anything like that. More like a book that is a collection of short stories based on the weird dreams I have. Then I'll probably add more to them creatively to make them longer but not very much so. I dunno. I think it would be cool and I know I have more than enough material to use. My only issue is that I doubt anyone would want to buy and read a book like that.

Anyway.... I'm feeling better today. I still talk like a 5 year old and my jaw is a little swollen. The Ibuprofen is good for the slight pain I feel but it's more annoying discomfort than anything else. I have to work tonight. I haven't worked all week so far and I can't not work, lol. Got to pay those doctor bills some how ya know. Plus I miss working, lol. I hate lounging around the house all day and night without a lot of productivity going on. :)
Happy Friday!

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Oral HNT

Early Wednesday afternoon, I got the first part of my oral surgery done. I was really relaxed on the car ride there. I was cool in the waiting room, enjoying the soft, plush chair and the music coming out of my iPod. I was cool when the doctor came to the waiting room and called me up. I was calm right up until I was sitting in the room about to begin. Then, I was nervous as hell, lol.

First, they had to get another couple of x-rays so they could see certain parts more clearly. My visit last week, they did full x-rays but some things didn't come out as clearly so they did three more. The hygienist/dental assistant was the same as the last time. She's really nice and helped me relax some more by talking with me about tattoos and funky jewelry.

After the doctor looked over the new x-rays, they got started by numbing my mouth and then shooting me up with stuff to numb my jaw. Then they shot me up with some stronger stuff in my gums to numb all that stuff. Then they got started and I was a little nervous again. He stopped a few times during the procedure to give my mouth a break from being open for so long and to inject more anesthetic to help numb parts even more so I didn't feel any pain.

The procedure took a little over an hour but I have a kickass doctor who kept me nicely doped up and I didn't feel hardly any pain at all. Mostly just a lot (A LOT) of pressure but that wasn't even that bad. I actually like the doctor and for me, that's good. Despite my aspirations to work in the medical field, I generally can't stand most doctors. This guy is good though. By the time I was hazily thinking I was probably only half done, he was moving away to grab some things so he could clean my mouth and get the inside of my mouth stitched up. Him doing the stitches on me was probably the most awkward feeling of them all. It just felt very... weird, lol.

I had some gauze stuck in my mouth for the longest time absorbing the blood. I think we changed that gauze in my mouth 6 times before it was no longer bleeding. I also got a cold compress to hold against my jaw to help with the pain immediately after the procedure.

I go back in one week so he can check out his handy work and remove the damn stitches. Oh and to set up the next appointment for the next procedure I get to have done. Joy joy.

I got some high strength Ibuprofen for the pain but I'm not hurting too much. Not yet anyway, lol. He said the thing that will hurt most will likely be my jaw so bleh but oh well. Though it's almost 8 hours later and I'm still only a little sore in the jaw so I'm not sure how much pain I'm going to face. If it doesn't get any worse, I won't be complaining. At all. I'm relieved that I wasn't in the amount of pain I was expecting. He was actually surprised that I took everything so well and didn't beg to be knocked out or something. The only thing, aside from my jaw being very slightly sore, is it hurts to open my mouth very wide and if I laugh too much, it pulls at that stitches. That's more annoying than painful though. Stupid stitches! Eating is a pain in the ass too. I'm not normally a painfully slow eater but I have to take forever to chew. Soft foods only. Chewing only on the right side of my mouth. It's tiring to eat, lol.

All in all.... I'm actually really happy with how things went Wednesday and I'm not totally dreading the next procedure now. :)

Though, I'm not really in the mood for taking anything sassy for HNT today so you get these. Enjoy, lol.


Happy Thursday!!!

What word?

Today is my visit with the oral doctor. Technically in a little more than 12 hours, I'll be sitting in the office, awaiting my turn for a visit with the good doctor. I'm a little apprehensive about the possible pain that's going to come with it but meh, whatever. :)

Half of Tuesday, I thought it was Monday. So if you got any kind of comment or e-mail from me wishing you a good Monday yesterday just ya know, know that I meant Tuesday. D'oh.

I was eating one of those fun sized bags of M&M's candies on Tuesday and about halfway through, I noticed I was eating them in order of color. I think the brown or the yellows were the first ones gone. I know when I noticed I had them sectioned out into little groups by color and was eating them one color group at a time, I had only green, blue and red left. I didn't consciously remember sectioning them out into color groups though. I just looked at them halfway through and it clicked that hey, look what you're doing! I thought about it some more and tried to think of other things I might do this with. I came up with nothing. Then again, I didn't realize until today I did that with the M&M's. I'll have to watch what I'm doing now to see if any other compulsive little things pop up that I didn't realize before.

Boyfriend also has a doctor's appointment today. He's been sick the last few days and Tuesday he started having an issue that was a bit more worrisome than his other ailments. So he quickly made an appointment with his family physician for this afternoon to see if everything's okay or not. I'm hoping it's nothing bad. *Sigh*

Friday night is the season opener for my Dallas Stars! We play the Columbus Blue Jackets. I'll be at work but hopefully I can get the game recorded so I can watch it later. :) Hoooorrrraaaaayyyy!

You Are Impact

You are very unique and quite striking. You are forceful and aggressive.

You never go unnoticed, and people recognize your power instantly.

While you make your presence known, your message is a bit fuzzy.

You are not the easiest person to understand, and you're not one for details.

You Should Call Your Boobs

Slap & Tickle

What Your Halloween Habits Say About You

You love the drama of Halloween. You definitely like to have the best costume around - and everyone noticing you.

No one quite understands you, but everyone also sort of worships you. And that's exactly how you like it.

Your inner child is open minded, playful, and adventurous.

Your fears are irrational and varied. It's hard to predict what you may be afraid of on any given day.

You're prone to be quite emotional and over dramatic. Deep down, you enjoy being scared out of your mind... even if you don't admit it.

You are unique, expressive, and a trendsetter. Your ideal Halloween costume is over the top and one of a kind.