Friday, June 27, 2008

Hello.

You may have noticed that things look a little different around here. No funky error chewed up my blog and spit it back out empty. I have cleared it up so to speak. I will work on it the next couple days to get it all snazzy looking again. All the posts are gone. Most of them are going to stay that way too.

I am no longer going to be playing HNT any longer. Maybe I will but it won't be the things people are used to seeing.
If I keep playing HNT, they will be tame pictures. Y'all will be quite sick of seeing my eyes, lips, face, shoulders and neck if I do keep playing.

There's been some issues going on recently in my real life that have made me decide to quit playing. It has absolutely nothing to do with my boyfriend. He's been cool about it all this time and he rocks for that. The issues with it lie in a couple of other places. I feel violated horribly of my privacy and violated of things that delve far deeper than simple privacy issues. It is nothing any of you did though. It has very little to do with anything online at all. Don't think I'm letting some creep on the internet get the best of me. I'm stronger than that. Please don't apologize at all for anything because none of you are responsible. The one who is knows it already. I won't post about it in any more detail. It's very personal and I'd prefer not to air it to any and everyone reading this. No offense. I feel violated and honestly pretty angry about the whole ordeal. Along with several other emotions. *Sigh*

The posting is going to stay the same though for the most part. I contemplated just deleting my blog but my problem there is I love to write. I love my blog and the outlet it gives me to ramble on and on about things.

So moving on to something happier. Anyone who reads here at all knows that I'm bisexual. Something that has bothered me for years was wanting to be open about that with my family. I felt I was unable to because I didn't quite know how my family would react. I didn't want them treating me differently just because I like guys and girls. So late Thursday night/early Friday morning, my boyfriend and I were still at my mom's house. We were talking about some issues and the subject of sex came up. I just finally looked at my mom and said, "So you know I'm bisexual, right?" She didn't miss a beat with her reply. She wasn't sure but she had suspected it since I was 18/19. Now she knows. My youngest brother knows. My sister knows. They thought it anyway. I just confirmed it. My sister also confirmed that she knows I think Christina Ricci is hot. Which, in case you don't quite see it, means that those three family members are all fine with it. We talked about it for maybe ten minutes. Being mostly my mom and them telling me nothing changed, I'm still me, who cares if I like girls too? I was so beyond relieved. It felt so fucking good to finally just get it out there and say it. Even if they freaked out, I felt relieved after saying it. My boyfriend was just pretty stunned that I just said it so bluntly and easily because he knows that I've worried over how they would react about it for so long. I worried for nothing. I would be disappointed if it bothered them. To me, it's just a part of who I am. For them to not accept it or to treat me differently because of it would hurt. It would feel like they weren't accepting a part of me. It seems I don't have to worry though and it makes me happy. So very relieved as well. I'm grinning as I type this. I know a lot of people don't understand why it's a big deal. Mostly, it isn't a big deal at all. It's only a "big deal" on a very personal, emotional level I think. I'm happy and won't worry about it anymore though. =D

32 comments:

Osbasso said...

ACK! There seems to be a rash of intrusions these days. It's sad that others have to ruin things for the rest of us. Not just talking about the HNTs here, but how this will undoubtedly affect what/how you write--constantly looking over your shoulder, as it were. Sorry it's happened, but glad you didn't delete the whole thing!

jGrrl said...

Whoever did this to you, hurt you like this - I won't trail on and on but I will say I despise them and I hope their genitals get eaten by rabid coyotes while they sleep.

Please do not leave, I care. Alot.

I am so happy for you on "coming out". It IS a huge relief and it doesn't always go horribly awry. You'd be awful surprised to find out how many "already knew" long before you yourself may have even realixzed it fully...

I want a piece of Ricci, respect your elders and get in line ;-)

MY GOD though but it looks HAWT over here :-) It was really nice before but now it feels like a big sexy fun slumber/lingerie party, how, relaxing and divine!!!

KBear said...

that's the same reason I've gone on hiatus. I'm not sure if I'm going to delete a lot of my posts or not.

you know my email. if you need a shoulder, come lean on mine:)

Paul B said...

Sorry to hear of the online problems. People can be so nasty to others.

In any case, kudos to you for coming out to your family. I'm sure that is a huge weight off of your shoulders.

Dial-Up Princess said...

new look....sorry to hear about the violation of privacy...*hugs*

spiritualmonkey said...

Do what ya gotta do. It sucks that people can... suck so badly.

Vixen said...

Well that just sucks. But I'm *really* glad you decided to stay. You would be missed terribly if you quit.

Your experience with your mom is similar to mine, except she just flat out said "you're bisexual, aren't you?" To which I said "um...yeah" and on we went to a different convo. LOL

*hugs* sweetie

The Troll said...

I zip over here every so often and either never knew or forgot about the bi-sexual thing.

BTExpress said...

I went private with my blog because of my ex in laws. I'm not going to change anything I post, just don't want them reading about my life any longer.

