Monday, September 29, 2008

The sun sets forever over Blackwater park....

I have the best boyfriend ever. People say that. Everyone has the best significant other ever, to them. What is amazing to you would drive me up the wall. Everyone is different and everyone has different wants, needs and requirements in a relationship. For me, I have the best boyfriend ever.

He has flaws, no one is exempt from those. Everyone has their bad qualities. He has his flaws, just like me and everyone else in the world does. There is far more good there than there is bad though. The bad don't compare against the good.

He fucks up and makes mistakes sometimes. Everyone does. They're often small and silly things. Accidental or unintentional. It's not a big thing.
It's never anything that can't be fixed or worked out. I've fucked up worse than he has by far in our relationship. No one needs to know any particulars but just know that most people would have walked away at that point and I was beyond shocked that he wasn't ready to end things then. We worked through it. He's always willing to work through things, no matter what it is. Some things take more time than others but in the end, we make it through. Which is how I know we can do this long distance thing for a while. It's hard. It will be okay though.

We fight sometimes. It's usually over small and stupid things. He doesn't have a temper but I do and he can set it off easily some times. It's always easiest for people who know you well to push your buttons and set you off more quickly than anyone else can. Even when they're not trying to at all. It happens. I'm not very patient and he's insanely patient. My impatience combined with my temper has caused a good many fights between us. He makes me so angry at times but it never lasts. He can agitate me like no one else can but again, it never lasts and it's gone fairly quickly compared to others.

He's there for me. No matter if I'm angry, upset, sad, freaked out, nervous or anything really.. he's there for me. If I need to vent, laugh, cry, bitch, rant or tell him something exciting, he makes time to listen and listens genuinely. He never half listens to me. He may not always know what to say but he tries to be there for me as much as he can. He listens. I appreciate that. It's wonderful to have someone you can rely on.

He doesn't laugh at my goals, even the ones that seem silly. He doesn't make me feel like I'm stupid. He doesn't make me feel like I'm wrong. He doesn't make me feel like I'm not good enough in any way to do the things I want to do.
He's supportive of me. He believes in me.

He makes me laugh. He will act completely ridiculous just to make me laugh. He can almost always cheer me up. No matter what it is, he can act goofy and make me feel better. Some times it takes longer than others but he does it. When I'm feeling down or when I've had a bad day, he can make me feel better.

He sees all my weird little quirks and tendencies and he just finds them cute or amusing. He sees some of the more odd things I do and say and he doesn't make me feel like I'm weird, wrong or fucked up to like those things. I can talk to him about anything, no matter how weird, deep, gross, private, morbid or random it may be. I've never felt more comfortable around anyone, ever.

He knows me so well. Really knows me and for the most part, he gets me. He gets me in ways that many other people don't. He rarely ever gets the wrong idea about something and if he's confused or unsure, he'll ask. He doesn't misconceive things about me the way others do and that's because he knows me very well. Partly because I let him. I took my guards down, slowly but surely and let him close to me, let him know me and gave him the chance to know me in a way most people don't. What's better is that he saw most of it all and he didn't lose interest. Sometimes, he gets confused by me and I can't help that. I confuse the shit out of me sometimes too so it's only natural that I would confuse other people too. Even with the confusion and all the things that are wrong, he sees the good that's there and he understands. He doesn't understand everything but he doesn't pretend to either and I appreciate that about him. He never pretends with me. He never wrongly assumes or judges wrongly. He'll openly talk with me and sometimes, that doesn't go well but we get through. I let my guard down, slowly but surely and he just accepted me. Even better, he understands me, tries his damn hardest to make me happy, treats me well and loves me more than words can explain.

All that most people ever see is the outside. I'm not excluding myself from that either. Getting to know someone is like looking through a window. You see more than you do from just standing on the street looking over but you still don't really know or get what you're seeing completely. You can't ever completely know someone until you know their mind and their heart. People are comfortable with what they see on the surface, with what they think they know based on the things they see and their own perceptions. Not to say that what they see is wrong but it's only a small part of what's really there.


Southern Sage said...

Sounds like love to me Ar.

good for you, I bet he'd say he was the lucky one though.

The Bizza said...

That was an excellent tribute to your man. You honor him with your kind words. You two sound ideally matched.

phairhead said...

It's very rare to make a connection like that w/ anyone. Congrats!

AR's Boyfriend said...

Aww. That was so sweet. And yes I am the lucky one. She is more awesome than me. I love her with everything in my being.

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Amorous Rocker said...

Thanks y'all. :)

Board Owner said...

he's still a little boy...
your too smart and innovative for a kid

nice to read you again

Hope it's all ok