I glad your family took the news about you being bi so well. Out of the dozen or so bi or gay people I've known well, I don't think any of their families were really surprised when they told them. They all accepted the news graciously too. I think the people that really love us, accept us for who we are, no matter what.

Barney said...

Keep your chin up.. all things pass sooner or later.. this to shall pass, and you will be a stronger person for it...

Linds said...

Sorry you are having a difficult time...atleast the convo with the family went good. That has to be a relief:)

Rage said...

AR, I fell in love with your blog the moment I started reading it. I love the new look to your blog, but I am sad that some douchebag (or whatever the situation is) is causing a stirrup in your life like this. I hope he (or she) rots in hell.

On a lighter note, I am glad that your fam was cool with the announcement of your bisexuality. I think it's great that you are out now. It shouldn't be any other way.

Hugs baby girl.

Dave said...

Another Suburban Mom and I are sorry to hear about your troubles, but we're glad you're still here!!

Congratulations on coming out to your mom and siblings- we've had some friends come out to their families and invariably they fell sooo much better after doing so. Good for you.

We always look forward to your posts, half-naked or not, and hope you continue to hand around.

Lilly said...

I'll join others in expressing my disdain for whomever hurt you. I can't imagine how deep the cut must have been for you to nearly delete your blog.

Good for you on coming out. Call me a wuss, but I know I couldn't do it.

Another Suburban Mom said...

I am sorry that someone hurt you, but I know you will come out of things stronger.

No matter what pictures you show, you are a beautiful girl.

And you're right, Christina Ricci is hot.

Hugs and cookies for you.

Amorous Rocker said...

I appreciate all your kind words, your concern and everything all of y'all have said in general.

I don't hope the person dies or rots in Hell. I know them well enough to hope that they get some help some day. Maybe soon. Maybe not. I hope it's soon enough, before their life is ruined further.

Thank you all. One of the best things about blogging is you end up connected to people you otherwise would have never known even existed in the world. I appreciate all of you for your concern and wanting to kick ass on my behalf, lol. It's nice.

Thank you all! =) ((hugs))

Southern Sage said...

Well I'm by God coming by everyday HNT or not!
So there!
hehe
does suck about assheads tho.

Glad you didn't delete!
Have a great weekend!

fairyflutters said...

This is crazy. I can't help but wonder what happened. I'll still be reading you tits or no tits. :P

Dana said...

Just wanted to stop in and let you know that I support your decision! Only you know what you need to do and many of us will be here HNT or no HNT!

Z said...

Yay for your family! My daughter's best friend recently came out to his family, after worrying about if for years. His wife took it rather badly, but his parents and siblings have been nothing but supportive.

As for feeling violated, I'm very sorry :( I think sometimes we underestimate how exposed we make ourselves doing this. I hope it all works out.

Mickey said...

I think acceptance is a grea thing; I know I had fretted for years about telling my family (well... mum!) and friends that I was bi.

Turns out, nobody cared anyway.

Mike said...

Not matter how you decide to carry on with your blog, i for one will still visit you daily as i always have done so in the past.
Just sorry that all this has happened to you but you know that there are many, many ppl here on blogger land who are only too willing to help you and kick arse if needed !
Its good that your family are behind you too with all that you are.

Smyles said...

*sigh* I leave for two weeks and everything goes crazy! I hope everything works itself out and I'm glad you are going to continue blogging!!

Rex Venom said...

I think pictures of eyes could be great...
But that is just me
Rock on!

The Covert Lover said...

Way to go "confessing" to your family! And of course super glad that they didn't make a huge issue of it. :)
I'm glad you didn't delete your blog, and I must say I love the new color scheme!
People can be so annyoing can't they! Thus is the reason this blog of mine is annonymous! :)
Email me and I'll give you the link to my other blog if 'ya want -big differene between the two! :)

Amorous Rocker said...

Thank you all again. =) I appreciate it.

Jason said...

way different.. too bad the posts are gone though

Adam Apple said...

I approve of the new look and still 'luv ya' no matter what. Glad you decided to stick around tho'

Big Hugs!

Greg & Sheryl said...

Congratulations on coming out to your mom. You are lucky to have such an accepting and loving family.

Musns said...

I am infatuated with the new look - love it, love it, love it! One of these days I'll get technically savy enough to use something other that the standard blog looks.

As for the other stuff, things happen. People can be mean, cruel, spiteful human beings - I'm glad the person hasn't driven you away and even gladder to see the amount of online support you have as well.

As for coming out - that's great that it went over without the bat of an eye.

smooches

Masquerade said...

I'm really proud of you for being able to come out that way. When I did with my parents I didn't hear from them for two weeks, and they still deny it. ^_^ Won't they be surprised when I bring home a wife from England!!!

Amorous Rocker said...

Thank you all!!!! =)

Masq:
Thank you! Sorry your parents act that way. Record or snap pictures of their reactions when you bring home that lovely wife one day. ;) Hehehe.